


The Only Thing I Ask

by Blue_Sparkle



Series: Other Things [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Genderfluid Character, Nonbinary Dwarves, Other, Secret Relationship, Trans Character, genderfluid!Nori, genderqueer Dwarves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 85,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1628252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/pseuds/Blue_Sparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori and Dwalin had been together for years, always keeping their relationship a secret to avoid unnecessary trouble or to not risk each other's reputation or safety.<br/>Dwalin would have loved to know that Nori was safe, somewhere, while the company set out to reclaim Erebor, but when Nori reveals that he's expecting a child, Dwalin has no other choice but to bring him along and brace himself for months of secrecy and lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dwalin had not actually expected the visit, when he heard the unmistakable scratch of his window being opened from the outside. At the same time he couldn’t say that he was entirely surprised. There was nothing much lying in his room, he didn’t have many belongings here, and most was already carefully locked away into chests and shelves, so that it wouldn’t just gather dust in his absence. All he would need in the next year or two was already packed away for travel, and his weapons lay on the workspace, gleaming and freshly sharpened. This was one of the last few days he would spend in Ered Luin, at all, if things went well.

Dwalin hadn’t really thought of it, but perhaps it was only natural that Nori would come and see him, no matter how risky it was to do so in times when Balin and his mother might be there to hear their voices, and with how Nori was wanted in this part of Ered Luin. Where else was he supposed to be though? His brothers would be busy packing as well, and Dwalin didn’t know when he would next have a chance to see his thief again.

He had been looking over his knuckledusters when he heard the noise, so Dwalin put them away carefully, dimmed the lamp’s light and sat in his chair, patiently waiting for Nori to be done with the latch and the shutters. It didn’t take long; as rare as they actually met in this house, Nori was good at remembering a lock or a door and window he had opened once. And Dwalin had never bothered to make his window more secure, not after Nori told him that it truly wasn’t easy to open it unless you knew it already.

Nori moved like a shadow, all of him obscured by the way the reflected moonlight fell into the room from behind his back, and not louder than a rustling of curtains. Only his eyes gleamed golden in what little light fell on them.

He only took a few seconds to stare at Dwalin, and then he moved close, slow and head slightly tilted as if he was listening. He wasn’t be entirely sure whether they were safe then. 

Dwalin reached out with one hand, and finally Nori crossed the distance, taking it in his. When Dwalin gave a little tug to pull him into his lap, as they’d usually do, Nori remained standing, his face an unmoving mask.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Dwalin said, quietly, but not lowering his voice to a whisper. They wouldn’t be heard, not this late at night and with his room so far from where his family was, but it was best not to risk raising it too much anyway.

Nori sniffed, but didn’t say anything; eyes darting from the locked door to the other set of windows in Dwalin’s room, and then back to the warrior. He didn’t look well, even in this light he seemed _too_ pale, and there was a tenseness in his shoulders, like Dwalin hadn’t seen for a long time.

“Aren’t they looking for you right now?”

“They are.”

Nori’s voice was too quiet, even for him, and it sounded hoarse, as if he had used it too much, or as if he had roared and screamed. Dwalin’s sometimes was like that after long and vicious battle.

“Why did you come then, go hide, don’t let anyone see you.”

Dwalin wouldn’t turn Nori over to the guard, no matter what it was he had stolen or what he had done. He wouldn’t have done that for quite some time now.

Perhaps not since the day he had first seen Nori, and had thought himself a little bit in love with the gorgeous lass in a simple but incredibly flattering plum coloured dress. Not even after he found out that this pretty Dam had stolen from a merchant’s stall, or when he recognized that the lass wasn’t usually walking around being so pretty and sweet looking. She had seemed even more interesting when he saw her actual personality, and when he finally got her name, or saw Nori again, months later and learned that the thief wasn’t a Dam most of the time, and hardly ever got the chance to dress like a proper daughter of good house and not a street urchin.

And there was no way Dwalin could even think of ever betraying him, now that they were lovers. It was hard, to not be there to help Nori when he needed it, but Dwalin did his best to not put him at any more risk.

Nori shifted a little, his fingers trembling against Dwalin’s hand before he noticed and willed them to be still once again.

“There is something important… I needed to… and Dori said I can only stay if I don’t leave the house at all and he doesn’t want the guard to cause trouble so soon before they leave with the King.”

Dwalin put his other hand on Nori’s hip, and the thief briefly shifted away, leaned into the touch again, looked uncertain but then just remained where he was, and let Dwalin rub soothing circles right above his belt.

“Did you want to say goodbye?”

Dwalin nearly said ‘farewell’, but this wasn’t, he won’t let it. No matter how long this journey would take, and what they would face, he would return to Ered Luin and bring Nori back to Erebor. Nori wouldn’t let himself be caught, even if he was a known criminal nearly everywhere he might go. 

They would meet again, and perhaps they could finally stop caring about who knew of them then. Finally stop caring about how Nori’s reputation would be a stain on the line of Fundin, how he wouldn’t really be safe with the guard knowing where he’d be, with Dwalin loosing his reputation and what trust people had in him, if it is known that he was bedding a thief and never even thought of putting him to justice.

Perhaps, as the hero of Erebor, Dwalin would be able to not give a damn about these things, perhaps he would have enough gold to never worry about it again. And Nori’s siblings were going, too, and it might be that their newfound reputation would shine on their thieving brother as well.

Nori shook his head, closed his eyes, opened them. His shoulders tensed even more, and Dwalin recognizes the defensive stance. He wasn’t sure what was making Nori feel threatened, but he hoped it wasn’t him. He never did anything to make his thief be like this on purpose.

“No goodbye,” Nori replied, “I’m here to ask you to go see Thorin, and convince him to let me join your quest.”

Dwalin froze a little, then gave Nori a crooked grin.

“Why? He won’t take criminals, or none with a warrant as long as yours. If he did, you wouldn’t leave your siblings join without you.”

 _Or me_ , he didn’t add.

“You need to.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to go this badly? Are you afraid of the law? You never let that bother you, I thought you would hide among the towns of Men; you would be safe there. Why would you want to leave now?”

Nori’s eyes were nearly emotionless as he looked down at Dwalin, but he also looked more serious than usual.

“Because I am pregnant.”

The words took some time to actually reach Dwalin’s brain, and then it took him several more moments to try and make sense how they related to the quest before the actual message filtered out of them.

“You-“

He moved his mouth, tried to say something, looked from Nori’s face to his belly, then up again, trying to see the truth in Nori’s face but he still was so unmoving, waiting, watching him.

“How? I thought- I though we always were careful and how-“

“I don’t know,” Nori’s voice was still so quiet but now Dwalin could hear the strain in it, and he felt Nori tense where he was touching him.

“It must have failed, I always did my best to drink these damn teas and count the days it’d be most risky and I _never_ had any trouble with any of it!”

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice from rising.

“But it happened.”

He stared down at Dwalin, giving him a few moments to reply.

Dwalin couldn’t. He just stared at Nori’s belly right before him, and of course he wasn’t showing, but what if he did? How soon would he? How was this possible?

Of course Dwalin knew how, he knew that he and Nori could make a child between them, and that there had been _some_ risk when Nori wanted them to fuck that way. But he had always been as careful as one could be, as far as Dwalin knew. He knew that there were others, who would eat their herbs and drink teas the healers were so fond of and count the days and would never ever bear a child if they didn’t want to. He had somehow known that a mistake was possible, that there was no fool-proof way if they did it like this, but that this had actually happened…

Some part of his brain was telling him that he needed to wrap Nori up in his arms, needed to kiss him and hold him and be overjoyed and thank the Maker for this gift, but the rational part of him was just telling him to be afraid. Be afraid because they both had feared of just being lovers publically, of having anyone know, and how this would be so much worse now, with a child, a bastard of the line of Durin, unless they made this official, but they _couldn’t_ really do that now, could they? Not with this little time, not with Nori wanted by the law and with them never daring to hope for marriage under the circumstances.

And Dwalin would be leaving, couldn’t really back out now, mere days before Thorin would need him by his side. Dwalin had an obligation to him. But more so to Nori and the unborn child, didn’t he?

Most of all it was Nori’s face that kept Dwalin from feeling the joy he wished to.

Nori was still looking at him, and his face was growing increasingly bitter. And afraid. He looked so afraid.

Dwalin moved his hand from where he had been holding Nori’s, to rest against his elbow, and looked up.

“What do we do now?”

Nori shrugged.

“Do whatever you can to make Thorin let me join the quest. Lie to him, give him reasons for how I might be useful, beg him if you have to. Just do this, please.”

Dwalin wanted to tell Nori that this wasn’t likely to happen, when he registered the full extend of the request.

“How far along are you?”

“About two months, I think? I am not sure how many weeks, but this seems to be about it.”

“So you mean to come along to a quest that will take _at least_ four months, in your condition?”

Finally Nori’s expression changed into a sneer, which wasn’t good, but better than the uncertainty from before.

“I am a Dwarf, there had been worse things thrown at bearers before.”

Dwalin shook his head.

“I know, but not every expecting Dwarf went to a mountain that may or may not contain a live dragon! I cannot ask Thorin to let you join us, and even if he did, I wouldn’t want to see you undergoing such a quest. I won’t do this.”

Nori’s facade crumbled at the words, and there was a desperation in his eyes, and so much fear that Dwalin wanted to hold him close, both to make it better and just so he wouldn’t have to _see_ Nori suffering like that.

“Don’t you understand!?” Nori cried, and pressed himself against Dwalin, hands clawing at his shirt.

“I _can’t_ stay in my condition! I can’t, I’d be all on my own!”

“You’d be safe in Ered Luin, or anywhere else you might travel to in the area.”

Nori made a chocked sob, and now he really was trembling.

“I can’t _travel_ with no purpose and nobody there with me! I can’t do this alone, but all _good_ Dwarves would just call the guard, and I do not trust the bad ones with our child! I don’t, I can’t stay here. I’d end up in prison.”

Dwalin curled his arms around Nori’s waist, pulling him in and trying to think.

“Hide among the Men, until it blows over?”

This was what he thought Nori would do in the first place. But that earned him a laugh that sounded more like Nori was doing it to keep himself from panicking.

“ _Think_ Dwalin. I do not look like their women, I have always introduced myself as a Dwarf, even where it might have been safe. I don’t think the Men would know what to do with a bearing Dwarf, even if I let them near me. And what would they do if they knew I’m not even… You know how they are.”

Dwalin did indeed, and he knew it had never been particularly safe for Dwarrowdams, or bearers, which was why they all kept away from the Tall Folk if at all possible. He pulled Nori into his lap, let him cling to his neck and petted his head, trying to think of something to say.

“I can’t tell Dori, he’d just get mad and then try to stay with me. But he has to go on this quest, it’s a new chance for him and Ori, and he wouldn’t be able to protect me from the guard anyway. And what would _they_ do? Lock me away and send me a healer now and then, and then they would take my child away, and I’d never see them again. Would they even bother giving it to Dori? Would you all even be alive at this point? Nobody… nobody would _care_ that it’s yours either. Another low bugger with a nob’s bastard child? They would take the child away to where _respectable_ Dwarves can take care of it, and neither me nor you would ever get to see it again!”

Dwalin bit back his remarks, he knew it was true. The bearer counted more than the sire, it had always been so with unwedded couples who weren’t even courting and _couldn’t_ , like it was with them. Nori would be the parent of the child, and nobody would leave a child living in prison. For all that Dwalin might be the sire, he would not have any rights, and if Nori were in prison he’d be unable to claim him as such. He’d be unable to do anything really.

There was no way Dwalin could try and make any of it at least somehow official _now_. Not with the quest so close, not with Nori having a criminal record that wouldn’t make anyone turn a blind eye anymore. Even if Nori claimed Dwalin as the father now, there would be those who said that he was just trying to bind himself to the line of Durin, that it wasn’t true, that he was just using it as a means to get out of prison, and that it didn’t matter anyway, with Dwalin surely not _wanting_ a thief’s child.

He wished he could just stay and be by Nori’s side in this. He couldn’t, he’d have to abandon Thorin and their hope to return to their ancestral halls, he would need Balin’s help to deal with this properly and Balin wouldn’t leave Thorin’s side either. He couldn’t risk any of this for selfish reasons, just as Nori wouldn’t want to hold back his siblings.

“What do we do?” Dwalin asked again, trying to comprehend the situation and failing. Instead he wrapped his arms around as much of Nori as he possibly could.

Nori shook his head, leaning into the touch.

“Speak to Thorin. Tell him that I’m useful. He’d erase the criminal record of his company, if needed, convince him that even mine isn’t too long for it. Tell him I’m loyal, lie if you have to, tell him they’ll need me. We just have to keep this hidden until Erebor, or long enough that they can’t send me back to where they’ll lock me away.”

Dwalin hesitated, tried to come up with a better solution. He couldn’t, he wanted Nori by his side but he also wanted to protect him, and usually staying safe in a mountain would have been the best option, it was nearly instinct to want a bearer or a young child stay inside the safety of stonewalls.

Nori noticed the pause, tightened his fists around Dwalin’s shirt and glared. His eyes were shining and Dwalin wasn’t sure whether they were just reflecting the light, whether he was close to tears or just angry.

“I never asked you for _anything_ , Dwalin. Never. But now I want you to just do this _one_ thing, please. For my sake. For the sake of our child.”

Nori really hadn’t asked Dwalin to do anything for him before. Not to give him money or use his influence to get Nori out of trouble, nor to use any of his own power as a heir of Durin to do anything for Nori’s benefit. All Dwalin might have ever done was his own idea and Nori had frowned at him if he noticed.

“Please, for the child, if for nothing else. Please, even if it fails, there is a chance that you can keep it at least, if they decide I’m no fit parent.”

Nori’s eyes grew uncertain at that.

“You do want the child, don’t you?”

His voice sounded small and he shifted away from Dwalin. Of course, with the situation like this Dwalin hadn’t voiced any positive thoughts and Nori had no reason to think that he even had them. And it really was hard to think of joy with the things they brought along. Dwalin swallowed and dragged one of his hands over Nori’s body to rest against his stomach.

“I do, more than anything. I just wished it wouldn’t be happening like this, and not with you in danger.”

“It’s too late to change this now,” Nori said, and curled up against Dwalin’s side once more. 

They sat like this for a while, with Nori just letting himself be held, and Dwalin brushing his hands over Nori’s hair and back, staring at the wall and trying to think of _something_ that would keep Nori safe and the baby healthy and with him and that didn’t involve keeping everything a secret for months and going to face a potential dragon. Dwalin didn’t really think that it’d still be alive after so long, but one could never know. The journey itself would already be perilous enough. 

“Will you talk to him?”

Nori had been so quiet for a while that Dwalin wondered whether he planed to sleep like this. He sighed and pulled Nori close to press a kiss to the side to his head.

“Aye. I’ll do whatever it takes.”


	2. Chapter 2

Thorin was sitting in his study, writing a letter to their kin in the Iron Hills. He would be leaving early the next morning, to meet with some of them, so Dwalin was glad that he still had at least a little time to talk to him before their ways parted for now.

When he entered, Thorin looked up with a brief smile and then returned to his writing. He was used to Dwalin sometimes joining him when he was busy with things he didn’t want to do, with the warrior just sitting in a corner and waiting or quietly sharpening his weapons. It was comfortable like that, neither had to speak but they weren’t alone in whatever it was they had to do. Or Thorin, since he did have duties that required him to sit and write or read documents ever so often.

This time Dwalin didn’t go to sit down, but remained standing in front of Thorin’s desk, until the change from the usual habit was noticed. Thorin raised his eyebrows, and put away his quill before speaking.

“Is there something you need to talk about?” 

His voice was hoarse, he had done much negotiating these past days, and a lot of convincing as far as his company went. They were too few still, only twelve Dwarves and maybe the wizard they’d been talking to joining, but Dwalin wasn’t sure about that one yet.

“Aye. I’m here to tell you that we need a thief.”

“A thief?”

“For the journey.”

Thorin’s lips quirked a little and he looked up questioningly. 

“Do you think so? What for, Gandalf said he would find us someone to search the dragon’s horde and whose smell will be unknown to the worm.”

“I do not trust the wizard with this.”

Thorin sighed. “I do not like this either, but he seems to know what he is talking about.”

Dwalin frowned at that. He had thought about how having a wizard who wasn’t a Dwarf on the journey wasn’t something he wanted. And that burglar he promised to find them… Dwalin knew little of Hobbits, but he didn’t like the idea of having another stranger in the company, one who wouldn’t understand about Nori and one Dwalin’s didn’t want around, should everything be discovered.

He hated not knowing how dangerous that burglar would be, and he needed to be ready to stand in front of Nori and know how to protect him, should it come to the worst.

“We will need a thief during the journey, too. Or at least someone who knows his way around the dangerous kind of people we’ll encounter on the road. Somebody who will steal supplies if we loose ours and have no coin.”

He waited a little to see whether Thorin would protest, but his King knew that one couldn’t always go by with just the honest way.

“We will also need all help we can get during the journey. Someone who wandered before and on paths no respectable warrior would have thought of. We need secrecy and someone to help if we lack provisions, somebody who knows how to survive while keeping hidden.”

“I know that much.”

“Do you think the wizard would have thought of that? Do you think that burglar of his would be any good? I do not trust this, I’d rather have a Dwarf to guide us in need, one who _understands_ and one who’d at least have the loyalty to his kind as an influence.”

They look at each other, and Dwalin knew he hit a nerve. Neither he nor Thorin had ever liked the idea of seeking help among the Tall Folk, and Hobbits as well, if they’d ever cross their way. Too often had they all proved untrustworthy and uncaring about Durin’s folk, and it was hard to shake a decades long weariness.

“Do you have someone in mind?”

Dwalin shifted a little. He needed to make Thorin allow this, and not seem as if it was _too_ important to him.

“Do you know of Nori?”

Thorin took a moment to consider.

“Nori… His siblings have signed on for the journey, haven’t, they?” He looked at Dwalin and frowned. “Why do you believe he would let himself be convinced to come? He hasn’t asked to sign on himself yet, if I remember right.”

“Because of his criminal record. Might be he’d go with his siblings, but everyone knows you wouldn’t take just any criminal who comes along. Most would just do it for a chance of having their crimes erased and then run.”

“Just how bad is it?”

“Bad enough that he won’t be able to avoid arrest should anyone recognize him on the street. In any town of Dwarves really.”

Thorin leaned back into his chair with a quiet snort.

“You are right, Dwalin. I won’t take someone who’s in this much trouble. I won’t bend the law simply to fill our ranks. Better honest Dwarves than a troupe of scoundrels and cutthroats.”

“He isn’t a cutthroat!” Dwalin interjected, doing his best to keep his voice steady and as if he wasn’t invested in this too much. “He is a thief and regularly gets into fights among the likes of him. He is honest, though, and won’t harm the company. You are his King after all, and his siblings will be there.”

“A honest thief?” Thorin laughed. “Where did you get one of those?”

“It doesn’t matter. He _will_ be loyal to the company and his siblings. Most of his criminal past was about him being involved with illegal poaching on Men’s lands, since when have we truly _cared_ about this? But he will know how to get food in unlikely places and how to get by, and we can use that.”

Dwalin could see Thorin considering it. There was hope then, as long as he hadn’t decided on anything there still was a chance to make him reconsider it.

“What if he betrays us?”

“I will personally see that he doesn’t.”

“But can you be sure? Would you be ready to take responsibility for anything he does?” Thorin gave Dwalin a searching look. “You were the one to suggest his name, I will not hold Dori responsible for his brother. You however…”

“Aye,” Dwalin said. “I will take responsibility and personally see that he always behaves in a way that does not harm our quest.”

Hadn’t he always?

The expression on Thorin’s face made Dwalin a little uneasy, but he let it slide for now. 

“Is there any particular reason why it has to be this one?”

Dwalin shrugged.

“His siblings are already going, and I know what to expect of Nori. He’ll take the chance to start a new life, to go honest, and I know that he won’t betray any of us. Besides, he is good at what he does.”

Thorin nodded and dipped his quill into the inkpot, breaking eye contact though that strange expression remained. 

“Very well. I shall see that the thief’s family tells him about this. If he does not want to come freely, bring him here yourself to sign on or to flee wherever he wants to.”

He returned to his work, and Dwalin took that as a sign that he could leave. He bowed his head slightly, even if Thorin wasn’t looking anymore, and took his leave. 

This was what Nori had wanted, and it still was the only way Dwalin could think of that guaranteed Nori being safe of being locked away and the child being taken, the only way that would ensure that Dwalin could take care of him and have him by his side. It was also dangerous, with the risk of death and injury and Nori’s secret being discovered by the others, and then him being send away and Dwalin being disgraced.

The thought of all that might happen, and the need to lie to Thorin and everyone he cared about for many months to come made Dwalin’s stomach tie itself into a knot. He thought of the desperation in Nori’s eyes, and the child that needed to be protected and stay with Nori once it was born no matter what, was what made Dwalin resolve that he would go with this. As long as it did not harm Thorin and the actual quest, Dwalin would do anything in his power to keep his thief and the child safe. That was his only duty now.

 

*

 

When Nori arrived at the palace, escorted by guards who were specifically instructed _not_ to arrest him, Dori nearly cried from gratitude.

“It is a great honour to be trusted like this,” he told Thorin, over and over. Neither he nor Ori had really expected that Nori would be allowed to join due to his reputation, and neither had dared to approach Thorin about the matter.

Thorin had merely nodded benevolently, and then had watched Nori sign the contract with a slightly suspicious look. He knew nothing of him after all, and while he trusted Dwalin’s good intentions, Thorin couldn’t exclude the possibility of Dwalin being fooled as well. Dwalin supposed that he couldn’t really ask for more, and as long as Nori was allowed to ride with them until they reached the Lonely Mountain, all was well.

There was little time to actually meet Nori in private, even if they were sleeping in the same house for the last few days before the journey. Thorin departed the evening of the day Nori signed on, and after that Dori decided that he needed to oversee his brother packing the right weapons and clothes for the journey. 

There was some awkwardness about all three siblings, with Ori being at ease with Nori, but Nori being unsure what to talk about, and Dori was hovering with some level of annoyance and worry about him. There was no way Dwalin could approach like that, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he and Nori were supposed to behave around one another now.

They couldn’t be _too_ friendly or people would know that they had known each other intimately even before there was talk of the journey, but Dwalin didn’t feel like pretending that he disliked the thief for what he was either. If he overdid that, the others would question the camaraderie of the company and whether they didn’t work together as they should, and even the thought of being intentionally rough or cold with his lover and bearer of his child made Dwalin’s skin crawl.

He saw no way to speak to Nori without having Dori or little Ori anywhere near him. But on the first day, Dwalin was watching the members of their company that had already gathered, and especially Nori, who was listening to something Dori was trying to tell him. The thief only looked up briefly, but he met Dwalin’s eyes, and there was such a gratitude and relief in his otherwise relaxed face, that Dwalin was reassured about his lie being worth it.

 

*

 

The day the company was due to leave Ered Luin was a good one. There was no cloud in sight, and there hadn’t been any rain for a while, so the conditions to get used to riding their ponies and later setting up camp were ideal.

The final preparations were being made, and Dwalin was one of the first to be done with securing all of his packs on the ponies and it even left him with some idle time. He left his pony in the palace’s yard and went inside, making sure that there was nothing he forgot or could help others with.

Everything seemed fine, and nobody was in need of his hand. He was nearly ignored by everyone else around, both his cousins busy taking their leave of Glóin’s son and wife, and Dís sitting with her daughters.

She gave him a smile as Dwalin passed, but he didn’t want to intrude into the moment. Fíli leaned against their mother’s side in the last moments they’d see each other this year, and watched as she brushed and fastened Kíli’s hair with a clasp.

“Do I really have to pretend to be a prince for the entirety of the journey?” Kíli was just whining slightly. She had not done such a long one before, and certainly not one crossing through that much of Men’s territory. 

“Only when speaking,” Dís reassured her. “The road is never safe but we learned the hard way that not everyone will treat you the same if they knew you’re a Dam. It will be safer if you always are just _prince_ Kíli, when outsiders can hear.”

Fíli brushed her fingers through her sister’s hair.

“We all will do this,” she added. “And we will travel with Mister Gandalf and a Hobbit, so it’d be best if they know us as brothers. We can’t know if they are to be trusted yet.”

“If at all,” Dwalin added, making all three princesses look up at him, with different degrees of worry and scepticism on their faces. 

It was true; Dwalin would not expect to ever trust the wizard and the Hobbit with something like this. Not if they might decide their Dams couldn’t fight after all. Not if it put them in any kind of risk. He didn’t wait to see their reactions and went away, looking for something else to do to pass the time with.

He passed the corridor leading to all the guest bedrooms, looking around at the doors. Dwalin didn’t go to this part of the palace often; as part of the family and someone who stayed overnight a lot, he actually had his own small room. The company had left the ones Dís had provided already, and Dwalin could see that all were already cleared of all signs of somebody staying, empty and tidied up.

All except for one. 

The door was open and Dwalin at first didn’t even notice that somebody was inside, merely glancing into the room in passing, before he realized that it was occupied. Nori sat at the edge of the room’s only chair, his pack at his feet and the many braids that made up his beard falling over his chest. Neither of his siblings was anywhere near this part of the palace, and his fingers worked on unbraiding his neatly done moustache. 

Dwalin walked through the door slowly, unsure of what to do. They hadn’t been alone in one place ever since Nori signed on for the quest, and soon they would have to leave, so there was no time to truly do anything.

Nori glanced up briefly, but then returned to his work, undoing the patterns woven into his beard and quickly gathering up hair to do them again. Dwalin watched it for a few minutes, before he realized that Nori was breaking apart his preferred subtle and beautiful patterns and did them again in the simplest three-plait braids.

“Why are you changing your style?” Dwalin asked and leaned against the wall, still watching.

The patterns Nori usually had, told anyone who cared to look about how he was a Dwarf _for now_ , or a Dam for a little while, depending on the day. Now his braids held no meaning at all. 

“We will travel soon,” Nori said with a slight shrug, as if it was the most obvious thing. “One can never know just how much strangers happen to know about our customs.”

Dwalin wanted to throw in about how none of the Talk Folk could possibly know about the signs Dwarves might weave into their hair and beards if they wished to, but decided not to. Despite how well guarded most things were one could never be too careful, and if Nori felt safer this way he could only encourage it. Anything that offered any sort of protection would be welcome now.

Nori braided on in silence, neatly tied off the ends of his braids and then secured them in their usual three points. When he was done with that he finally turned to look at Dwalin properly. They watched each other for a few seconds before Nori sighed and stood up to cross the room and wrap his arms around Dwalin’s waist.

“Thank you,” he muttered, voice nearly completely muffled from where his face was pressed against Dwalin’s chest. He held on tightly, and Dwalin felt his heart clench. He carefully pulled Nori and brushed one hand over the back of his neck, while trying to avoid ruffling Nori’s hair.

“I can’t promise you that it will work,” Dwalin warned Nori. He didn’t want to remind him of how things would only get more difficult, and how there still was the possibility of all he feared coming to pass. “I will do all I can to protect you.”

“We will _make_ it work,” Nori insisted before leaning back slightly. He still held on to Dwalin and did not escape his arms either. He looked hopeful and more at ease than before now, and Dwalin wished it could always be like this. If they could openly declare their relationship for what it was, he could always be there to hold Nori, and protect him and make sure that he wouldn’t need to do things as going on this quest.

Though the thought of not seeing Nori for this long pained him, Dwalin still felt that it would be much better for his peace of mind if Nori just remained here, in the palace with Lady Dís perhaps. He’d have every right to, bearing Dwalin’s child. Now it was just another thing that made Dwalin tense up.

He looked down at Nori’s flat stomach, trying to sort out what he was even supposed to think about any of this. His hands had slid down to rest against Nori’s side, and he hadn’t even noticed how his thumbs rubbed gently against his belly.

He stared at his hands, then looked up to see Nori watching him. 

“We _will_ make this work,” Nori said again, voice firmer. “I am clever enough to hide this, and I trust you to protect me. I won’t ask you to do anything you wouldn’t agree with, but I will think of a way to keep everything hidden. Together we can manage anything, I promise.”

It was wrong, somehow, that Nori was the one who seemed to be confident, and that it was _him_ comforting Dwalin, and not the other way around. Unlike Dwalin, Nori could not walk away from this, and he would be the one to bear the brunt of any consequences coming from any of it. 

Though Dwalin supposed that he couldn’t leave this any more than Nori could. The very thought of letting his love deal with a pregnancy and everything else on his own, and of abandoning their child made Dwalin’s hair stand on end. 

He tightened his hold on Nori’s waist and kissed him, perhaps harder and more desperate than he had intended, but Nori just arched into his touch and let him.

When they parted Nori was smiling encouragingly, and brushed his hand over Dwalin’s beard.

“We can do this. You’ll see, we will be together and everything will work out fine.”

Dwalin nodded, and wished for it to be true, just as much as he wished for this quest to succeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is Dwalin's point of view, which means that nearly everyone's gender will be stated with their preferred pronouns. I don't really see a way to mention it within the story within the next few chapters, though there might be hints later. so apart from Nori, here is what it's like in this verse:
> 
> Both Glóin and Bifur are ftm (the particular headcanon is borrowed from Thorinsmut and the stories these two are featured in)  
> Kíli is mtf, though she acts and dresses very boyish (that headcanon was one Tagath talked about). in all three cases, sorry if I misunderstood!  
> Ori is agender, hence Nori's siblings and not his brothers...
> 
> I might see a way to mention all of this without it feeling out of place. If you notice anything off about how I do this, please do call me out on it


	3. Chapter 3

Leaving behind the mountains and riding towards the point where they were supposed to meet the wizard was enjoyable, in a way. Dwalin didn’t need to do much, apart from watching the surroundings with sharp eyes, and let his pony take him along the path Glóin set for them. The area they would be travelling through for now was a safe one, both close to the realms of Dwarves, the peaceful Shire and protected by Men who lived all over the place and around them.

Glóin was more familiar with the route they had decided to take, and the ponies were gentle beasts, who barely strayed from the path and only required a gentle nudge to keep them on track most of the time.

It was a good opportunity to actually get to know the company, or at least get a first feel for how they would be like out in the wild. So far Dwalin liked their presence well enough.

He knew his kin well, of course, he was used to Glóin and Óin traveling with him, and though he hadn’t had a chance to go on a similar kind of journey with the princesses, both Fíli and Kíli were good lasses, and Dwalin felt at ease and trusted their ability to handle the new situation they had been training for nearly all their lives.

The little family of miners and craftsmen and mercenaries they had taken along, was not one Dwalin had really met before. There was Bofur, ever cheerful and always starting songs by taking the lead with his strong pleasant voice, or by playing them on his flute. He was someone one just had to like at least a bit, and from how he held his mattock and his easy strength Dwalin could only assume that he was a passable fighter.

His younger brother seemed to be content to be quiet or busy himself with one thing or another, mostly something that involved food. Bombur was no professional cook, but an architect of sorts. The way he already started to prepare things such as herb mixtures while riding, and just the ease with which he created meals to fill their stomachs made Dwalin question why he hadn’t chosen that as a career. It was not up to him to question another Dwarf’s motivations, though, and Bombur was good to be around.

Their older cousin Bifur was a little harder to get used to. Dwalin did not mind having him on the company, but so far he sometimes had trouble understanding the seasoned warrior. Bifur would often talk in a dialect Dwalin found hard to follow, and sometimes he would fondle his boarspear with a vicious look about him. There was no way to tell how Bifur would be in battle, and whether it was a good idea to lead him to where they might encounter Orcs and Goblins. The axe in his head had been put there by one of these creatures, apparently, and Dwalin knew that not all who survived such injuries dealt well with returning to battle. His cousins didn’t seem to be worried at all, so Dwalin let it slide for now.

As for Dori and Ori… Dwalin knew them, of course, one could not avoid knowing the family of the one they wished to marry, even if that wasn’t really possible and kept in secret anyway. He knew that Dori was the strongest Dwarf he’d ever met, and he knew that Dori was vicious and a well trained fighter.

He knew that Ori was clever and came along mostly for the sake of writing about the quest, following Nori’s example of being ‘rebellious’ and was much stronger than they seemed as well. 

He knew that both of them loved their middle brother, and that they would protect him no matter what. He knew that Ori looked up to Nori but that both of them didn’t quite know what they could do about one another sometimes, he knew that Dori sometimes mothered Nori and that they sometimes got into fights and disagreed about near anything they could.

Dwalin liked them, and he felt guilt gnaw at his conscience when thinking about them. He had gotten their brother pregnant after all, and this had led to more complications that could really be good for one bearing. He wondered what they would do. Would they get angry at him, would they accuse him and want to fight him, would they instead decide that he did not matter in this, and that all was Nori’s fault in one way or another? There was no way of knowing how somebody would react to such news.

Dwalin wasn’t entirely sure just how much Dori knew of Nori’s trouble with the law, and whether he knew in just how _much_ trouble his brother was. Then there was the thing about Nori being with someone who could have easily turned him over to the law, someone he couldn’t be together with openly, as his reputation wouldn’t allow it to be truly safe for either. And he had gone and been careless and ended up in a situation that had him with child.

Part of Dwalin hoped that the need to protect their family was stronger than any sort of anger Dori might feel about how his brother had behaved. He surely would not leave him on his own while bearing, and he’d be the uncle of the baby, too.

Though then Dwalin was led to worry about how Dori might decide that he did not want _him_ anywhere near Nori and the child. It _was_ Dwalin’s fault, too, and Dwalin’s high position that might make people doubt what Nori might tell of the child’s sire. Despite his wish to see Nori as safe and happy among his own family as possible, Dwalin still felt like he wouldn’t allow anyone to dare keep his child from him. Whatever it’d take, he would not respect Dori wanting him gone, unless it was Nori who sent him away of his own free will, and Nori would not do such a thing.

As for travelling with Nori…

It was both a joy and a pain to have Nori so close the entire time, to barely have to turn his head to see him riding along in the column and to share their meals every day without worrying about who would see them. But they couldn’t truly _be_ together, and Dwalin couldn’t take Nori’s hand or hold him and kiss him and talk to him about things one just didn’t not share with a traveling companion one was supposed to be wary of. He wasn’t used to this constant closeness without actually getting to be close to Nori.

Most of the time Dwalin didn’t know what to do or how to behave. Everyone knew that he had known Nori at least some time before, and that he trusted him to some extend. What he didn’t know was how much he could do without making it seem like more than that. He couldn’t tell how much holding back would seem too cold, and at which point everyone would just think that Dwalin treated Nori like any other of the company. He didn’t know just how everyone else would have expected him to behave, and what everyone else would see as normal behaviour for Dwalin as far as the likes of Nori were concerned.

Dwalin would worry endlessly and try to decide what the right course of action was, and then he would look up and see Nori watching him, with none of his own worry reflected in his eyes. Nori seemed to be far too much at ease with any of this, and he’d look at Dwalin with amusement in his eyes.

Each time somebody came too close to Nori, Dwalin would tense up with worry, each time somebody talked to them or when sweethearts back at home or former lovers were discussed, Dwalin would grow silent though Nori would laugh and joke about things that were so obviously about _him_ , if one knew, but didn’t give up any real information anyway.

He seemed to take it so easy, seemed to not care for anything at all while Dwalin was constantly thinking about how he’d go about keeping Nori and their secret safe. Perhaps he _was_ worrying too much, perhaps Nori was just clever enough to see how whatever measures he might take were enough. 

For all his watching, Nori never did anything to approach Dwalin, or start a conversation that was more than the bare minimum of what was usual in a company. Sometimes Dwalin thought that he looked as if he was waiting, but that never lasted either.

A part of Dwalin kept questioning whether all of this hadn’t just been Nori’s plan to get out of Ered Luin, and a guarantee to be permitted to join Thorin’s quest. This was a chance to escape the areas where he was wanted and also restore his reputation.

This was dismissed near immediately. Dwalin had known Nori for ages now, and it had been years since he had last questioned Nori’s motivations or doubted his love for him. 

Dwalin would just have to be patient and wait for an opportunity when both of them were in private and with no risk to have anyone overhear them. Until then Dwalin would have to try and remain cautious about how much he could let show.

They had only been on the road for a week, not even half way to where they were supposed to meet with the wizard, when Dwalin finally had some time with Nori. Not of his own merit. He was too busy trying to decide just how much he could get away with in the name of making sure that Nori didn’t do anything wrong to really think of anything to give them time alone.

The company had managed to move far quicker than they had expected this day, and found a perfect camping spot near a copse of trees, with a young forest very close by. They were nearing the settlements of the Shire, and the landscape was one that lent itself to being careless and less wary of what might happen on the road.

There were streams nearby, and berries growing all around, and as it was still a few hours before it would start to truly get dark, half the company decided to explore the area and walked away from where Bombur already started to cook dinner. 

Dwalin idly wondered whether he should stay and help, or whether he should practice a little with his axes. He did not really feel like doing either of that. A quick glance around the remaining Dwarves showed that nobody was up to anything, all taking a nap or busying themselves with carving or knitting or similar things. Nori wasn’t there either; he had disappeared to explore the area with Bofur, right after taking care of their ponies.

It shouldn’t bother Dwalin this much that he didn’t know where exactly his lover was at every single moment. He had gone months at a time without even knowing on which side of the Misty Mountains Nori was, and now he couldn’t be that far off either. Perhaps he had gotten too used to having him around constantly, but there also was the growing need to be close to Nori. Instinct, perhaps, and Dwalin didn’t like it one bit. It might lead him to act irrationally in the future, and he couldn’t risk making mistakes because of that now.

He did not want to stay by the campfire while worrying like this, so instead Dwalin chose to wander off on his own. Perhaps he might find berries or anything interesting to kill the time with ybefore dinner.

Dwalin chose the direction leading away from where everyone else had gone, unwilling to deal with any of the others and hoping for some time on his own, if all he’d actually like to see now weren’t there. 

The trees were all fairly young, and though they stood close by and had bushes and tall grass growing everywhere between them, the canopy let through nearly all of the sunlight and did nothing more than to provide a nice shade. It was calming, somehow, even if Dwalin would have preferred solid rock around him to be completely at ease. He had learned to appreciate it to have nature be anything but a danger though, and these lands were safe.

He didn’t get to go far, as only a few minutes away from the company there was a soft rustling of leaves immediately followed by a body pressing to Dwalin’s side and hands wrapping around his shoulders. Only the many times this had happened before prevented Dwalin from throwing the other over his shoulder on instinct.

“There you are,” Nori practically purred as he lowered his hands to rest against Dwalin’s chest.

“Ye shouldn’t do this, I could have punched out your teeth for that,” Dwalin snapped, or tried to. He sounded to longsuffering to truly have any effect on Nori anymore.

“You’re just easily startled,” Nori shrugged, then smiled up at Dwalin with a slight leer.

“Have you been trying to figure out what you want to do without being suspicious? It’s adorable; stop worrying about being too friendly. ‘s long as you don’t snog me right in front of everyone they won’t really think it’s strange.”

Dwalin gently put his hands on Nori’s wrists.

“I lied to Thorin about what I know of you, and I can’t let the others suspect that there is something going on between us. It’s for your safety, you asked for this!”

Nori’s smile slipped, and his hands curled around the straps of Dwalin’s axe-harness. 

“I know,” he said “I cannot thank you enough for this.”

They stood like that for a few moments, and Dwalin wondered whether he could just grab Nori and hold him close and not let go until they had to walk back.

Nori tugged at Dwalin’s clothes a little, before his smile returned.

“If they think that we knew each other but only got intimate on the quest after getting to know each other so much better…” 

He trailed off and pressed closer against Dwalin at the word ‘intimate’.

“They wouldn’t have to know the truth, or that there’s anything between us at all, if we’re careful, but even a slip wouldn’t end too badly.”

He grinned and Dwalin knew that expression too well.

“We’re _completely_ safe in that, though, if you’re not doing _anything_. But lets change that.”

“Nori…”

“You hadn’t had me for too long, didn’t you?”

“This isn’t… the camp is right there, somebody will see…”

Nori scoffed.

“Everyone’s wandering far away from this spot, nobody will see us.”

He tugged at Dwalin’s harness and walked backwards, pulling Dwalin along until his back was pressed against a tree and Dwalin’s hands landed on his hips.

“It’s been too long!” Nori insisted and hooked one of his legs around Dwalin’s waist, rubbing himself against Dwalin’s hips in the process. He leaned his head against the tree, looking up at Dwalin from underneath his lashes and gently thrust against Dwalin, just enough to cause some friction. 

They shouldn’t, being caught would cost them so much more than usual now, but this wouldn’t have been the first time they fucked in the open, and Dwalin really hadn’t done this for too long, which wasn’t fair with how close Nori always was. Nori giving him that look and his hardening cock didn’t do much to help Dwalin think about possible consequences either.

With a curse Dwalin reached down to undo his belt buckle and the laces of his pants, which made Nori make a small cheer and briefly let go to do the same. A few seconds of fumbling later Nori pushed himself up against the tree and pulled Dwalin closer.

He pushed down his pants a little, parted his legs and reached down to wrap his hand around Dwalin’s cock, guiding him closer.

Dwalin tensed, looking down at what Nori was doing.

“We shouldn’t like this…” he started but Nori just snorted.

“I can’t get any more pregnant than I already am. Get on with this!”

With a slight growl Dwalin grabbed Nori’s hips and pushed himself inside him. Nori let out a sharp cry, then his arms wrapped around Dwalin as he thrust deeper and harder with each push of his hips, careful to not go too fast with this, and trying to keep Nori steady as he tried to urge him on to go quicker anyway.

For a while the surrounding forest was filled with the sound of Nori’s moans and Dwalin groaning against him and the rustle of their clothes as they tried to hold on to each other harder. Nori could barely move between Dwalin and the tree’s trunk, scratching at Dwalin’s back and stroking over his bald head without leaving any marks, and trying to spread his legs further and feet shuffling for leverage as he was pushed higher being the only things he really could make his brain coordinate.

It didn’t last long, not with how much time had passed since they fucked last; Dwalin felt himself come closer to completion and reached between their bodies to stroke Nori until he brought him to his peak first, coming shortly after with Nori crying out his name and clenching down on his cock.

They sagged against the tree, breathing hard, and Nori panting with his nose squished against Dwalin’s cheek. After the time spent apart this was more than enough for now and having Nori nuzzle against him was nice, too.

The guilt filled Dwalin as the afterglow ebbed away. He tried to pull away and put his pants back on, which wasn’t easy with Nori chasing his embrace and whining in protest about not being held any longer. This had been dangerous, with the company so close, and no matter how good it was to hold Nori and get to fuck him, Dwalin felt nervous at that thought. 

He sighed and spread his hand over Nori’s stomach. 

“We shouldn’t have… This couldn’t have been good for it. We shouldn’t be doing this until the child is born.”

Nori laughed against Dwalin’s skin.

“That’s a load of Warg shit,” he said “Don’t think I’d let myself live in celibacy for the rest of the year. Forget it, this won’t cause any harm and you _not_ fucking me when we have the opportunity is what will cause _me_ harm.”

Dwalin rolled his eyes and Nori laughed, patted his shoulder and stepped away to get his clothes in order. Dwalin did they same, sneaking glances now and then. Nori really was so calm with all of this, he wouldn’t have expected this. Maybe he should take it easier as well. 

Once Nori was done he returned to wrap his arms around Dwalin’s neck and kissed him. It was a soft kiss, and slow, and Dwalin held on to Nori’s hips to steady him while it lasted.

“This will work out, all will be well,” Nori promised and Dwalin really wanted to believe it more than anything.

“Dinner should be ready soon. I will go back the long way, and you go back as soon as you want. They won’t notice that we have been off together.”

He pressed another kiss to Dwalin’s cheek and disappeared through the undergrowth. Dwalin watched him go, then waited for a few moments before going back the way he came.

When he returned to the camp, Bombur was just handing out the dinner. Nori was there, sitting next to Dori and Ori and holding his bowl. Dwalin tried not to stare at him, and went to retrieve his own bowl from his pack and let Bombur fill it generously. 

Everyone had already chosen a spot to sit, and Dwalin looked around, trying to decide who to join for this meal. His eyes moved to where the Ri were sitting and he met Nori’s stare. 

Nori’s lips curled into an amused smile, and he shifted slightly on the log he was sitting on.

“Mister Dwalin,” he called, and his tone sounded near mocking. “Why don’t you come and eat with us tonight?”

Dwalin frowned and wanted to respond, but Ori already shifted to allow Nori to make even more room and refusing would probably seem stranger than just sitting by Nori’s side, and too rude besides. And why shouldn’t he?

He made his way over to Nori and sat down, not too close, but with the limited space they were still close enough that he could feel the heat of Nori’s body next to his.

Nobody seemed to pay this any mind, all busy talking and joking and eating, and Nori smiled at Dwalin, as if to say ‘told you so’. Dwalin managed a little smile in return, and then turned his attention to his dinner. Perhaps Nori really was right with this. Perhaps they could keep this going just fine for as long as they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws confetti* next chapter is Bag End


	4. Chapter 4

The last bit of their journey was nearly pleasant, in a way. Dwalin did his best to stop worrying about Nori too much, and he let himself relax and even started conversations on his own. Most of the time Nori would let his pony trot next to Dwalin’s, and then he would talk to him just as much as he had with anyone else while Dwalin hadn’t. 

Nobody was suspicious of anything they did together; nobody seemed to question why Dwalin liked Nori by his side, or why they spent most of their time near to each other. Perhaps his cousins really didn’t have a reason to believe that Dwalin would be different around someone as Nori.

It was impossible to remain completely at ease, of course. Even in this area the roads weren’t the safest, every day brought them closer to the actually dangerous part of the journey, and to Thorin and Balin, who both knew Dwalin better than the rest of his family and might have suspicions about him recommending Nori. Every day would bring them closer to the moment when Nori would actually have to put effort into seeming as if all was fine and as it should be, and to conceal his condition.

And those were mostly the worries specific to their situation. Through it all Dwalin also felt the nagging worry of the unknown he suspected every parent must know, along with the unease of the helplessness of having his partner bear a child. The circumstances would never have been right for such a thing, not between the two of them, but on a journey… Many Dwarves were born on the road, many spent large parts of their pregnancy wandering, they had to, and they were strong and could endure a lot.

Yet Nori’s cheer and carelessness seemed near unnatural to Dwalin. It grated at his nerves, to worry so much and then see Nori smile and joke and never show the slightest sign of worry or even any moment when he was quieter than usual.

It made Dwalin wonder whether Nori was truly taking this serious, whether he hadn’t lied to him, and he had to push these thoughts away over and over again.

They weren’t too far from where they would meet their Burglar, when the wizard crossed their way.

On his tall horse he was quicker than the Dwarves, and him traveling alone also meant that he could get around easier, so he had come to meet them.

Gandalf gave them a description to how to reach the house of the one who would host and later join them, and then said how he had already met Balin on the way, before riding off again.

The company was still finishing their breakfast and wrapping up their things when that happened, and Dwalin hadn’t seen Balin for too long. He also needed to make sure that their host would be harmless enough to let the company near him. He could reach the place much earlier.

“I will ride ahead,” he told Glóin, and then he had to firmly brush aside Fíli and Kíli’s offer of joining him. It wasn’t safe for the princesses either, to scout ahead when he could do it just as well.

Nori watched as Dwalin mounted his pony and took the reins, but he only nodded along as the others said goodbye and told Dwalin not to eat all the food without them.

The ride to the Hobbits’ town went much quicker now that he was by himself, and all Dwalin could see on his way seemed harmless enough. The Hobbits he encountered only watched him with some curiosity and stayed out of his way. They all seemed to be a quite gentle folk, and it only served to annoy Dwalin.

The company expected one of these to be an experienced burglar and trek through half of Middle Earth with them? He doubted that any of the soft little people even had any kind of weapons training. The world was dangerous, and Dwalin didn’t relish the thought of having one member in the company who couldn’t protect themself at all.

Dwalin didn’t let himself take any longer rest, only pausing to let the pony drink from a stream and eat, and still it was night when Dwalin finally reached the hill with the door Gandalf had marked for them to find. At least that much was good about Hobbits, they did live under the ground, even if the ground around them wouldn’t be quite suitable for any proper Dwarvish home.

Their future Burglar didn’t make a good impression on Dwalin. He seemed entirely unprepared to host the whole company, and the way he acted around Dwalin did not speak highly of him being suited for the road. If a single Dwarf set him on edge this much, then Baggins couldn’t be expected to be any good with actual danger.

The food was good, though, and seeing Balin was a pleasure. There were things in Dwalin’s life that he had never been able to share with him, but just having his older brother there was making him feel more confident. Even if he shouldn’t actually ask for advice, the presence of Balin with his wisdom and his solutions for anything was reasuring.

Together they found the pantry and started looking through Bilbo Baggins’ excessive collection of food. Someone so small surely couldn’t eat all of it, and there was nobody else living there, so Dwalin’s confidence in the Hobbit’s abilities as a host rose again.

Not all of it was something the Dwarves recognized, and for some reason Bilbo even had inedible food around. Dwalin scoffed at the thought of the company getting food poisoning this early on the quest, and made a mental note of taking care that Nori didn’t accidentally get any of the mouldy things, or any of the cheese on his plate. This couldn’t be good for his condition, and even with how careful the thief was in anything Dwalin still wanted to be _sure_.

The Hobbit kept trying to speak to them, but he neither made sense nor would he get to the point and eventually he had to leave when the princesses arrived; after riding ahead as well, and Dwalin couldn’t say that he’d have expected them to do anything else. 

It didn’t take long to actually carry some chairs and tables to the dining hall and make space for everyone else who’d be coming soon, and only minutes later a crash and loud yelling was followed by the entire company and Gandalf gathering in the Hobbit’s home.

The opportunity to drink and eat as much as they wanted, at a proper table no less, led to food flying and cheer and laughter and music and songs. It was rare that such a gathering along with a feast ended calmly and quietly, and soon all around Dwalin the noise was rising.

It was good, and he drank and sang along with them. The food and the beer were excellent, and he had not partied with most of these Dwarves before, which was a shame as all of them were good to be around for that.

Nori was on the opposite side of the table through most of it, but always near to Dwalin, and the way he ate and cheered was just like the others’. The only thing Dwalin noticed as the night went along, was how Nori would only ever pretend to drink the beer, and how his own jug kept refilling itself when he wasn’t looking, just in time with Nori’s supposed drinking.

The evening went well, and though Thorin didn’t have the best news when he finally arrived, it was fine. They had the wizard’s support, and Thorin was sure that they could do it. The journey was dangerous, but in the end they would have Erebor.

Perhaps Dwalin might not live to see that happening, but Thorin would be the King of their still lost Kingdom, and Fíli would be his heir. 

The thought didn’t use to cause any sort of fear in Dwalin. He would have gladly given his life to see the quest come to an end, to see Erebor restored and their home returned, and to have Thorin wear his grandfather’s crown.

Now he had doubts.

Some of the company had already started to look for a place to sleep, others still sat around the kitchen or by the fires, smoking or talking quietly. Dwalin was near to were Thorin and Balin had a quiet discussion, and he knew they were talking about the risks of wandering alone, and what to do in case of Bilbo not agreeing to joining on the quest. 

They would need another way to sneak into the mountain, one that wouldn’t alert the dragon, and for that the wizard would have to find a solution.

And there still was the danger of injury and even death. Dwalin heard them talking about it, and about which routes would be the least risky and where to turn to in case of one way being blocked for whatever reason.

Dwalin didn’t interrupt them in it, but as he listened, his eyes moved over the room and landed on Nori, who was sitting by Glóin’s side, listening to what the merchant had to say.

Before, Dwalin would have given anything for Thorin, would have risked all he had. He hadn’t had much to risk before though. He loved Nori, more than anything, but he would still have followed Thorin, because that was what he needed to do, and Nori would have understood that. But now he was carrying their child, and Dwalin couldn’t risk _that_ for anything.

Before Dwalin would have been glad to just know that he had helped Thorin reach what he had waited for all of his life. Now he knew that he needed to protect Nori, needed to protect their child as well. He had to be alive for that, and stronger. Now it wasn’t just a question of keeping his comrades, his King and his lover alive and well, now it was also a question of keeping Nori out of any danger altogether. Now it was a question of taking care of a child. He could not leave Nori without a partner, and more importantly, he could not let his child spent its life without ever gotten to have a father.

He hadn’t been afraid before, but this simple thing changed everything, and suddenly the tales of Erebor’s fall felt just like the memories of wars he had survived. 

 

*

 

The road leading out of the Shire was a well-used one, and a path that should be less dangerous that the actual wild. It was hard to shake the usual wariness, and despite how Dwalin had enjoyed the previous weeks in the company, now it grated on his nerves.

Perhaps it was the presence of not one but two strangers. Gandalf seemed fine enough, and clearly he knew how to get by in the world, if he had travelled for as many years as he had and still remained alive.

The Hobbit was a different matter. Dwalin hadn’t placed a bet either way, unlike most others, but he hadn’t expected Bilbo to join them after all. It was a surprise, and one he might have admired, if it hadn’t been for Bilbo’s complaining that started the minute he was placed on the back of a pony.

He had no weapons, and he did not seem to actually know of what was waiting for him in the wild. He asked for handkerchiefs and seemed to be worried about forgetting the stupidest things, while not bringing anything of use, such as a waterproof coat or imperishable emergency supplies for medicine or food. 

Bilbo _did_ bring some leftovers from his pantry, explaining that most would have spoilt if he left it unattended for so long, as he shared what he had after the first night he had been with them. He had cheese and sausages and some filled pastries, and Dwalin grudgingly had to admit that the Hobbit at least knew how to cook and seemed like a decent fellow, if one who was entirely unsuited for their quest.

He accepted some of the meat filled pastries, remembering how he had seen something similar during the party. Dwalin had a mind to go and offer them to Nori, so that he had an extra share of food while that was still possible, but as he looked up he noticed how pale the thief was. 

Everyone was still distracted by the food and by the actual breakfast Bombur was cooking for them, so nobody noticed how Nori slipped away and into the trees.

He hadn’t made a hand-motion for Dwalin to follow him, but he also hadn’t used the sign for ‘stay back’. Dwalin glanced over his shoulder where everyone was busy packing and eating, and then followed to where Nori had run off to, carefully listening for signs of being followed or for sounds the thief made.

It didn’t take long to track Nori down; he had just walked far enough to be out of earshot of the company. At first Dwalin didn’t even see him, crouched down between some tall ferns by a tree as he was.

His shoulders were shaking and he was making retching sounds in between deep shuddering breaths. Dwalin was by his side immediately, his hand coming up for a comforting gesture, and pausing the last second, unsure whether Nori wanted to be touched right now.

“Are you all right?” he asked, voice strained and Nori only coughed at that.

“’m sick, don’t you see?” Nori snapped at him.

He coughed again, retched and spit into the grass. He trembled but leaned a little towards Dwalin, who took it as a sign that he could touch Nori. Rubbing soothing circles over his back he watched and waited until Nori’s breath calmed and he sat back a little, breathing through his nose and keeping his eyes closed.

“Is that happening a lot?” Dwalin asked. 

This happened to bearers, didn’t it? He knew enough to have a vague idea of what to expect the next few months, but not enough to be completely sure of details. He wouldn’t even be able to ask anyone for help, really.

“I’ve been lucky, it’s not much,” Nori sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“Mostly I’m just _feeling_ sick. The Hobbit’s food, it was just too rich I think. Something about it makes me want to spit the contents of my stomach all over the forest.”

Nori opened his eyes and glared at the pastries Dwalin was still holding, then shut his eyes again and turned away. Dwalin quickly stuffed the food into his pocket.

“Should I make sure that your food is fine?”

“No need. Bombur’s is what I’m used to, and this should be over soon.”

There was the soft gurgling of a stream nearby, so Dwalin stood to fetch some fresh water cupped in a large leaf.

When he returned Nori was leaning his chin on his knees, looking lost and miserable. He accepted the leaf, took a few tiny sips he spit out again before eagerly gulping down what little water was left. Dwalin kneeled by his side, waiting and unsure about what to do next.

Nori wiped his mouth with the leaf and threw it away then looked up at Dwalin, eyes pleading.

“Hold me?” he asked in a small voice, and he wasn’t like this often, openly seeking comfort. 

Dwalin pulled him into his arms and rubbed his cheek against Nori’s, feeling how cold and damp his skin was. The smaller Dwarf still trembled a little from the exhaustion, but he was calming down soon enough.

It didn’t take long for Nori to look as if nothing was wrong at all, apart from his nervous expression, and Dwalin hated how Nori had learnt to be so good at concealing weakness, and how he would have to be like that for so much time to come, if things remained as they were.

“We can’t go on like this for ever,” Dwalin said and petted Nori’s braid, careful not to ruffle anything. “You’re not well, eventually we will need help, you will need rest and care and it’ll be harder to hide, we should tell somebody soon…”

Nori’s eyes flashed in anger as Dwalin said that and he gritted his teeth.

“I will endure this! I endured worse before, and this was just a temporary inconvenience, nobody will notice me being sick sometimes!”

His fingers dug into Dwalin’s arm, and now Nori’s eyes were pleading again.

“I won’t be needing actual care until the very end. We’ll be in Erebor before anyone even notices. Please, Dwalin, I could have spent the first few months in the wild. Just you being here is all the care I need right now. Please!”

As Dwalin didn’t reply he went on.

“What do you think will happen if Thorin finds out that I’m bearing your child right now?”

Dwalin thought about it. First of all, Thorin might feel betrayed by the situation. He would be both angry that Nori sneaked his way into such a dangerous endeavour while expecting a child, and he’d be angry with Dwalin for lying and betraying him as well. While it was true that they needed one with Nori’s skill, the simple fact that Dwalin had selfish reasons for suggesting him, which he hadn’t mentioned, would be enough to make everyone question whether they truly did need Nori.

There was also the question of whether everyone would believe that _Nori_ hadn’t lied. If they thought that Nori had lied to Dwalin about who the sire of their child was, they might not even care about what Dwalin had to say. 

Either way, Thorin would not allow Nori to follow. Both because he had no reason to trust him, and because he simply wouldn’t risk having one who was bearing on such a quest. 

It wouldn’t matter that Nori _couldn’t_ return to Ered Luin, they all would still see it as the better option than to drag Nori and a child along, they wouldn’t understand. Even Dwalin still felt that it would at least be _safer_ for Nori to be inside a mountain.

“He’d send you away,” Dwalin had to admit eventually.

“See?”

Nori pressed himself against Dwalin, arms wrapping around him and clinging tightly.

“Please, this is all I ask, lie to Thorin, lie to the others if you have to. But _please_ don’t tell them, please don’t have them kick me out. I couldn’t bear the thought of… please, I need to stay with you, I need our child to stay with you, please!”

Dwalin didn’t move for a while, thinking of all the things he would have to do to keep Thorin from suspecting that _anything_ was wrong, and how he would have to find a way to keep Nori safe. Eventually he sighed and wrapped his arms around Nori’s body.

“I will keep this up for as long as it’s possible,” he promised and Nori relaxed against him.

“When we are heroes of Erebor,” Nori told him, “nobody will dare to say that I am too low for you, and nobody will dare to question us. Our child would lead a good life in that mountain.”

A slightly bitter grin spread on his face.

“And if not, we’ll be on the other side of the Misty Mountains, we could make for the Iron Hills or down into the south. Together we could make it, where I couldn’t alone.”

Dwalin pressed Nori closer and shut his eyes. If things didn’t work out… If for some reason the quest failed, and or if the dragon proved too much. Would he be able to leave Thorin behind? If there truly was no other choice, and either death or returning to where the child would be taken remained, he’d have to? But he couldn’t. 

The thought of abandoning his unborn child hurt, but he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t _have_ to. There would be no need to betray Thorin, none at all, there would be a way to keep Nori safe and remain loyal and do what he wished to. 

“We will make it,” Dwalin said, trying his hardest to ignore the little voice in his head that demanded to know whether he could choose who to betray, if it came to this, his King and all he believed in, or his lover and the child he needed to protect. He couldn’t answer it, not now, not with Nori’s pleading eyes still watching him.

They _would_ make it, they would return to the company and act as if it was nothing, they would reclaim their mountain and all would be well. It simply had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori wasn't actually too confident the entire time... well... onwards~


	5. Chapter 5

Dwalin should have expected the moment Thorin walked up to him, when it was quiet and they had the opportunity for a conversation in private. He knew that Thorin had talked to Balin before, but he also knew that Thorin trusted him just as much when it came to advice.

He had spend weeks actually traveling with the company while Thorin hadn’t joined them yet, and Thorin trusted his judgement. It was an honour, really, and Dwalin knew that he was good at assessing a Dwarf’s combat skills.

The princesses had been trained by Thorin and Dwalin, and they both had confidence in their skills, as well as their ability to deal with the quest. Dwalin had seen how they joked around and played pranks, but they were just as serious as anyone else when they needed to be, and their uncle was confident about them already, but there were Dwarves Thorin didn’t know enough of yet.

In the darkness of the night, with only the stars and the dim firelight to illuminate the surroundings, Dwalin told Thorin all of what he thought of the company. They were quiet and far enough from the one on watch to not be overheard, though Dwalin didn’t like how the wizard didn’t seem to sleep yet. The old man always made the impression of one who knew what everyone around him was doing.

Everyone had at least somehow proven themselves to know how to deal with the wild, to be skilled with weapons or at least strong in one way or another. They could make it, and Dwalin was satisfied with the company they had gathered, and Thorin looked back at where they slept, proud, but with a smile that looked sad on him. They were few, but good Dwarves, and it would work out, Dwalin trusted in this, as well as Thorin did.

Both of them agreed that the wizard could only be a good addition to the quest, no matter how or why he chose to contribute to their endeavour, and they both agreed that the Hobbit was simply a liability, one they’d have to look after and who might prove a danger to himself out in the wild, and hence to the entire company.

Bilbo was the wizard’s personal friend, though, and he had signed on. Dwalin had seen how soundless Bilbo moved, and perhaps that was just what they would need once they were in Erebor, but until then he wasn’t pleased about having him along.

He should have known that Thorin wouldn’t leave it at just listening to his description. 

The two Dwarves sat on a boulder, facing the company and watching the ponies. Thorin had brought out a pouch of his favourite pipe weed, and they both shared a quiet smoke. 

Dwalin should have known that Thorin would specify eventually, that he’d seize the moment of quiet.

“Do you think we can trust Nori?”

The question wasn’t _entirely_ unexpected and Dwalin was just blowing smoke rings so he managed not to show any signs of surprise, or at least none Thorin would notice.

“Wouldn’t you ask the same of any of the others?”

Thorin held his pipe to his lips, watching the company.

“No other is a known thief.”

“Has he given you a reason to doubt him?”

“No. Has he given you any reason to trust him?”

Thorin gave Dwalin a long searching look, but the warrior just shrugged and took another drag of his pipe. 

“He never gave me any cause to doubt that he’d be loyal to this. To his family and to the quest. He wants a chance to turn honourable, and this is it. There’s gold in it, too. Really, he will be just as good as any of us.”

Thorin stood, and Dwalin assumed that he would go off and sleep then, but Thorin just stepped between the company and Dwalin, staring at him intently.

“I worry for you,” Thorin said, “and I can’t spare as much time for these things as I’d wish to, but I do. I don’t know how you know Nori, or whether he wants anything of you, but be careful, cousin. I do not like to assume things of those I don’t know, but see that he won’t use you or your trust.”

Dwalin wanted to protest but Thorin waved off.

“I will not speak of this further and I will treat Nori as I would any of the company. I do not think that he will endanger the quest, but I do worry about you a little. Take care of yourself.”

Dwalin watched him go and bit down on his pipe, trying to keep in any comment he might have made about that at bay. Thorin might have been right to worry, if the situation was different, but it was hard to not tell him of how he had known Nori for such a long time now, how he’d trust him with anything.

Thorin would not mistreat Nori in any way, as long as he saw no cause to suspect that Nori was actively doing something to endanger the company. And just worrying that Nori might in some way harm Dwalin wasn’t too bad, even if it rubbed him the wrong way to have his partner doubted. 

His eyes roamed over the company and landed on Nori. He was sleeping soundly and rolled into his blankets near to where his brother was, looking just as peaceful as the rest of the company. Despite barely knowing him, Thorin already had doubts about Nori’s intentions, which only meant that Dwalin needed to be especially careful about the full extend of their situation to remain hidden for as long as possible.

 

*

The next few days were terrible. Rain poured down on them as if flooding all of Arda was the goal of this. The wizard seemed to be unable to do anything about it, waving off any pleas to make the clouds go away. Bilbo didn’t have a coat, leaving Dwalin to lend him his spare one. The Hobbit nearly drowned in the dark material but at least he stayed dry that way.

It was cold, too, with how wet everything was and how everyone started to shiver as soon as they found any kind of shelter. It got harder to make fires and cook properly, which made everybody miffed.

Through all of it Dwalin kept trying to do something to make Nori feel comfortable, but all any of his offers to give him his coat or blankets or any such thing were met with annoyance and dismissal. Sometimes Nori would let him take care of him, but then it was always in a roundabout way. Like Dwalin offering Ori to help build an additional lean-to for them and their siblings. That way all three had more shelter, though Nori squinted at Dwalin with an amused look before crawling underneath to hide from the rain.

There were things Dwalin could do nothing about.

Like the discomfort Nori sometimes felt, or how he would force down his breakfast and then look too pale afterwards, or how he sometimes would disappear when he was sick.

Or like the distant howling of Wargs they heard one night, and that made everything inside of Dwalin scream that he needed to grab Nori and his axes and run to where it was safe. 

There were the trolls, and a vicious fight in which Dwalin lost sight of anyone he cared for. At least the princesses, Thorin and Balin were all tied up in bags, which meant they could find _some_ way to get them all out of this. Having Nori tied to the slowly turning stake somewhere near him didn’t really make that feel better though. 

It was Bilbo who managed to keep the trolls from eating them long enough for Gandalf to arrive and save them all, and Dwalin even found the time to admire that before he finally got lowered to the ground and stumbled to see whether Nori was well.

He looked pale and dizzy, just like all of them, and Dwalin couldn’t tell how much of the nausea was caused by being spun around over a fire and how much was an indication that something was wrong. But Nori gave him a faint smile and after a few moments of breathing steadily he went to help Ori find their things where the trolls had tossed them. 

There was nothing Dwalin could really do about that, so he turned to help his brother get out of his bag instead.

The trolls had turned to stone as sunlight touched them, and the Dwarves looked at it with some weariness. None of them had seen such a thing before, but it quickly became obvious that the creatures must have had some sort of shelter nearby; as for all their stupidity they must have had something to keep them safe during the day.

The hole in the ground was a bad place, and even Dwalin with his limited knowledge of architecture and construction could tell that much. It was too damp and mouldy, and the ground wasn’t the best, but it certainly was good enough for a shelter or a hiding spot. 

Even from outside the smell of rot and mould was enough to make Dwalin want to stay away, but Thorin went right ahead, and Nori was also one of those who followed, so Dwalin had no choice but to join the party.

Despite its bad impression, the cave actually held some treasures. Deeper, where the light barely reached, Dwalin could make out chests and clutter that seemed to contain interesting objects, as well as rotten flesh, but even right at the entrance the ground was littered by stolen coins and gems and cups encrusted with diamonds.

Precious as it might be, there was no way they could take it with them, and all of it smelled of rot and was soiled by the ground all around them. Dwalin wouldn’t have spared most of it a second look; none of it looked like it had a particularly good craftsmanship, not even judged by what was common among Men, but still there were some deciding to waste time with it.

Gandalf and Thorin were searching through whatever was hidden away further back, but Bofur and Glóin quickly gathered coins and other precious objects into chests and buried them in the ground, so that none who happened to come across the troll hoard would know that there was more to it than what they left lying around. 

Nori was with them, too, always quick to hide coins up his sleeves when he had the opportunity to, breathing shallowly through his mouth and focused enough to ignore the smell and any discomfort of the surroundings. 

Dwalin might have understood why one was tempted to take it, it was enough to make someone rich perhaps, but the company was on their way to Erebor, and the chests weren’t even a fleck of dust compared to what each and everyone of them would have them. He didn’t move to help them in what they did, only leaned on his hammer as they worked on their treasure.

“We’re making a long term deposit,” Bofur told him cheerfully as he noticed the dry look Dwalin was giving the three of them.

He turned back to shoving dirt into their new-made hole, and Nori looked up, meeting Dwalin’s eye with a crooked smile.

“One can never know when you’re out in the wild and need some emergency gold.”

The way he said it was so casual, but Dwalin saw the sad look in his eye and felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

If they failed they would have to run. In one of the worst cased he could imagine Nori would have to run away to avoid imprisonment, or if the quest failed completely and only Nori and he were there with no chance of reaching Erebor or clearing Nori’s record. They’d have to find a way to get by and hidden treasures like the ones they were burying might be just what they’d need.

Dwalin hated how Nori was thinking of such a thing, he hated how Nori always expected to need emergency rations and how it was possible that they might depend on such a thing eventually.

There was little time to dwell on that, as suddenly a wizard appeared out of nowhere, looking hunted and generally not making any sense as he urgently told Gandalf of some great danger.

And then there were Wargs and Orcs and Dwalin killed one of the beasts as it jumped on Thorin and came way too close to Nori at that, and then running and Orcs and endless loops and mad dashes through endless grassland and attempts to outrun Wargs on foot.

There were too many to fight, and all they could do was run and prey and hope that the tattered wizard and his rabbits knew what they were doing and run more and count on the Wargs not noticing them and then more running.

There was no room to think of anything but running, and Dwalin could only spare little thought on anything else, apart from the vague relief of knowing that everyone else was there and looked unharmed, once they finally found some sort of shelter. The raiding party was chased away by Elves, and Dwalin could barely even care for being within their territory now. They were alive, and that was what mattered.

The cave Gandalf had ushered them into led through the rock and towards somewhere safe, apparently, and though it was narrow and not a good place to defend yourself from sudden attacks, the company followed it to the end. It seemed preferable to climbing back up into the grassland and checking whether Elves or Orcs were still near.

Rivendell, the place was called, and it belonged to some Elf Lord Dwalin didn’t want to meet, even if he had saved them in a way. The Dwarves stopped at the edge of steps leading towards the valley before them, bathed in golden light and built into the cliffs by a river. It looked nice and peaceful enough, but even from the distance it simply was too Elvish to possibly be right.

The promise of shelter, help and food was enough to pacify Dwalin, and if Thorin decided to follow Gandalf into this, he would not complain openly. 

Beside him Nori was panting softly, and leaned on his staff harder than anyone. He was too pale again, looking just like the times he did when he felt sick. Nori had always been in good shape, enduring quick running and exhaustion well enough, but combined with the lack of sleep and food and with his condition he couldn’t be well now.

Noticing Dwalin’s concerned look his just waved off, giving Dwalin a quick sign of ‘fine’ before taking another deep breath and scanning the area they would be staying in.

Dwalin clenched his teeth and followed his gaze. The thought of being amongst Elves with his partner and their unborn child set him on edge. He could not trust them, he couldn’t risk them somehow _knowing_. Perhaps they would not notice with a Dwarf, but if it somehow came out… 

Elves did only ever deal with male Dwarves, as far as they knew, and rarely did children ever go where the Elves were as well, so Dwalin did not know what one might even expect. And not knowing only made his mistrust worse.

On the other hand, Gandalf promised shelter and food, and even if they gained just one day of peace and no fear of being killed by Orcs it would be good. _Any_ day Nori wasn’t in danger of getting into a fight was a good one.

There was nothing Dwalin could really do about it, so he made sure to walk as close to Nori as possible, and braced himself for whatever welcome they might receive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the passage of time noticeable? I'm not even sure, I am sorry ;-; 
> 
> Nori is both getting better about sickness and getting towards the time when exhaustion will hit sooner 
> 
> but look at what I didn't include though it happened to Nori:   
> http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/post/77649726406


	6. Chapter 6

Nothing, Dwalin decided, annoyed him quite as much as being inside of an Elvish place. He hadn’t even been there for that long, not even a full day for crying out loud, and already he wished to be back on the road and in the wild, rather than surrounded by the serenity and haughtiness of Elves. 

They had to stay for another fortnight though, something about waiting for the right moon’s light to decipher the map to Erebor’s secret gates. A fortnight of terrible food and hosts that stared at them as if they were all mad and with no proper walls _anywhere_. 

At least it was two weeks of being safe; he had to tell himself over and over. At least it was two weeks of warmth and food for both them and the ponies, which they wouldn’t have to worry about. It would have been better to not be around Elves at all, but those living in Rivendell seemed to be content to leave the Dwarves alone.

It wasn’t the nicest place to be around and Dwalin felt nothing but discomfort when thinking about any of it too hard and he did not trust anyone, but he had stayed under worse conditions before and perhaps it wouldn’t be too bad after all.

There had been some worry about how much the Elves knew of Dwarves and their ways, but none of them seemed to treat any of the company differently from the other. Perhaps they were more polite and even warmer to Bilbo, and they certainly started to avoid some of the louder Dwarves, but none of them seemed to care either way.

The Dwarves contented themselves with leaving the Elves be as well, or at least for the most part. If food was flying all over the place and if furniture was broken down for a fire and a proper meal, then it wasn’t actually harming any of the Elves personally, but just part of what the Dwarves were used to.

The youngest of the company seemed to be too interested in the Elves perhaps. Fíli only watched them with certain wariness while not saying a thing, but Ori and Kíli’s fascination was all too obvious.

“Have you seen their harps? They carved patterns into them so _well_ ” Kíli had whispered excitedly, fumbling at the comb she had used to half-heartedly brush out some tangles out of her hair. 

With how little she used it, it was nearly surprising how pretty the thing looked, but Kíli had always loved to work with wood or thin metal, so nearly all she owned was decorated by her own engraving.

“And the library,” Ori had sighed while fumbling with their now slightly weather-beaten journal. “Do you think they would let me take a look at the books?”

“I hope so! I want to see more of the rooms here, I can’t understand how it’s practical to build like this, but I think it’s nearly pretty in some weird way, you know?”

The two had noticed Dwalin’s hard glare then, and quickly ducked their heads in shame. Nori and Bofur had laughed about that, but Dwalin had only grown more frustrated ever since.

It wasn’t made better by Dwalin finding out that all of the guest rooms provided might be located within the same wing of the buildings, but that each room was quite far from the next. Being separated didn’t make their stay any safer. The rooms were large and spacy, all with at least one wall nearly missing in favour of what Dwalin thought were supposed to be windows, balconies or simply doors leading down to patches of trees or other things, and it wouldn’t have been too uncomfortable to have the entire company stay in only one of these.

They had beds though, and everyone had missed that too much to really care about the strange architecture or interior design. The more suspicious ones, like Glóin and Óin simply decided to share one room, while Balin and Thorin seemed to be used to being hosted in such places and didn’t care at all. 

While everyone else picked out rooms and started to make themselves comfortable for the night, Dwalin paced the halls and glared at everything, trying to somehow ease his mind by making sure everything was safe. No Elf had been anywhere near this part of the house after showing the company where they could stay, but still Dwalin didn’t trust it.

Nori would have joked and told him silly things he noticed about their hosts, but Nori wasn’t there and all of the others Dwalin might have talked to were already in their rooms or busy talking to Gandalf or Lord Elrond. He had tried to look for Nori just to make sure that he had everything he needed in this place, but he saw Dori usher Ori inside one of the rooms and got no chance to ask them where their brother was.

One after one the company members went off to sleep, and eventually Dwalin was left on his own, with nothing to do but to wander the corridors and watch the moonlit trees outside. It was even worse than just doing nothing, and combined with the Elvish architecture and their statues everywhere the night didn’t even calm him anymore. It was impossible to forget where he was like that.

He returned to his room and locked the door. Not that it was a good lock, Dwalin didn’t suppose that there was any sort of Elvish magic involved in that one, and it looked like it was easy enough to break apart. Nori would have picked it easily, but that way would have been quicker. 

Dwalin kicked off his boots and started to remove his heavy vest, placing all of it on his pack and next to his neatly stacked weapons. His room was near cliffs at least, and he could see the rock from the windows. Perhaps it would make it easier to find some peace then.

The furniture was all wrong, the chairs and the little table looked as if they’d break from the slightest touch, and everything solid was made to look as if it was airy and light. There were screens and curtains everywhere, out of nearly translucent white silk, and none of it served any visible purpose, apart from making the room look as if it was filled with silver light from outside.

From behind the wall of silk Dwalin could hear the wind rustling in the treetops and water running, but the sounds that would have been nice any other time seemed to be just another further thing to bother him now.

Grumbling under his breath Dwalin stepped around the bed, glaring at the thing and wondering why the Elves felt the need to wrap everything in so much white and grey. His foot touched something rough and soft, and as he looked down Dwalin noticed a neat pile of clothes half hidden under the bed-sheets that nearly brushed over the floor. A quick glance underneath the bed revealed that there was a weapon belt and a pack starched under there as well, all of Dwarvish make and awfully familiar.

Dwalin stared at it, and then looked around, searching for any place in the room one might hide. There wasn’t one, apart from the bed there was no furniture that would have hidden a Dwarf from view and unless one was to walk out of the doors naked, there was only one other visible way out of the room.

Wide steps lead down from between two pillars, down to a pool carved into the rock. Half of it was smooth and finely cut stones, and about at the middle, where one of the river’s tiny streams fed into it, the rock had been left as it was, high and surrounding all of the area.

Dwalin hadn’t paid the place too much mind before, making sure that the steep rock really offered more shelter than most other places in Rivendell and leaving it at that. The pool had been nice enough as well, but he hadn’t cared for its presence.

Now however, it wasn’t deserted any longer. 

Nori sat with his back turned to Dwalin, looking up at the starry sky. He sat on one of the steps, the water barely reaching up to his waist and his unbound hair had been brushed out until it shone.

He heard Dwalin’s steps and turned slightly to look back at him over his shoulder.

“Took you long enough,” he said, but didn’t move.

Dwalin stared at him, tried to think of a reason to send him away, to not have him around where anyone else would find them together, tried to think of why he shouldn’t walk around with no clothes on where Elves were near, just in case.

It wasn’t easy to think of these when Nori looked so relaxed and beautiful in the moonlight. Why should he send him away, Dwalin wasn’t made of ice after, how was he expected to do that?

And walking back to another room would mean that Nori would pass through uncertain territory on his own.

Really, Dwalin just couldn’t give a damn about what might or might not happen, they were alone, with walls and a locked door between them and anyone else, and that _always_ had been rare enough. Nori was his lover, the bearer of his child; he could just stop worrying and enjoy having him around for once.

Nori’s eyes narrowed in a smile as Dwalin came closer, stopping only when the water was just lapping against his bare feet. 

“You shouldn’t be in this room,” Dwalin said, but his voice was too rough and quiet to be good for anything but to make a grin spread on Nori’s face.

“Why not? Would you take advantage of the poor beautiful young Dwarf maiden bathing in the moonlight?” he teased in a singsong voice.

“I see no such thing here, and you’re nearly the same age as me.”

“This is what you chose to focus on? You don’t think I’m beautiful? Is that how one is supposed to treat their pregnant lover?”

Nori pouted and splashed some water at Dwalin.

Dwalin snorted and let his eyes roam over Nori’s body, all solid and lean muscle, pale with freckles and bruises and cuts here and there. His hair was dark in this light, but the moonlight shining on it made it look even softer and smoother than usual.

“Any more people telling you that and you’ll become completely insufferable,” Dwalin said and took another step closer, now risking soaking his pants in the ankle-deep water.

“Come on, get out of there, you’ll catch a cold.”

The summer night was warm and even the water seemed nice enough so it was a stupid excuse, but Nori watched Dwalin with a smile before turning where he was sitting and getting up.

The water ran in rivulets over Nori’s skin and over his hips and legs as he stood, and Dwalin couldn’t help but follow the drops with his eyes. It had been ages since he had last seen Nori completely naked and the first time he ever noticed the soft swell of his usually flat belly. It wasn’t much, only enough to be there and Dwalin’s eyes widened a little, but then Nori had already splashed across the small distance between them and pressed himself against Dwalin.

“Lets get inside then?” Nori suggested as he wrapped his arms round Dwalin’s waist, soaking the front of his shirt and his trousers at that.

Dwalin grabbed him by the hips and pulled him back into the room. Nori kissed along his jaw and cheeks, humming contently as he was manhandled across the room and onto the bed, and he leaned back to watch as Dwalin quickly worked on his laces and buttons to drop his clothes to the floor carelessly.

When Dwalin climbed onto the bed Nori took hold of his arms, leaning back and pulling Dwalin on top of him and into a kiss, arching up and moaning at the press of their bodies against one another’s.

It’d been a while since they had last had privacy or even a proper bed, and Dwalin both wanted to take advantage of that and take his time to really enjoy the moment. 

He took the opportunity to explore Nori’s body, stroking and kissing over his skin and searching out freshly healed cuts and scars he hadn’t seen the last time they had done this, feeling how Nori moaned at his touches.

Nori was tender all over, after so long of only hasty touches or tumbles out in the open where they needed to be ready to run or pretend that nothing happened. Dwalin felt Nori’s breath hitch as he worked his way down biting along of Nori’s neck and his collarbones.

Nori both complained about the loss of contact as Dwalin shifted down a little, and urged him on at the same time. Dwalin took his time, gently nuzzling against Nori’s skin and sucking and kissing at the softness of his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of forests and smoke that somehow always clung to Nori’s skin, hugging more than actually doing much in terms of getting to the sex.

Nori let him, brushing his finger’s through Dwalin’s hair and stroking what he could reach of his back, digging his short nails into skin when Dwalin bit an especially sensitive spot. He never had lasted long like this, always lacking the patience for cuddles and tenderness if they hadn’t fucked within reasonable time before the event.

Dwalin was just too happy to oblige when Nori tugged at his hair to bring him up for another kiss. This time the kiss was deeper, more biting involved and Nori’s hands tugging and pulling Dwalin even closer, trying to make the kisses more heated where Dwalin would just have stopped at soft and sweet ones. 

Dwalin stroked his hands over Nori’s sides and chest, kneading his flesh and trying to avoid any visible bruises, though Nori might not protest against a little roughness. 

When he reached Nori’s belly Dwalin’s hand stilled. He could feel the curve that hadn’t been there before, so much more noticeable under his palm than when he had just looked at it.

He didn’t get to consider any of it for too long, as Nori grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand lower, until Dwalin’s fingers brushed against his sex and made Nori bite back a gasp.

Nori’s fingers clenched around Dwalin’s wrist as he took the hint and slowly started stroking him, first only teasing and then firmer, until Nori let go and brushed along Dwalin’s arm till his hand was resting against Dwalin’s chest.

Just watching him was entrancing. Seeing how Nori moaned and cried out for him, barely managing to say more than his name and some cut off demands about where Dwalin should be touching him and how. 

His skin was flushed, making a lovely contrast to the pure white sheets and with how his hair was spread all around them it made Dwalin think of other days of snow and both of them drunk and happy and snowflakes sticking to Nori’s lashes as he laughed and complained about the cold. That had been the last time that had had privacy and time to be together for more than a day.

Dwalin made up for that now, watching each twitch on Nori’s face and taking in every tiny movement. Soon he was reaching his peak, his cries growing louder and legs trashing against the blankets uselessly, his hands scratching against Dwalin’s chest and tugging at his hair as Dwalin pushed his fingers deeper, twisted and rubbed and held Nori in place.

The sight nearly made him forgot about his own hardened cock until Nori reached down with one hand to help him get off, uncoordinated as his strokes were.

Dwalin reached down to wrap his hand around Nori’s fingers, pumping a few times as Nori stroked him and then Nori’s fingers slipped off as he arched against Dwalin with a sharp cry, and Dwalin groaned against his shoulder when he finally spilled over their hands.

He held on to Nori as he slowly calmed down, held him so that his heaving breaths didn’t become uncomfortable from Dwalin holding him too tightly. The sheets were all too smooth and light, but they felt good against sensitive and hot skin so that was welcome.

Dwalin wiped his hands on the edge of the sheets, before making himself comfortable at Nori’s side. The room was bright enough to see everything, and he settled back in way that made it easy to see all of Nori. The moonlight made him look softer, like smoothly polished rock, and the soft curve of his hips and belly looked natural, but also more obvious like this.

He still didn’t show much, and perhaps Nori was one of the Dwarves whose children barely made their bellies swell at all. In that case it would be easier to hide. Then again, Dwalin himself was tall and big, as most in his family tended to be, so perhaps his child would be big as well.

One hand on Nori’s hip, Dwalin gently stroked over the skin of his belly, feeling the changes touching with his fingertips and then opening his hand to feel the curve underneath his palm.

It was so _real_ now. He had known it, he had even seen how Nori’s waist looked a little wider from the side, but now it was undeniably there. Something about this moment made it hard to breath.

Nori’s breath had calmed somewhat, and he snuggled closer to Dwalin, ignoring the hands still trying to hold him steady.

“Mhm, up for a round two?” he muttered, while softly patting Dwalin’s abdomen. “Or do you need some time? Should I start without you or can I have your hand again?”

He laughed as he tried to tickle Dwalin, but Dwalin pushed him back down gently, giving him a serious look. Nori’s smile dropped as he saw it, but he relaxed anyway.

He watched Dwalin return to stroking his stomach, then slowly raised his hand to slide his fingers against Dwalin’s.

“It’s strange,” he said, “sometimes I even forget before looking down or moving. And sometimes I just feel it when I lie still like this.”

“I don’t know if I ever even wanted a child.”

Dwalin looked up in worry. Nori had insisted that he wanted it before, but there was a difference between becoming a parent and truly wishing for it.

Nori noticed the worried look and shook his head quickly.

“I just never was in a situation to even _consider_ having one. I never was with anyone I’d want near anyone’s child, much less mine, and then there was you and we couldn’t even have people know that we are lovers.”

“One day,” Dwalin promised, and it was a hope he had had for so long now.

“Perhaps it’s even good that it’s happening now,” Nori mused. “We’ll be in Erebor, and our child will be safe and rich and taken care of.”

He laughed quietly, and petted his stomach.

“You’re just a year too early, little one.”

Dwalin shifted slightly, and then scooted over the bed until his head was leaning against Nori side. It was too early to feel the child, perhaps, but still Dwalin tried to listen.

“A Ri never chooses convenient times.”

“At least my child only has a slim chance of being a Durin blockhead.”

Dwalin growled slightly, but stopped when Nori’s fingers combed through his hair. He enjoyed the sensation for a while, then reached up to take Nori’s wrist and pulled his hand to his mouth to kiss it.

“I hope the child will have your hair.”

Nori snorted.

“If my child has yours, _you_ will be the one to comb out the tangles every day.”

Dwalin’s lips wandered over to Nori’s knuckles as he hummed in agreement.

“I hope it’ll be just like you. In anything but your hands, I do not want my child to have the urge to steal and pick locks. It won’t ever need to.”

“Quick fingers are not just something you’re born with. You’ll see, even with the clumsiest hands I’d teach my baby how to break any lock and lift any purse.”

Now Dwalin growled louder, and lifted his head to glare at Nori, but Nori only laughed and shifted to kiss the bald top of Dwalin’s head.

“It’ll be an honourable child, don’t worry. You’re oozing so much righteousness even _I_ want to turn honest.”

“You’d want that either way, if you had a choice.”

“Perhaps,” Nori allowed and settled back against the pillows.

Dwalin watched him for a while, before wrapping his arms around Nori’s waist. 

“Let us sleep,” he suggested as he nuzzled against Nori’s skin.

“We’ve had a tiring few days and we’ll have a fortnight of using these rooms.”

Nori made an agreeing sound, curling his arms around Dwalin’s shoulders but already looking like he was starting to fall asleep with them not doing anything but talking.

Dwalin smiled a little as he leaned against Nori’s side, listening to the distant murmur of water and the evening of Nori’s breath. For the first time their situation felt truly _real_ and somehow it was also the first time Dwalin was getting nothing but anticipation and joy from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm welcome to a fortnight of Dwalin and Nori conveniently hiding from Elves and the company in nice and comfy places... with horizontal surfaces present. but not always


	7. Chapter 7

Durin’s Day, was what the map said. Durin’s Day would be the day the secret door to Erebor would be revealed, the only day one would be able to find the keyhole and open it. They had so much time left until then.

Nori had been so relaxed in Rivendell, at least when they were alone and no Elves were in sight. He had even been happy in a way, despite all they’d have to deal with soon, and he and Dwalin were together as much as they could, making love in the pool by Dwalin’s room, or fucking against any available surface and testing whether the furniture would endure.

He had looked so haunted when Thorin revealed what the hidden message of the map was, all calmness leaving at once. They had to leave near immediately after that, hastily packing their things and walking out of Rivendell before dawn and unseen by the Elves.

“Durin’s Day,” Nori had hissed at Dwalin. “Less than half a year. That’s when I’m due, we’ll have a month left afterwards, maybe less.”

They hadn’t spoken much after starting to trek up into the Misty Mountains, but the few words were enough. Nori would barely be able to hide his pregnancy for this long. Everything had been more certain when they had counted on reaching Erebor early, of spending the last months inside a mountain.

Now it seemed like they would have to reveal everything before the quest was even over. Perhaps they would reach the area around the Lonely Mountain quite early, but then they would have to stay among Men until it was time. 

Apart from the company knowing of everything, and perhaps even deciding that Nori wasn’t allowed to come along, there would be the very real danger of Tall Folk being around. They’d know that some of the Dwarves were Dams. They’d take Nori for a Dam, if they saw his condition. Having the Men know about these things wasn’t something anyone was ever comfortable with, not knowing how they’d react, but also having a little Dwarfling there? 

They would figure it out when they got there, Dwalin thought, but he hated the new thing on his growing list of things that unnecessarily complicated something that was supposed to be a joyful occasion.

He and Nori were supposed to be married, living together in a union that nobody would question, Nori was supposed to have help from all of Dwalin’s relatives, since there was no bearer among his living kin to give advise, and then Dwalin should be there for him, able to coddle him and take care of anything, and their biggest worry was supposed to be figuring out what sort of cradle would be the best for their child or how exactly they wanted the last few weeks before the birth to go.

It nearly made him angry at this point, that there was so much thrown at them.

The climb up to the path leading through the Misty Mountains was fine, if perhaps a little taxing without any ponies, and Dwalin was glad that the most tiresome parts of the journey would be over before they had an impact on Nori’s health or well-being. He already tired easier as it was, and perhaps only his stamina prevented it from being noticed.

Nori was well liked within the company by now, and Dwalin was glad for it. It would make things easier, hopefully, and in the worst case everyone would already trust Nori enough to believe his reasons, once his pregnancy could no longer be hidden.

The company moved slower, now that they were on foot, but Balin assured them that they would get through the mountains soon enough. The landscape changed from bare rocks to valleys filled with trees and bushes, and most of the time they could even find enough food to leave more of their rations be than they had hoped to.

The ground they slept on wasn’t really comfortable anymore, but Dwalin remembered having it worse, though Nori hated it. Nori usually put his bedroll right next to Dwalin’s now, to make up for the discomfort by being close to him, and apart from the usual teasing nobody bothered with it, and barely anyone seemed to even suspect how there might be something between them.

They were able to take a break, one day, not far from where the path would lead them higher than most things grew and through narrow rocky paths. There was a river winding through the cliffs, with pools and bushes still growing around the area, and there even was room for privacy.

It wouldn’t have been necessary perhaps, if he company was just Dwarves, and ones who knew each other well. But they had Bilbo around, and especially the younger Dwarves preferred to be alone when bathing. 

Kíli and Fíli would disappear together, not after Fíli had to promise to make sure her sister would be fine, and most broke up into their family units to bath, while some remained to watch over the camp until it was their turn.

Nori was one of those who slipped away near immediately, taking a big block of soap and some of his spare clothes. He’d walk furthest, Dwalin knew, as he truly couldn’t have anyone near him while he was bare anymore, except for Dwalin, perhaps. 

After making sure that everything was quiet and that there were enough people staying around the camp, Dwalin gathered his things to go and check on Nori. He had bathed the last time they had come across a pool, early in the morning, but there hadn’t been any way to stay private there, so not everyone had joined in.

Nori had chosen his spot well, and one had to climb past some rocks and through a few bushes to get down to where a few smooth stones formed a natural pool with barely any current disturbing the water.

He had already cleaned himself, it seemed, sitting by the water with his shirt drying on the rocks. Nori’s torso was bare and he was fumbling with something. As Dwalin came closer he noticed that it was the vest Nori usually wore to keep his breasts pressed flat or out of the way, depending on the day and on whether he planed to do much in terms of physical activities. 

Now the material was freshly washed, and he fumbled with the laces with a frown.

“’s everything alright?” Dwalin asked as he sat down by his side.

Nori’s frown deepened.

“My breasts are larger,” he said, and he sounded offended by his body daring to do such a thing.

Dwalin’s gaze flickered down. Nori’s breasts weren’t big, as far as they went, but then Nori was small and lean as well. They had been small and Dwalin’s palms could easily cover them, though now they did look noticeably bigger.

“Isn’t that normal? When bearing?”

Nori nodded and clutched his vest in anger.

“It is. And it shouldn’t be a problem to hide, and perhaps our dear strangers won’t even notice or recognize it for what it is, should all fail. But now they’re also so damn _sensitive_!”

Dwalin didn’t know what to say to that, and Nori looked so annoyed at this happening. He wasn’t entirely sure how this was a bad thing, but if it caused Nori discomfort it couldn’t be good.

He awkwardly petted Nori’s shoulder, trying to think of something to say that would actually be appropriate and not annoy Nori any further.

“It’ll be fine…”

Nori glanced at Dwalin from the corner of his eyes, lips twitching into a smile.

“Do you like it like that though?”

“What…”

“My breasts~ Nice and round and they’re likely to get bigger. Wouldn’t you like to touch them, while they’re like that and all tender?” 

Nori’s hands came up to cup his breasts gently, and he let out a moan, of which Dwalin couldn’t tell whether it was real or just done to tease him, but he still felt his face heat up and blood shoot down towards his groin.

“You stop that!” he hissed and grabbed Nori’s wrists to prevent him from fondling himself any further.

Nori gave him a wolfish smile.

“Why, we have some time here, don’t you want to?”

Dwalin glanced down at Nori’s bare skin and then up again, gritting his teeth and trying to cling to his irritation and ignore how he wouldn’t mind doing things to Nori at all.

“Not _now_ , Mahal’s sake Nori you’re insufferable!”

Nori opened his mouth to reply to that, but a barely audible rustle startled both of them. 

Dwalin’s head snapped around and up to where he had come from, seeing nothing but rock and shrubs before his eyes zeroed in on Bilbo.

The Hobbit was just pushing past the bushes, clutching a towel and threads in his hands. He was looking at the uneven ground but then he looked up, eyes widening as he saw Dwalin and Nori sitting by the river.

Behind him Dwalin felt the soft hiss of Nori’s cursing and then he pressed against him, hiding behind Dwalin’s broad back. Dwalin’s fists clenched and his first instinct was to jump up and go for Bilbo, but Nori was hiding behind him so Dwalin leaned back, trying to make sure that Bilbo could not see him at all. It was too late for that, but perhaps not entirely.

Bilbo’s eyes flicked between Dwalin and Nori, and then he turned on his heel and dashed away.

“Mahal’s balls,” Nori hissed as soon as he was out of sight, scrambling to put his vest and his shirt back on.

Dwalin tensed, unsure what to do of the options he had. They had grown too damn careless in Rivendell, they should have expected this, and now they had risked too much… Eventually Dwalin just cursed under his breath and turned to hold Nori’s shoulders.

“Fucking careless,” Nori cursed but stilled under Dwalin’s hands.

“I will see that he won’t talk,” Dwalin promised, and Nori looked up, searching his face before nodding.

“You think he saw?”

It was too late to keep Bilbo from suspecting that there was something going on, but now it was important to figure out just how much of Nori’s bare upper body he had seen. _This_ was why Dwalin had hated to have an outsider in the company. At least it was just _one_ of them he’d seen, perhaps Bilbo wouldn’t suspect…

Dwalin wrapped his hands around Nori’s and looked back over his shoulder to where Bilbo had stood.

“I will make sure that he’ll keep anything to himself,” he promised and got up, holding on to Nori’s hands for as long as possible.

“I won’t let such a thing endanger you in any way.”

Dwalin looked at Nori’s belly and then at his face. His eyes were hard and serious but he nodded.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he warned, but Dwalin knew what he could and couldn’t do.

It might be a danger to _everyone_ if the company members’ genders were revealed, but Bilbo wouldn’t do much alone. He couldn’t, even if Hobbits turned out to be weird about these things.

Dwalin walked back to the camp, searching for a trace of the Hobbit. The few who had remained around the fireplace were idly lying around or talking, but Bilbo was standing at the edge, between some rocks and still a bit away, watching the Dwarves with a worried look on his face.

He noticed Dwalin approach, as he hadn’t even attempted to walk quietly, and he paled at the thunderous expression on Dwalin’s face.

Bilbo wanted to say something, he took a step back but then Dwalin was in front of him, grabbing his collar.

“What did you see?” Dwalin growled, trying to both look as intimidating as possible and not actually threaten or even hurt the Hobbit. He hadn’t _done_ anything after all, even if he could have easily ruined everything.

Bilbo didn’t seem afraid at least, just startled and he shook his head frantically.

“I don’t know whether this is a secret or- or if everyone… I promise I won’t speak of this. Whatever you and Nori are doing, it’s no business of mine, it’s certainly not something I should be speculating about, right?”

He smiled nervously but Dwalin squinted down at him so he went on.

“I _swear_ I won’t tell about this. Whatever that was, a relationship or... I won’t speak to Nori’s brothers or to yours, you’ve got nothing to worry about!”

Dwalin stared down on him, searching.

“That’s all you saw? You won’t say anything.”

Bilbo’s face was open and honest, and there seemed to be no trace of a lie in it. Perhaps that truly was all he had seen, perhaps he had only registered that Nori was just _there_ with Dwalin.

Dwalin grunted and let go of him, taking a step back.

“Good.”

He gestured at Bilbo’s shirt awkwardly.

“Sorry. About this, I had to make sure… Not everyone would have promised, I did not mean to be this rough…”

Bilbo relaxed slightly and he raised his hands, waving it off.

“You have nothing to worry about, I swear it!”

Dwalin gave him one last hard look, but though Bilbo twitched nervously as he smiled, he didn’t seem to be lying. Nori would have been better at telling this, but Dwalin decided to trust his instinct.

“Fine,” he said, before turning back to the camp and leaving Bilbo standing by the rock.

They had food very soon after and when Nori finally returned he flopped down at Dwalin’s side.

“Everything fine?” he whispered, looking over to where Bilbo was resolutely not looking their direction.

“I think he didn’t see anything,” Dwalin replied while staring into his bowl.

There was no way to prove it of course, no way to tell whether Bilbo knew or whether he would decide to speak to anyone about it. Who would he tell though? 

Nori was still tense as he watched the camp carefully, but then he slumped with a resigned little groan.

“Can’t be helped,” he muttered, “at least our proper little Hobbit would be too scandalized by people chatting about another’s affairs to go talking about us.”

Dwalin nodded, even if he didn’t know enough about Hobbits to really know any better. If Nori decided that this wasn’t something worth worrying about, he would try to follow his example.

With one last glance at the Hobbit Dwalin pushed the thoughts away, trying to only think of how they’d be through the mountains and on easier terrain soon. By his side Nori leaned his shoulder against his, and the grounding effect it had reassured Dwalin just enough.

The shock of coming this close to an end sat deep in him, and Dwalin stared at his food, trying to sort out his thoughts. If they had been discovered all would have been over. Nori would have been sent back to Ered Luin in chains, and it wasn’t too far away yet, and perhaps his siblings would have gone as well. 

“There’s still time to turn back to Rivendell,” Dwalin whispered softly. 

Nori gave him a questioning look.

“Why would we?”

“These Elves are terribly stuck-up, but they would not care for the affairs of Dwarves and they _would_ extend their hospitality and protection for just one.”

Everything in Dwalin revolted at what he was saying, but he _needed_ to think of everything that would protect Nori.

“You could wait there until winter, give birth to our child and everything would be fine. We can come up with some excuse, and by the time I get back to fetch you, I might even have the authority to make everything work…”

“No”, Nori’s eyes were cold at that.

“I won’t leave you or the company. I _won’t_ have my child in that place!”

“What if they find out?”

“Dwalin, you promised me to take me to Erebor! I can do better than this, one tiny Hobbit stumbling in at the wrong time is no sign of failure!”

His fingers curled around Dwalin’s arm and he looked lost again.

“Please, I just ask you to keep going, please! Please don’t leave me on my own.”

The fear in Nori’s voice made Dwalin’s heart clench, and he wrapped his arm around Nori’s.

“I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t even think of it if I had a choice. We will reach Erebor, I promise.”

Nori smiled and made a soft sigh of relief, before turning back to his food.

“Thank you.”

Dwalin watched him, and spoke a silent prayer to Mahal to not harm or tear apart their little family before it even came into existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm, careless careless
> 
> I'm not sure whether that'll actually happen yet, but Dwalin is referring to everyone by their preferred pronouns in his head, but if there's a stranger around they'll speak of each other as if all of them were male. Which is both part of their on-road disguise, and partly because they don't trust strangers right away


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori panicking after a very stressful chain of events in this one

Stones were not supposed to move. Rock was meant to be solid and secure, mountains held you safe no matter what, even in storms and with the ground wet enough to make somebody with a lighter step run in danger of slipping.

Mountains were not meant to move and shake underneath your feet, they were not meant to throw you off.

Dwalin had heard little stories of the creatures of the Misty Mountains, and most of them only when he was a Dwarfling. He had never believed that they were true anyway. 

He _had_ to believe in Storm Giants when they were just about to smash them with rocks during their fights. The company had little they could do against that, but cling to one another and what few rocks were _not_ moving while trying to keep their balance on slippery rock.

Thorin screamed for them to run and try to make for solid ground, but that was easier said than done, and Dwalin could only try and keep his hands on whoever was closest, doing his best to keep Ori and Bilbo close and on the path.

It was near impossible to see through the curtain of rain and the disorienting flashes of lightning. But it was still possible to make it, they just had to focus on the one running before them, they should get to where the rock was actual real and not a leg of some creature that wasn’t supposed to exist if they tried.

Dwalin barely heard the screams and the shouting when the ground underneath his feet lurched and the giant leg they had climbed on started moving. The giant made a step, swinging half the company away from the rest. Dwalin felt the wind pulling at his clothes, felt how everyone was clinging to one another and screaming and he couldn’t do a thing.

He could barely make out Thorin on the path, running and leading everyone along to follow the company that had separated, yelling something, perhaps instructions or just a simple ‘hold on’ but Dwalin couldn’t hear through the crashing and the noises around them. 

It was disorienting and yet Dwalin somehow managed to keep the presence of mind to simply focus on surviving, on managing to keep track of all beside him, of seeing how Fíli didn’t need help to cling, or how Bombur, Bofur and Bilbo huddled together as the wind and the rain whistled past them, and how Ori didn’t need him to hold them, and managed to press their body against a jut to keep some balance.

Somewhere Dwalin knew Thorin was still shouting in worry, and he saw the pale flash of Nori’s face before their giant was hit and fell towards the mountainside. 

Somehow they managed to not be smashed between giant and rocks, and apart from a nasty shock none seemed to be hurt. The worst that happened was Bilbo not quite landing on the path, and Thorin managed to pull him up. 

They were exhausted and frightened and Thorin snapping at everyone showed that all too well. Dwalin held his beaten side and let the princesses and Thorin lead the way to the nearest cave, ignoring the moaning and muttering from everyone else. The giants were still behind them and the rain showed no signs of getting slower so they needed shelter, and soon.

The path was too narrow for anyone to push past the one walking before them, but as soon as they found a cave and managed to walk about freely everyone hurried to make sure that their family was well. 

Dwalin’s first instinct was to check the cave, but there seemed to be no other way out of it. When he returned from his short round, Nori had pushed past the others and wrapped Ori into his arms.

The siblings stood together, Ori whispering something with a reassuring smile as Nori held them tight, pressing his face to the side of Ori’s head. It had been a shock to stand on a moving giant, but Dwalin couldn’t really imagine what it must have been like to just _watch_ as so many he cared about were thrown around.

He felt so helpless about things these days; he couldn’t imagine how it would be to actually have a tangible danger he couldn’t do anything against.

Nori looked past Ori, straight into Dwalin’s eyes, his own wide in terror but he only pressed Ori closer as he stared. 

Dwalin opened his mouth, wanted to walk over to Nori and make sure that he was fine, tell him that nothing bad had happened after all so everything should be fine. He couldn’t really do that though, and then Dori was at his siblings’ side, wrapping them into his arms with Ori protesting weakly and Nori subtly edging his body away from where the three were pressed together. 

The presence of both his siblings seemed to calm Nori though, and eventually Dwalin just turned away to lie out his bedroll close to them. He wanted to make sure that his partner was fine, but his family had already done that for him. It would be enough until the next time they actually had the opportunity to be close to one another.

They were all too tired to really do much, even if they still were wet and hungry. It was probably for the best to sleep and try to get through the Misty Mountains quickly and with no further incident the next day.

Dwalin could fall asleep anywhere really, but he made sure that Nori was lying still and that he actually managed to doze off before letting himself rest as well.

*

When things weren’t going well, _all_ things tended to go wrong at once. Dwalin had never known why this happened so often, but he remembered being angry about it before, when the company was woken by a shout and a jerking of the floor, until everyone was tumbling down into the deep.

There was little time to even snap out of the confusion to take in the new surroundings, there wasn’t even enough time to grab the nearest weapons. It still left Dwalin with his fists and knuckledusters, but in such a situation he wished for his axes.

It was dark in the caverns they had fallen into, and too hot with countless fires being the sole source of light. Before Dwalin could sit up and check whether he was unharmed apart from some bruises, whether _everyone_ was, there was a shout of warning and a wave of ugly little creatures was upon them.

Goblins were small and weak and cowardly and easy enough to defeat, usually, but not if you happened to be in their domain, and not in such masses. 

Dwalin roared and kicked and punched and it even worked out, it would have worked if there were fewer Goblins, if each little push didn’t get countered by two more of the creatures grabbing at his arms.

They were pulled along, dragged over narrow bridges and all around him Dwalin could see how the company struggled to no avail, trying to fight, to get free, to get to where the rest of their families were.

Out of the corner of his eye Dwalin could see Nori fighting against two Goblins shoving him along, and roughhousing him along with the rest. There was nowhere to go really, Dwalin could barely even get free himself, but in a desperate attempt he threw himself around, pushing back and trying to fight his way through to Nori.

If he just had him and could hold him close it would be better, he could _try_ to shield him from anything.

The Goblins eased their pushing, perhaps out of surprise that Dwalin changed directions, and Nori was so close, so close and weakly trying to get past the Goblins between them but then they could not reach across the distance, and a few moments later the opportunity had passed and they were dragged apart and before the largest and fattest Goblin Dwalin had ever seen.

Dwalin was tense all over, in the little time they spent there, surrounded by Goblins and listening to the mockery of their leader. He knew the stories; he knew how unlikely it was to get out of this unharmed or even alive, now that they were already captured, now that these creatures knew who Thorin was.

What could he even do about any of this? If they’d decide to torture Thorin before killing him, there’d be little Dwalin could do. There were the princesses he needed to shield and protect, and he prayed they would not let show who they were, that they would not be recognized as the King’s heirs.

There was Ori, who looked young and vulnerable and of course the Goblins would know to hurt prisoners by doing harm to their youngest.

And Nori. Nori who wasn’t supposed to be here, Nori who needed safety and peace for until after their child was born. 

Dwalin couldn’t even bear to _think_ of what would happen to their child.

The wizard was their salvation, giving them the chance to take up arms and run, just run and fight and have a chance to cut their way through the mass of Goblins, and even if it was still too much to fight off completely it was _enough_ to get out.

Nori was beside him nearly the entire time, looking grim and determined but pushing on, knives dancing through the air and sinking into the backs of any Goblin that came into his reach.

It was enough and they could make it and Dwalin focused on nothing but the way out, the way that would lead them to safety and that would mean that his kin and his partner and child would be just fine.

It would be alright, it had to work, and even as the Great Goblin blocked their path, they still pushed on, and Gandalf slayed him easily enough, and they could make it, even when the ground dropped underneath Dwalin’s feet once again, and as they crashed down through Goblin Town on a broken bit of bridge. 

He could still fight his way out, when too much rotten but still heavy wood pressed down on his ribs, he could still walk and help Nori stand once he found him trying to climb down the rubble.

They ran and then they were out, out of the mountains, out of the caves and in the sunlight, and how much time had even passed, Dwalin couldn’t tell but they were _safe_ and he didn’t care for anything beyond that.

Dwalin still felt the high of danger in his body as they stood between the trees, catching their breaths and looking for damage. He barely heard anything of what was being said; saw how everyone was looking for the Hobbit, and how Bilbo appeared out of nowhere.

Nori seemed fine, and Dwalin knew he would need to hold him later, to make sure that everything was fine and to calm down further, once he himself had calmed enough to trust his hands again.

The well-deserved respite didn’t happen, and neither did Dwalin get enough time to sort out his thoughts, as the howling of Wargs had the company running once more.

They ran and there was nowhere to go, they were on cliffs, with no way down, or if there was, they would not manage to make the descend with Wargs snapping at their heels.

In the trees they would be trapped, but at least they would be out of reach and so they climbed, and Nori was by Dwalin’s side again, hanging in the branches and the whites visible in his too wide eyes.

They held on to the trees and they jumped when the Wargs managed to break it and bring it to fall. Dwalin barely registered what he was doing anymore, he felt the pain of branches hitting against his ribs when he tried to jump, he remembered throwing burning pinecones down at the beasts, he remembered the panic when the last tree started to fall and just barely remained rooted to the ground.

Then there was Thorin, foolish and stubborn Thorin running towards the enemy as the fire licked too close to the tree’s trunk, and Dwalin could do little but try and get to him, get between him and the Warg’s snapping teeth and the Orcs trying to kill him, but the branches broke under his weight when he tried to get up and towards him.

All around him there was the roaring and the screaming and he couldn’t even tell whether it was the Dwarves yelling in their helplessness or the Orcs, and when Bilbo stepped in front of Thorin, it was only a matter of moments until they _finally_ managed to get to the ground, Dwalin smashing his hammer against the Orcs and Fíli right behind him, and there was still yells coming from the burning tree.

They wouldn’t have made it, they would have been slain by the Orcs, there were just too many and they had Wargs and the Dwarves were tired, and it was only the giant Eagles coming out of nowhere that got them out of this alive. 

There had been so much wrongness that night, and Dwalin supposed that clinging to the back of an Eagle was the least of these. He still clung tightly and only dared to glance around to make sure that every other member of the company was present among them. Thorin wasn’t moving, where he hung in the talons of the bird, but everyone else seemed to be well.

The relief of having Thorin be unharmed, and the realization that Bilbo was by far more courageous than they had all assumed, and the first view on the Lonely Mountain in the distance nearly made all of what had transpired seem unreal.

Dwalin felt the pain of countless bruises and scrapes all over his body, and an ache in his shoulders from all the climbing and clinging, but he felt good. A little dizzy with exhaustion but that was all right, he’d get to rest soon enough.

Part of him worried for the company, and for Thorin. He did survive being chewed on by a Warg after all, but he was standing and walking and making his way down from the Carrock steadily just like anyone else.

Nori was silent, but his pace wasn’t slower than anyone else’s, and he even looked less dishevelled than some of the others. Dwalin would have to make sure, of course, but for now it eased his mind to see him unharmed.

Gandalf told them something about somebody he knew, and who might offer them shelter and host them for a little while, but there was time to rest still.

The bottom of the Carrock was near a river and forests, a peaceful little spot to rest and take care of their injuries. It would be fine to just take a moment after what they had just survived. 

Dwalin watched how Bofur and Kíli stumbled towards the river to drink and wash off some of the filth on their clothes, he saw how Balin was talking to Gandalf and how Óin went to make sure that Thorin didn’t need help beyond what the wizard had done. 

Bilbo and Bombur found a patch of grass to rest on, both of them falling asleep near immediately, and Bifur perched close to them, staring at the ground wide-eyed and fondling his weapon.

Dwalin looked around, and clutched his hammer, tried to decide what to do. He had fought hard and deserved a rest, but he shouldn’t let his guard down completely. 

He chose a spot underneath the shade of a young tree and leaned against the trunk, letting himself just sit motionlessly for a few moments. Then he lay out his weapons within reach and dug through his pockets to see what he hadn’t lost through the trip through the Misty Mountains.

Once his weapons were clean and cared for he would rest, just for a while, and then it wouldn’t be long until they all could truly take a break after all of this.

The routine of checking his axes for damage was relaxing, it calmed more than anything and part of Dwalin knew that this probably wasn’t the best thing to be comforted by. It helped though, and what did he care for what it said about him.

Somewhere nearer to the river Dori and Ori whispered to one another, both looking worried. Dwalin watched how they looked around before Dori shook his head and walked over to where most others were dozing, and then set to mend his clothes.

Ori didn’t move for a while, before slowly walking towards where Dwalin was sitting. They had their bottom lip sucked in and they were frowning, looking around and then finally focusing on Dwalin.

“Everything all right?” Dwalin asked when it became obvious that Ori wouldn’t go away or sit down or even say something first.

“Nori isn’t here,” Ori started, worry obvious on their face. “He said that he was fine and just needed a bath, but he didn’t _seem_ fine and now I don’t know where he is. We won’t stay here for too long, he needs to be back before we leave, or we won’t reach that house Gandalf mentioned.”

Dwalin looked around at that, realizing that he really hadn’t seen Nori. He had seemed fine, but Nori was so good at hiding it when he was in pain or distress, and the more the better. 

He groaned, cursing himself for forgetting something that important, for not going to care for his lover as soon as they were out of immediate danger.

“I’ll go look for him,” Dwalin promised, and gave Ori a smile that he hoped was reassuring, and judging by the look on their face he hadn’t succeeded.

But the scribe seemed to at least me content with the knowledge of Dwalin searching for Nori, and they sat down to rest while Dwalin gathered his things and went to find his thief.

He didn’t really know where to look, but Dwalin assumed that Nori would be by the river, and somewhere private, a place as sheltered as possible and one where he’d notice others as soon as possible.

Perhaps he just needed time for himself, but he’d have to wait for that for a while, until the company was somewhere truly safe.

Dwalin tracked Nori down eventually, near the river, as he had suspected, and half hidden between tall ferns and grass.

Nori was hunched over, his face hidden in his hands and he was trembling.

Dwalin sat down next to him, gently brushing his hand over Nori’s shoulders and waiting for some explanation, or anything Nori might want to talk about. He didn’t get it.

“Are you feeling sick again? Do you need food or water, or medicine?”

Nori’s shaking got harder, and Dwalin realized that he was _crying_.

“Nori,” he chocked out, afraid of what might have caused such a thing. Nori rarely cried, and barely ever this hard.

Nori didn’t move for a few seconds, before he looked up at Dwalin, eyes bloodshot and cheeks wet from tears.

“I nearly... nearly lost…” he whimpered, “I was nearly left all on my own.”

He coughed, and then stared crying, his sobs each feeling like a stab to Dwalin’s heart.

“Nori!” Dwalin grabbed him and turned him to face him, as Nori’s fingers reached up and curled around the front of his shirt. “Nori, what did you loose? You’re not alone, you won’t ever be alone.”

Nori gave him a weak shake at that, eyes flashing angrily. It wasn’t very impressive, though it could be, but not when his face was all red and puffy.

“Of course I will! You _all_ nearly died, for fuck’s sake! Mahal, you bastard could have died so many times, so many, and each time I couldn’t do a thing!”

Dwalin tried to hold Nori as his body shook, but Nori tried to push him away and cling harder at once and just shook his head violently.

“You were nearly crushed before my eyes! You nearly fell of that fucking tree and you didn’t even care, you didn’t even…”

Nori made a feeble attempt to wipe his face dry, but his tears just rolled over his cheeks again.

“In Goblin Town, we all nearly died, and you were right at the front… And then Dori and Ori… Ori nearly… I nearly lost my entire family because their branch broke, and they were just _hanging_ there and I couldn’t even _reach_ them!”

Dwalin couldn’t remember that, but he hadn’t really looked out for what had been going on with the company, had he. If Nori had been stuck watching Dori and Ori hanging over the valley, he wouldn’t have seen, and he could imagine how that had felt like.

“I though you’d die, I thought _I_ die, and then I got crushed by that rotten Goblin and I thought I’d be crushed to death, I could barely move my body before I found a way, I don’t know how I survived, but I didn’t even hope, I thought I’d die from fear if not from that.”

Dwalin felt his insides freeze over as he listened to Nori wailing and shaking and barely keeping himself together at all. Crushed? He hadn’t even noticed, he hadn’t known, he could have failed to protect Nori by just being careless, he’d have lost his lover, he would have lost…

“Nori,” Dwalin whispered, gently but firmly pulling Nori closer. “How… how badly are you hurt? What happened to…”

Nori pulled away slightly, biting his lip and then he started pushing his shirt up, to reveal his torso.

The first thing Dwalin saw were the bruises. Already Nori’s pale skin was covered by dark red and purple patches, all over his ribs and back, and there probably was more, but Nori’s vest was hiding it, and he hadn’t taken off his shirt entirely.

Dwalin’s cry of distress wasn’t voluntarily, and he reached out just to pull his hand back sharply.

“ _Nori_ …”

“’s fine,” Nori managed a laugh. “No cracked bones, but it’s too high, just my ribs really, nothing happened to the tiny one.”

His laugh twisted into a grimace and he let go of his shirt, before bending over and curling his arms around his belly.

“But it _could_ have!”

He started crying again, and Dwalin leaned over him, trying to hold him as tightly as he dared with his wounds. At least now Nori sounded relieved, even if he still was too distressed for Dwalin to bear.

“It didn’t,” he said, burying his face in Nori’s hair and rocking back and forth gently.

“Everything is fine, I’m here, your siblings are unharmed and you’re not alone.”

“I couldn’t have protected my own child! I would have crumbled right there if you had died, I _can’t_ do this alone, I really can’t. I’m terrible at this.”

“You’re not!” Dwalin said sharply, and held Nori tighter for comfort. “There’s _nobody_ who’d do better in this than you.”

“I can’t go on like this,” Nori sobbed, ignoring what Dwalin had said. “I’m so afraid, I’m sick of it, I can’t bear thinking of how everyone could have disappeared in just one night.”

He pulled away from Dwalin’s hold but turned to be able to cling to him instead. Nori’s shoulders had stopped shaking and he nuzzled against Dwalin, taking deep breaths.

“We are here,” Dwalin promised “we won’t leave, the worst is behind. I promised I’ll protect you, and I _will_ you won’t go through anything alone.”

Nori had calmed somewhat, and he curled against Dwalin, as if he could hide from the world in his arms.

Dwalin would gladly be the shelter Nori needed, but he couldn’t here, not with how little time they had.

“The company will travel on soon,” Dwalin told him, and Nori nodded, clinging tighter.

He took a few moments to stay where he was, before pulling away and getting out of his clothes for a wash in the river.

Dwalin took care of Nori’s things as he did so, trying to clean them of the worst of the dirt, while Nori tore off some leaves to scrub at his skin. Dwalin would sneak a glance ever so often, at how Nori was moving a little stiffly, at how his hands would stop over his belly every few minutes, as if he was trying to reassure himself that all was still as it should be. His bruises didn’t look as bad as before, when Dwalin had only seen a part of his skin, but they still were terrible to think off.

When all was as clean as it would get, Dwalin helped Nori dress again, rubbing at his sore muscles soothingly and wishing for more time. Later, he promised himself.

The water was nearly uncomfortably cold and Nori did his best to wash his face with it, until no trace of his tears was left and nobody would notice that he had wept.

“Lets go,” he muttered, and leaned against Dwalin’s side as they slowly made their way back to the camp. Crying had left him even more tired than he had been already, and Dwalin wrapped one arm around his shoulders to support him as well as he could.

“We shouldn’t,” Nori said, as Dwalin still hadn’t removed his arm when they could already hear everyone’s voice.

“They’ll just think that you’re too tired,” Dwalin replied, for once not giving a damn about what the others thought.

Nori didn’t argue it, and as they walked towards the others Dwalin could feel the frustration inside of him growing. He shouldn’t be doing this, he should be there to carry Nori if he was tired, to coddle him and make sure that he was as comfortable as possible, he shouldn’t worry about whether such a simple thing as supporting him while walking wasn’t already too much.

There was nothing he could do but try to ignore the bitterness he felt at that. Mahal had gifted him with the best Dwarf he could have ever wished for, and a child at that, and so far there had only been more pain coming from trying to keep both. It was worth it, of course, but perhaps wishing for things to be different was still in Dwalin’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad about this chapter, both because of the events and because I'm unsure about it T^T   
> I do promise cuddles and rest for the next one


	9. Chapter 9

The eremite’s house, which Gandalf had led them to, was a strange place. Dwalin hadn’t dealt with Men often, but even he could tell that the place what not something that would be usual for a Man. Everything was larger than in the villages of Men he had been to, and the animals roaming freely outside and inside the hall had a behaviour that was too intelligent for them to be normal as well.

The host himself was both suspicious of Dwarves, and much warmer and friendlier than the Elves had been. Which wasn’t hard to achieve, but Beorn talked to them and served them food and kept questioning their journey and he was talking to Gandalf and even Bilbo as if they were good friends of his. 

Dwalin would have treated him as any Man, but he was different, in his behaviour and his appearance as well. A bear, Gandalf had explained when he had told them of their host’s rules regarding meat and hunting on his lands. There was something animalistic about him, which left Dwalin with no doubt in Gandalf’s words. 

He didn’t know how to feel about it. When finally all Dwarves had gathered in the hall, and Beorn told his strange dogs to set the table for his guests, Nori was still leaning against Dwalin’s side, tired and weak from the exhaustion and the shock. 

At first Beorn had paid them no more mind than any other, busier with overlooking the animals and speaking to Gandalf and Thorin. He had looked at the Dwarves, taken them in and lingered longer at the taller ones and those who were more obviously the warriors of the group.

Dwalin watched him as well, a little wary as he wrapped an arm around Nori’s waist to keep him closer. None of the company had commented on that, and in an uncertain situation as this one he didn’t care at all.

Beorn stood tall in his hall, as the Dwarves started to carry their remaining belongings to the sides of the house, and where the floor was covered with hey and cattle stood and watched. Then he looked up, his nostrils flaring slightly as he sniffed the air, and he looked over the Dwarves, slowly, before turning his head towards where Dwalin and Nori stood a little aside.

Dwalin’s heart sank when he realized that Beorn was looking straight at Nori, not averting his eyes after a few moments, like he had with the others. He sniffed again, and glanced at Nori’s stomach, then at how he was standing.

Some animals could tell, Dwalin had heard of that, but did such ability extend to skinchangers? If they weren’t in their animal shape, at least.

Beorn’s brows moved into a frown and Nori hadn’t noticed the attention he was given yet, busy examining the house, and apart from Dwalin no one seemed to see where the skinchanger was looking.

Then Beorn turned to Gandalf and to Thorin again.

“Your company is small,” he said in his deep rumbling voice. “Many of yours are young, and old even for your kind, or do not look like anyone would have chosen them for slaying Orcs and Goblins. No company of Men would have let them join or considered them suitable in their condition. Why is it that you allowed this?”

Thorin bristled slightly, but apart from one hard glare he did not tell Beorn off for the insult.

“Each and every Dwarf in my company is worth more than any group the Men might have assembled. Our youngest are old _enough_ , and I assure you, we have nobody who is too weak. We are not fooled by how strong somebody _seems_ to be. And no member of my company is unsuitable for the journey.”

As Thorin spoke Dwalin pulled Nori closer, doing his best to not let his tenseness show. Nori only melted into the touch, tired and grateful for the comfort, but he had not noticed Beorn’s _look_ , so he wouldn’t even understand why Dwalin was getting nervous.

“I meant no insult, I was merely curious.”

Beorn looked as if he wanted to add something else, but he glanced back to Dwalin and Nori. He watched them for a while, though this time he focused on Dwalin, and his wide eyes and tense shoulders, and how he was curling his arm around Nori and subtly turned so that he was shielding him from view, if even just a little bit.

Finally he turned away, gesturing to the table.

“Come eat now, I have nuts and cream and honey for you, you all look as if you need strength after your adventures. And soon you’ll have warm dishes as well.”

Dwalin let out a relived breath, and at Nori’s questioning look he just shook his head and gently nudged him towards the food.

It was so _good_ to have as much fresh food as Beorn offered them, and certainly better than anything the Elves had ever given them. It was a little unsettling to be served by animals, and the company was too tired to get loud, and perhaps everyone had a little too much respect for their tall host who could turn into a giant bear at will.

Nori was tucked against Dwalin’s side, tearing into a slice of bread with a generous honey coating and accepting everything Dwalin pushed his way. 

Beorn mostly contented himself with sitting at the head of the table and talking to Gandalf and Bilbo, though sometimes he stood up to serve them more dishes or drink, at the times when the sheep and dogs were busy or away in the kitchen. 

He left Nori be, mercifully, and did not hint at anything he might have noticed. The one thing that made Dwalin tense up again was when Beorn stood to serve them drink, and filled Nori’s oversized jug up with milk.

“You need to get some meet on your bones. Gather strength,” Beorn explained, eyes lingering on the back of Nori’s head before moving over to Bilbo.

Nori didn’t notice anything off about that, just tried to lift the cup without spilling, while Dwalin was both tense and grateful for it. They all needed more food now, but especially Nori, and the journey rations might grow too little for him eventually.

They ate until they were full, mostly nuts and cream, but the dogs brought them fresh bread and sweet little nut cakes, crispy with a coating of sugar and still steaming from the oven, and milk with a strange fruity taste to it, and cool berries crushed into more cream.

Nori’s face regained some of its colour as the evening went on and as he tried some of everything, and the company looked truly relaxed for the first time since before the storm had started.

It wasn’t that late yet, but they had not gotten any proper sleep for two nights in a row and the days had been ridiculously taxing at that. Beorn bade the sheep to bring everyone blankets and whatever they might need for the night, and then everyone went to find a good spot to sleep. 

They were offered space anywhere in the hall, but mostly where the floor was covered in straw and the cattle stood, or further back, where there were more stables, and in any of the few separate rooms.

Most of the company chose to remain near to each other, though Fíli and Kíli walked away towards a place where they’d have their own corner, and Bifur wandered off towards the sheep, so his cousins followed him.

Using the opportunity Dwalin pulled Nori along to look for the most private place he could manage to find. It turned out to be the far corner of one of the stables, past a few cows watching them with far too clever eyes, towards where hey was stacked, and up a sturdy looking ladder to more hay, and a loft with even more hay.

It was nice though, and there was enough space to not get anywhere near the edge, and with the thick woollen blankets they had been given the prickly hay didn’t even bother them.

Nori let out a deep shuddering sigh when they finally spread the sheets, and he let himself fall onto the makeshift bed, curling on his side and closing his eyes.

“I really needed that,” he mumbled. “Proper _soft_ bed, if even just for one night.

He weakly kicked at the heels of his boots, until Dwalin sat down and removed them for him.

“We all needed it,” Dwalin said, as he gently rubbed Nori’s ankles.

It earned him a purr and Nori cracked an eye open.

“There’s more I need,” he leered, once Dwalin had spent enough time at it. Nori shifted on the blankets, sat up and reached for Dwalin’s clothes. He tugged at them, trying to find all laces, buttons and buckles to get Dwalin to undress himself as quickly as possible.

Dwalin let him for a few moments, joined him in even, as he wrapped his hands around Nori’s hips. 

Nori’s breath hitched, and there was some desperation as he peeled off the layers from Dwalin’s body, and usually Dwalin would have liked that, would have liked the hunger and the way Nori wanted him, but now he was _just_ desperate, his hands shook from exhaustion and from stress. Only a few hours ago he had barely held himself together, he couldn’t expect Dwalin to fuck him now, or to use his hands and mouth instead.

Dwalin wrapped his hands around Nori’s wrists, gently pulling them away.

“You don’t.”

“What? No I do need you to fuck me now, Dwalin come on now!”

Nori tried to return to the undressing, but Dwalin pushed him away again, nudging him down to lie back.

“Don’t you want to?” Nori protested as Dwalin brushed his hand over his hair, working it loose out of their peaks.

“You need rest, you don’t need a fuck, you need comfort,” Dwalin explained, hoping that Nori would let himself sleep now, and go easy on himself. 

After all he had been though, he needed to truly know that everything was fine again.

Nori’s eyes were pleading and hurting as he looked up at Dwalin.

“Please, just let us do anything, please. I want to have you. Just feel-“ he swallowed, and his hands returned to tugging at Dwalin’s clothes. “I need to feel you’re here.”

Dwalin leaned down to kiss Nori lightly on the mouth, before he edged away to finish what Nori had started and pulled off his clothes. 

Next to him Nori whimpered slightly, and quickly took off all of his own as well. He lay down on his side, watching Dwalin struggling with getting out of his pants, and then Dwalin lay down to face him, and pulled him close.

“No fucking,” Dwalin insisted as Nori pressed his face into his crook of the neck. He wrapped his arms around Nori, one hand resting against the small of his back and the other cradling his head, just as Nori pressed his hands against Dwalin’s chest and tangled their legs together.

Nori made a motion with his head that might have been a nod, but he seemed to focus on just cuddling as close as possible and taking deep breaths. 

It was a bit of a struggle to pull the blankets close to cover them both without letting go of Nori, but eventually Dwalin managed and they were warm and comfortable and together. He ached all over, and Nori held himself a little stiffly, but they were safe for now.

The bump pressing against Dwalin’s hip was not something he’d ever truly get used to, perhaps, but so far their child still was small enough to not be _too_ obvious. It wasn’t unpleasant to feel that though, strange, but also good.

Nori sighed softly as he nuzzled against Dwalin.

“’s fine as well,” he muttered, voice already slurred from sleepiness.

Dwalin kissed what he could reach of his head, and petted his hair, waiting for Nori’s breaths to grow slower and more even. He wished he could give Nori more than just the simplest of comforts, more than only comfort through all that was happening to them, and yet so far it seemed to be more than enough for Nori.

Dwalin shifted a little, to lie in a slightly more comfortable position, and closed his eyes, wondering how he could possibly do more without risking everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slightly shorter chapter today, but I had little time or energy for writing, and this seemed a suitable place to cut off :'3  
> it will be some comfort and Beorn's and fluffy stuff for the next couple of chapters, promise


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the baby makes itself known

The morning came with the sounds of birds singing and with the sun shining into the stable through tiny cracks in the walls. Dwalin woke sore and stiff, with his body paying him back for the last two days. It wasn’t that much worse than after a day of hard training or a short battle, but still not something he wanted to be greeted by.

A quick glance around reassured him that he was still in safety, hidden underneath of blankets and some hay that must have shifted as they slept. Nori wasn’t moving, even though the stirring should have woken him by now, clinging tight to Dwalin and his face buried against his chest.

He did start grumbling when Dwalin brushed his hand over Nori’s hair, the touch firm and him not bothering to be careful about not waking him.

“Wake up,” Dwalin told him, shifting a little to get up and get dressed, but Nori only held tighter and tried to burry himself deeper in the warm blankets.

“Fuck off-“ came the reply, along with Nori’s best scowl he could manage while trying to stay asleep.

“The sun’s already up, the others will notice if we keep away for too long.”

Dwalin wouldn’t have gone without Nori, even if it were possible to move far with how he was held at the moment. 

“Don’t care, let me sleep.”

Nori slid down further, and only the top of his head was visible, and this firmly shut eyes.

Dwalin petted his head, waiting for him to stop pouting like that. There was noise outside, the bleating of sheep and the cattle, as well as a faint buzzing of bees. If he sniffed the air Dwalin could even feel the smell of freshly baked bread.

“You’re gonna miss out on breakfast.”

“Mahal fucking wept!” Nori hissed, and finally let go of Dwalin to throw some of the blankets to the side.

“What does a bearing Dwarrow have to do to get some well deserved peace and quiet? And all the sleep and food he deserves!”

Dwalin smiled and he leaned down to kiss Nori on the cheek, ignoring the sound of protest his effort got him.

“You can take a nap later, and for the food you will actually need to get up now, before it’s all gone.”

Still grumbling Nori sat up, exaggerating the difficulty he had with that, and started to pick straws from his clothes. Usually kisses and closeness was the best thing to keep Nori from being cranky in early mornings, but right now it would delay the process of him getting dressed as well.

Nori let Dwalin help him with tying the laces of his vest as tight as possible without being uncomfortable for his tender skin, and did relax when Dwalin soothingly brushed his hands over his back and the bruises.

When they were both dressed, they carefully climbed down into the main part of the stable and went to join the company for breakfast. 

That morning the table wasn’t as crowded as it had been the day before, with most of the company preferring to take some of the food and wander into the beautiful garden behind their host’s hall, and Beorn himself seemed to be outside as well, doing work on the house.

There were bowls and plates laid out, and baskets full of freshly baked bread, and the dogs walking about kept bringing more. Just like the day before, the offered food was simple but good, and Nori and Dwalin were all too happy about joining in for the meal.

Only Ori was sitting at the table, with notes and materials spread out between the cups and the bowls, as they were repairing their kit, which had somehow survived everything near undamaged. They smiled as Nori sat down close by, and set to work on sharpening a quill again. Some of the others were nearby in the hall, but most seemed to prefer actually being outside.

The dogs brought more jugs of milk and bread when Dwalin and Nori sat down, and though Dwalin yearned for some nicely roasted meat, he was glad for the food to fill his stomach again.

They ate and enjoyed what their host had to offer, Nori chatted happily with his sibling, offering them little pies to try or flicking berries their direction, and then he would lean against Dwalin slightly, knocking their shoulders together affectionately.

Dwalin stuck to the bread and the cream for the most part, but Nori didn’t take long to have the dogs offer him the little pastries again. There were more than the day before, pastries that smelled of roasted nuts and pies filled with dark berries and jam, tarts with apple and honey, little buns with a cream-filling, and Nori tried them all.

Dwalin watched this for a while, amused at how Nori went for the sweets much more than he usually would.

“Shouldn’t you eat more of these instead,” Dwalin asked, making a vague gesture towards the more savoury things.

Nori looked up at him, sticking each of his fingers into his mouth one by one to lick off the crumbs and the jam.

“There’s pie so I’m gonna eat the pie for as long as there’s some left.”

“Since when did you start loving pie this much?”

Nori had liked pastries, but he had never had such a sweet tooth as Dwalin. Nori glanced at his plate and shrugged.

“Well, it’s _your_ fault.”

Dwalin snorted and contemplated snatching away the next pastry Nori reached for. 

“How, was I a bad influence or what?”

“Don’t laugh, I wouldn’t be craving these if you hadn’t…”

Nori’s eyes flickered to Ori who was distracted by their notes, and then back to Dwalin.

“It’s not _me_ who wants the pies, really. If this runs in the family, I swear to Mahal…”

The thought of Nori attempting to keep a little child with his hair and Dwalin’s eyes from eating desert before dinner crossed Dwalin’s mind, and he did laugh at that.

Ori looked up at the sound, and Nori narrowed his eyes, so Dwalin slid of the tall bench and waved them off, still laughing. The first thought was soon followed by an image of Nori mothering the child, taking care and making sure that it was healthy and well-behaved, but in his head Nori behaved just like Dori.

He’d have to keep that thought for himself, or else Nori would surely pay him back for daring to suggest it.

“I’ll go take a look at the grounds,” Dwalin told the siblings, and then quickly made his escape, slipping past dogs and sheep and into the garden behind Beorn’s house.

Trees and the stables provided shade all over the wide fields, and in the sunlight it was warm and pleasant, especially after the past days. Flowers bloomed in all colours, and the largest bees Dwalin had ever seen buzzed across the field, slowly and unbothered by any of the Dwarves or the animals.

Dwalin walked a little, then stood still, still chuckling quietly and took in the unfamiliar scents on Beorn’s grounds. 

From the corner of the eye he saw something move, and when Dwalin turned his head he saw Balin head his way, face serious but still with a smile on his lips.

Dwalin sobered at the presence of his older brother, pushing all thoughts of Nori fuzzing around aside.

“Join me for a walk, brother?” Balin asked when he had reached him, and though Dwalin wasn’t sure what his real intention was, he nodded. It wasn’t as if he had anything more important to do that moment.

They walked quietly; there never had been the need to fill the silence with talk between the both of them, when there was little to talk of. Even without that, Dwalin felt like Balin’s presence alone was enough to calm him most of the time.

Balin was wise and had solutions for anything, even if his way to solve things wasn’t always one Dwalin would use himself. But having his older brother near meant safety, and that everything would turn out all right, should things get too bad.

They hadn’t walked for very long, when Balin finally slowed his pace and looked up at his brother, concern on his face.

Dwalin knew that look only too well. He stopped, closed his eyes then opened them, ready to listen to whatever Balin had to say about what he worried. There always was something, and always it was important.

“What is it?” 

“I am a little worried about you.”

“Me?”

That surprised Dwalin. He had expected it would be something about the company’s well-being, or maybe Thorin’s or something concerning their host or the journey. That Balin had cause to worry about Dwalin specifically wasn’t something he thought he had given him reason for.

Balin watched him for a while, then his eyes turned to the main hall where Dwalin had come from.

“I have noticed you being awfully close with Nori…” he started, and Dwalin suddenly felt cold, despite the sun shining down on his back.

“He is part of the company, isn’t he? He’s good to be around and fights well, why shouldn’t I talk to him? It’s impossible to _not_ spend time with anyone here.”

“That is not what I meant.”

Balin’s eyes were searching and Dwalin was glad that he had practice in lying about his love life, and that Balin had barely ever witnessed anything of that part of his brother’s life. 

“You were the one who suggested Nori for the quest, weren’t you?”

“I did.” 

“Why him?”

There was little use in denying anything, but Dwalin could try to make it seem so much less. He had promised Nori, and he would not tell his brother the full truth, even if he wanted to. His promise and his child were more important.

“He’s good for what he need. I knew him before, and he was the most trustworthy of the whole lot.”

Dwalin fought the urge to cross his arms and shift into a defensive position, which would only make his brother more suspicious. Still, Balin didn’t look as if he truly believed him. 

“Whatever it is you do with your lovers or with casual flings, is none of my business,” Balin started, and again Dwalin felt the urge to do something, to explain himself or deny it. 

“What worries me is if it’s something else. I do not know Mister Nori at all. His brother is a very proper and honourable Dwarf, and his sibling is a clever and hardworking scribe. Perhaps he is like them as well, but I don’t know for certain and you are my brother.”

“I do not know what exactly the nature of your relationship with him is, but if you care too much and he is only using you to get away from the law, or for any other purpose, or if he simply doesn’t care about you. I would not want you to be harmed because of this.” 

The suggestion stung, and Dwalin wanted to snap about how Nori was not _using_ him, and how dare anyone speak ill of his partner, but this was his older brother worrying, and of course, if Dwalin hadn’t known Nori so well he would be questioning just the same thing.

“Nori is just like any of us,” he said instead and Balin bowed his head in agreement.

“Then there is the other way,” he replied, and at Dwalin’s questioning frown Balin looked up, his expression shifting from worry to sternness. 

“I know you aren’t completely careless, and you have been brought up well, just as any of the Line of Durin. But I am also aware of the fact that learning something as a Dwarfling does not necessarily mean that you will heed it as a Dwarf.”

He watched Dwalin for a while but Dwalin just stared back without understanding what he wanted, so Balin just sighed and went on.

“Do not treat Nori badly, is what I wanted to say. I know, his family will be rich and at about the same level as ours when this is all over. But now they aren’t, and they did not grow up as nobles, or rich for that matter. I do not want to see you taking any advantage of him, or him believing that he owes you for any involvement you had in him joining here. And Dwalin… take full responsibility, should anything ever happen between the two of you. I know you should know this, but I am reminding you that you _will_ act honourably, whatever it is you do to him, including how you treat him.”

The thought of ever mistreating Nori was completely foreign to Dwalin, but of course, Balin had no way of knowing, he only saw how Dwalin was, and how Nori was like, he could only assume. And if he thought this was only a fling while they were on the road, but thought that Nori had gotten attached…

“I would _never_ do anything to harm Nori, I never leave him on his own if something happened!” Dwalin said forcefully, cursing himself just as soon as the words left his mouth.

Now Balin knew for sure that there was more than Dwalin would admit, more than a fling perhaps. He smiled slightly, and grasped Dwalin’s biceps.

“I can’t imagine you behaving dishonourably where lovers are concerned,” he appeased him. “I simply wanted to be sure that you knew.”

He patted Dwalin’s arm, and then turned to walk towards where Óin and Dori were sitting next to the stables, leaving Dwalin to watch and frown.

Balin usually respected his privacy, ever since Dwalin had come of age, and didn’t intervene, especially if it was about Dwalin’s private life and he did not ask for advice, but of course he always watched. How careful had he and Nori really been? How much did Balin assume of how they had acted?

With how Dwalin was sometimes caring too much sometimes, and with the terrible condition Nori had been in emotionally, some of it must have been obvious, and without knowing of how long they went back, there were few things one might assume. 

They would have to be more careful, if Balin was paying attention, though Dwalin didn’t know what else he was supposed to do or change, now that Balin thought he and Nori had a thing anyway. 

Not that much longer, if they were lucky, and there would be no need to pretend. Dwalin knew that it would be hard to keep Nori’s pregnancy hidden until the end of the year, and until they could enter Erebor, but soon after they would _need_ help, for the birth. Dwalin didn’t know enough about that, not enough to be confident that he and Nori could handle it on their own and have both Nori and the baby safe.

When it came down to it, Dwalin would rather not risk the lives of his family just to keep the company from knowing just now.

Bofur and Glóin had started working on fixing the company’s remaining equipment, and making everything Beorn was willing to give them suitable for a Dwarf to carry. With nothing better to do and a need to take his mind of things Dwalin joined them, accepting the baskets Glóin wanted to furnish with straps.

They worked and Bofur and Glóin chatted, smoked pipe and sometimes other would join and leave again. Óin had gathered a great bundle of plants, and with Bifur’s help he sorted them into groups and started working on making new salves out of them, as half of his own medical kit had been lost.

The day went on, and eventually Bofur disappeared and returned with a dog and pushing a barrel he barely would have been able to move properly on his own. It was mead Beorn seemed to have made himself, and the discovery was greeted with cheer.

Someone brought jugs and then their work was set aside in favour of the drink.

The mead was sweet and Bofur started a song everybody joined in on, and Dwalin felt himself get increasingly more relaxed.

He didn’t think about everything he’d have to take care of in the future, only laughed with the others at Bofur’s increasingly lewd songs.

Dwalin didn’t know how long they had been sitting there, doing nothing, when he noticed Nori out of the corner of his eye. He was walking quickly, nearly running, from the main hall and right towards them, an unreadable expression on his face.

The others didn’t pay him any mind at first, as Dwalin was sitting right at the edge of the little circle and it was there where Nori stopped.

“Did something happen?” Dwalin barely managed to get out when Nori hissed quietly. “Dwalin, come with me, now!”

“Why?”

Dwalin looked at Nori’s stomach, before remembering to be cautious and glancing up again. Nori was nearly fidgeting with impatience now, and he just waved his arm.

“Don’t ask, but I need to you come along _now_.”

The others were slowly turning their attention to them, and Dwalin tried to figure out what Nori’s expression meant. There was no worry or fear, only urgency and impatience.

Dwalin got to his feet and nodded, barely having time to even do anything before Nori grabbed his wrist and spun around to drag him away. That display caused a load of laughter and dirty jokes on their expense, but Dwalin didn’t really care.

He stared at the back of Nori’s head as he was dragged towards the stable they had slept in the night before, wondering what this was all about.

“I don’t really know if I’m up for a fuck…” Dwalin started, “and there’s no need to be this blunt about it.”

“Why is everything always about fucking for you?” Nori snapped, and let go of his hand to climb up the ladder to where their blankets still lay on the hay.

Dwalin thought about reminding Nori that it was _he_ whose thoughts turned dirty quicker and he who was more likely to pull such a thing for a fuck, then decided to let it slide.

By the time he had climbed up, Nori was already sitting on the blankets, fumbling with the clasps of his clothes and sliding his jacket off. Their eyes met and Nori only rolled his eyes before gesturing Dwalin to come closer.

Dwalin waited and eventually Nori was only wearing his undershirt. He didn’t take that off, only started to work on the lowest laces to get his stomach bare.

“It just _kicked_ me,” he whispered excitedly, and that got Dwalin’s attention at once.

“It… Are you sure! Has this happened before?”

“I don’t know, but _now_ I felt it!”

Nori grasped Dwalin’s shoulders and leaned back against the stacks of hay, pulling Dwalin along and guiding his hands to his stomach.

“Feel for yourself! I think the tiny one is restless right now!”

Dwalin was nearly afraid to touch Nori’s skin, but then he cautiously leaned his cheek against his stomach, splaying his hands on either side to have it all of the swell covered.

He didn’t have to wait for very long, and suddenly there was a little nudge, faint but there and unexpected, and Dwalin nearly jolted at the feeling against his cheek.

“That-?!”

Nori laughed and cradled his fingers through Dwalin’s hair.

“Isn’t it amazing?”

He sounded so fond, and Dwalin wanted to sit up and see his face and kiss him and just be glad about the first sign of the little life they had created, but right as he was about to move away there was another little nudge against his palm.

“Sweet little chid,” Nori said and his nails scratched against Dwalin’s scalp as he held him tighter, and Dwalin slowly moved his fingers of his skin, searching for where the child would nudge the next time.

“It’s still so faint.”

“Won’t get much stronger I suppose, not till the actual birth.”

Dwalin smiled and kissed Nori’s stomach where he thought he felt movement. 

“I can’t wait to meet you,” he told it, and Nori tugged at Dwalin’s hair for that.

“Then you can kick your Da all he wants.”

Dwalin felt a shift and Nori’s lips brushing against the top of his head, but he didn’t move away or let go, too fascinated by their child moving.

Nori sighed softly and settled back, making himself as comfortable as possible, and they were content lying like that, Dwalin listening for the child and trying to feel everything, and Nori idly brushing his fingers through Dwalin’s hair. It was close and comfortable, and Dwalin could not wait to have their child in their arms, to really see it there with them, and doing more than kicking its fathers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, Balin is implying that Dwalin needs to take responsibility should he get Nori pregnant. As Balin hadn't know Nori for long, and Nori isn't wearing any braids with meaning, he doesn't know whether Nori can bear or not. .... too late Balin, way too late


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirkwood

After a week of resting in Beorn’s halls, the company was ready to travel on. Everyone who had gotten hurt in the Misty Mountains had had enough time to recover from their minor injuries, and regained their strength as well.

Nori had been completely fine through all of it, and nobody had noticed anything off. Maybe he hadn’t even pretended when he joked around with everyone else, and stuck to Dwalin or his siblings, maybe he really was fine.

Beorn and his animals had behaved differently around Nori, always watching or quick to bring him jugs of milk or the pastries he loved so much, as well as some extra he hid in his pockets. They all seemed to know, but they didn’t say anything.

The one thing strange about what Nori did, was that he asked Beorn for old clothes, and fur or textiles he didn’t need. A makeshift coat was quickly made out of all he gathered, a too big and too wide thing, but short enough to walk comfortably.

“I’ve been freezing lately, that’s all,” Nori had defended that choice, and it had seemed strange to the others, wit the summer still warm. But the nights _had_ been chilly, and the weather could change easily.

Despite the looks it earned him, Nori tied the coat across his packs, and would wear it during the day, usually right after sliding down from his pony’s back. It was good that he had it, Dwalin supposed. With how wide it was, it would conceal his growing stomach and it would drag out the time they had before being discovered.

“It should be enough to last through the Mirkwood,” Nori whispered when Dwalin asked him about how long he hoped to keep their child a secret. He stared towards the East, where the edge of the great woodland realm wasn’t yet visible. “They won’t be able to send me back by then.”

That had been something they nearly fought about. Nestled in their makeshift bed, Dwalin had held Nori and thought about the possible exertions of their further journey. And Beorn’s was safe, and Nori was comfortable there, all the animals sensed his condition and like him well enough.

“It would be better for you to stay,” Dwalin had suggested, but Nori had tensed and clung harder to him.

“No, I’m not staying here _alone_. And what would I say? That I’m injured? Afraid? Dwalin, you promised you wouldn’t leave me!”

Nori hadn’t relaxed until Dwalin kissed his forehead and promised to never abandon him to travel on. And perhaps it was better that way. If Nori didn’t travel on he would have breached his contract with Thorin, and though he was well liked by now, it would also mean no gold, and no pardon. Which could mean that Dwalin would have trouble keeping Nori and the child close.

It would be only a few weeks through the Mirkwood, and then little more than a month spent in the company of the Laketown Men, or at the edges of the Lonely Mountain. Harsher routs had been taken by bearing Dwarves before, and they were a hardy folk. What made Dwalin uneasy was the possibility of being this close to the tall folks so soon before the birth, with as few Dwarves around as they had.

He wasn’t even sure whether Gandalf and Bilbo were to be trusted. Gandalf would probably not care either way, as long as he could pursue his own inexplicable goals, and Bilbo was a good friend and brave, but Dwalin still didn’t know how a Hobbit might react. Surely he would like children, with as many as they’d seen in the Shire, but there was no way of knowing what he’d think of Nori, or of having a child out of wedlock in general.

There was nothing they could do but hope for the best and travel on. 

Nori grew quieter in the evenings and Dwalin often saw him grimacing in discomfort when he sat on his pony. He was growing slow, when quick movements weren’t required, and at night he’d cuddle up to Dwalin, throwing all caution into the wind.

“I can move,” he grumbled against Dwalin’s chest when he did, while Dwalin gently rubbed his back. “It’s just not always comfortable.”

Dwalin wished that he could do more than give comfort at night when nobody was looking, but there was no way to do that without making the company suspicious. He tried to take over all duties Nori might have had in the camp, and brought Nori food or helped him lay out his bedroll or saddle his pony whenever possible, even if it didn’t do much.

Nori would seek Dwalin’s company more often, and everyone knew. Thorin would sometimes raise his eyebrows at Dwalin, and he knew that the King would be teasing him mercilessly if they were in private, or drunk in some tavern.

Dori sometimes watched Nori with an amused smile, each time he didn’t go to sit with his siblings as he usually did. He didn’t comment though, and spent the extra time fussing about Ori some more, causing the youngest to sometimes glare at Nori with a bitter pout.

The company caught on that Nori didn’t feel like being around anyone much, and nobody minded. They talked to him without approaching too close, and Bofur would sometimes throw him little blocks of wood across the fire, to show him something he’d carved. They’d laugh and joke but without the miner wrapping an arm around Nori’s shoulders, as he usually did. 

Bombur filled Nori’s bowls a little more than usual as they travelled, as Nori was eating more fills than before, as long as they didn’t have to ration the food they’d take into the forest.

Glóin, who had liked lecturing Nori before, was now trailing next to him on his pony more often, as he noticed that Nori was the most tolerant when it came to listening to yet another tale of little Gimli. 

It was like it should be, just like any caravan was like when a Dwarf was bearing, with the ease and the cheer. Just like it would have been, apart from the little detail that nobody but Dwalin knew about the child.

They wouldn’t know for another month, hopefully. At least the road was easy, and everything should go over much better by now.

Once they reached the forest, Gandalf left them and all turned for the worst.

Of course Dwalin hadn’t expected a realm of Elves to be a _nice_ place to be, especially not when it was cursed at that. 

It was dark and too silent during the day, and barely anyone was in the mood to talk and try to lift their spirit. Nori walked right behind Dwalin most of the time, watching the trees in suspicion and fumbling with the pack he was carrying.

They had to ration their food and their water, and they could not drink from any of the streams inside the forest, and the few times Kíli managed to shoot one of the forest’s creatures, the flesh was too tough and tasted nearly inedible, so they couldn’t restock their supplies.

The nights were worse, when the twilight turned to darkness and nobody could see further than a few feet. The risk of loosing their path was too great and the animals of the forest woke up, watching the company with shining eyes, so crossing them didn’t seem safe either.

It didn’t feel safe, and everyone was always on edge, staring at the little campfire and barely daring to step out of the small circle of light the fire offered.

Dwalin barely ever let go of his axes as they walked, always ready for an attack and to defend the company. In the evenings he only set them aside to wrap his arms around Nori and to just hold him.

Nori only spoke when somebody addressed him directly now, and in the evenings he would try to find a comfortable position, pulling a face at nearly any way he managed to sit down. Sometimes he wrapped his coat around himself, curled his arms over his belly and shifted to not face the fire. Sometimes he would look towards Óin, contemplating, but then he never went to the healer anyway.

“I want this to be over,” he’d whisper to Dwalin when they tried to sleep, and Dwalin never knew whether he meant the journey through the forest, the secrecy or the pregnancy, that was starting to just be uncomfortable.

Everyone cuddled together when they slept, for warmth and safety, and nobody moved as they listened to the forest’s noises.

Dwalin would wrap an arm around Nori, doing his best to pull him as close as possible, and Nori would either cling to the front of his shirt or wrap his arms around his stomach. There was little that could shake Nori, but in the darkness Dwalin would sometimes see his wide eyes and the fear on his face and he could do nothing to make it better.

They lost count of the days, and somehow everything was a blur and even the time didn’t seem to go right. Some days were over before Dwalin even registered that they were walking, and sometimes it felt like they had walked for days, and he could barely lift his feet anymore.

The air of the forest was all _wrong_ , the entire company was wrong and Dwalin felt as if his head had always had the fog inside. They had barely spoken before, but now the others would talk, whisper among themselves and try to speak to just get to focus on anything but the forest around them.

They stumbled on and the path seemed to drag on forever. It seemed like it was there sometimes, and sometimes it was gone just to reappear again. Sometimes it seemed as if there was no end, as if the straight line through the wood was twisting every way instead, and that they were walking in circles.

The food was growing scarce too quickly, which made Thorin order the daily rations to be cut.

“We’ll be there soon,” Bilbo said one night, as he stared into the bowl he was given. “Just a few more days, and then we’ll get to have a feast on the other side.”

He had counted the days, and beside him Ori nodded, too tired to actually say that they agreed.

Dwalin couldn’t trust that, the forest didn’t look as if there was any way out, and he would rather not die of hunger later on.

It was painful to not disagree when they had less food on each meal, and everyone was looking tired and sick.

Beside him, Nori clung to his coat and stared at the fire. He had dark circles around the eyes, and his cheekbones stood out too sharp. Nori had always been thinner than most, but now the lack of food was affecting him more than the others.

Each time Dwalin tried to offer him some of his share to make it better, Nori would just glare and snap at him, refusing to take even the tiniest crumb of Dwalin’s share.

He was the same with water, and would never accept Dwalin’s flask.

Once or twice Dwalin even saw how Nori would look at his share and then to Ori, who had always gotten what he needed to be well by their brothers. At least Nori didn’t try to offer his share, as Dwalin doubted that any less could be healthy for their child.

They only had enough food for a few days left, when Nori stopped talking altogether, refusing to answer when anyone spoke to him, when Dwalin whispered questions and tried to make sure that he was fine. He couldn’t even tell whether Nori was tired, uncomfortable or in actual pain, and he couldn’t insist, with the company watching and already looking suspicious when Dwalin tried to take care of his thief as well as he could.

Everyone was tense and snapping at one another and especially the youngest started arguing loudly, shoving at one another and Ori and Kíli nearly started a fight. There was no way out, there was no food, they needed to get out of the forest within a day, or maybe two, but they did not know how.

Thorin looked nearly broken by all of it, staring into the forest and doing nothing, and Dwalin couldn’t imagine what it must feel like, to know that all of your subjects might die.

The worry for Nori and their child was nearly too much to bear without being able to do anything already, but Dwalin had no choice but to endure.

He had to, he needed to be there, just be present and things would be better. How many times had Nori asked for nothing more than to not be alone after all?

Things would be good, Thorin and Balin always found a way out, and they’d just have to press on, they must be close to the boarders of Mirkwood so they would manage. 

If he was just close enough to stand in front of Nori, or to hold his hand in the evenings, he would be able to make sure that everything was good.

He could do the least by protecting his lover and his child, no matter what the situation was, and how the forest seemed to stretch into forever.

There was nothing Dwalin could do when the spiders came.

It was a daze, all thoughts froze in his head, he couldn’t think, could barely register that there was a sticky white veil obscuring his sight, that he was dragged and could not will his body to move or to reach for the dagger on his belt and fight against it.

There were noises and spiders and darkness, and a loss of gravity, and Dwalin couldn’t even remember how to fight, or why, or how he had gotten into this situation.

When they fell, Dwalin barely felt the soft thump of connecting with the scrub growing around the too large trees, and then there was nothing but fighting, and energy returning to his body and spiders, everywhere, hissing and trying to catch them again.

It was more muscle memory than conscious thought that had Dwalin fighting and punching the vile creatures and then they were running, and fighting and teaming up to take out the spiders and then they were running and stumbling away, and there was no path, no sun or moon or stars visible through the canopy and no way to know where the East was.

Nori was there, just by Dwalin’s side, and he was running just like the rest and there was no time to stop and check whether he was fine, no time to hold him and feel him being alive.

The rush of the battle and the fear for their life was what made the Dwarves run as far and fast as they had, and Dwalin could feel his heartbeat nearly painful in his throat. 

He didn’t know how long they had been fleeing, but the spiders were gone, and then they found a little clearing, and one after one the Dwarves fell to their knees or sagged against the trees, holding on to anything that would keep them upright.

Dwalin pressed his back against a tree, trying to breathe as the sickness of the spiders’ venom started to make his head hurt again. He couldn’t think straight, could barely count the company or make sure that everyone was safe.

Everything was foggy again, and he could not think, but he noticed Nori’s movements, and how he was trembling hard, stumbling around before he fell down by a tree, bracing himself with his fingers digging into the dirt.

He was wheezing and coughing as his entire body shook, and then he threw up bile. Nobody else had been affected like he had, and Dwalin willed his body to move and walk over to Nori.

There was nothing he could do but to hold Nori’s shoulders and gently keep him steady as he retched. There was sheen of sweat on his forehead and he didn’t even have the energy to push Dwalin away.

The others saw, of course, and there was nothing Dwalin could do to make them stop watching the display. Not in their condition, not with the fog in his head.

Too late did he realize that Nori’s clothes were askew, that everyone could see the swell of his stomach. Somehow Dwalin couldn’t even remember why he needed to be careful, why this was more important that to wrap an arm around Nori’s shoulders to keep him steady.

He heard the whispers, from everyone who was strong enough to speak. It was Dori who was the first to crawl across the fallen and rotten leaves to kneel before his brother.

“Nori-“ he chocked out, and his trembling fingers wrapped around Nori’s hands. 

“Why didn’t you tell?”

The whispers were louder, but Dwalin didn’t manage to get a sense of the words, and it wasn’t important, with how hot Nori’s skin was, and how laboured his breath sounded. He looked so desperate, but he didn’t seem to have the energy to cling to Dwalin or to get up and let his brother hold him.

“It hurts,” he whispered, and then he was shaking again.

The second one to recover from the shock was Óin, always the healer, doing what needed to be done before he asked questions.

He edged closer, gently pushed Dori out of the way to take a look on Nori, and if Dwalin hadn’t known better, he’d have said that Óin wasn’t affected by the spiders at all.

Óin felt Nori’s forehead, then unlaced his jacket and gently prodded and felt his belly.

“You are fine,” he said after endless minutes. “The little one, too. It’s just your stomach, you’re reacting badly to the poison but your body’s getting rid of tha’” 

He nodded to the side, where Nori had thrown up earlier, and he sat back as Nori let out a relieved sob and pressed the side of his face against Dwalin’s shoulders.

There was nothing after that, Dwalin barely had the energy for thinking, and to register the relief after barely even managing to understand why he was worried. 

He could barely move, could barely resist when they were surrounded by Elves and Nori curled into himself by his side, knuckles white as he held onto his coat. He couldn’t fight when he was led through the forest and arrows were pointed at him and too thin and too strong hands held him tight.

To his shame Dwalin didn’t even mange to break free when Nori was lead along, away from him and when they were pushed into a palace and then into cells and he couldn’t even pull free to get to him, couldn’t do anything when he was pushed into a cell but Nori was lead away, staring back at him with wide and terrified eyes. 

When he was alone Dwalin didn’t even mange to try and see whether he could break the door, or punch the walls. There was water in the corner, just a little through, and Dwalin drank until his throat didn’t feel dry anymore, before sinking down on the cot in the corner and passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops. ;;; I had a hard time trying to get this right


	12. Chapter 12

There was nothing to do but to pace the cell endlessly. There wasn’t much space at all, and apart from a cot and the little trough for water there was nothing there to distract. 

Dwalin would have broken everything to bits, if he could, but the bed was anchored to the wall and he wouldn’t dare damaging the trough. He had tried cursing and threatening instead, each time the guard passed to check on him or when he was brought food, but the Elves just sneered down at him and moved on, secure in the knowledge that the Dwarf couldn’t do anything.

After Dwalin had woken up without feeling the fog and pain in his head anymore, he had tried to break the door. He had thrown himself against it over and over, had tried to push against the bars, but the door hadn’t yielded or even shaken much under the onslaught.

The Elves knew how to make secure cells, at least, even though Dwalin wouldn’t have expected that of them. Nori had sometimes told stories of the less well-made cells of Dwarves, and some prisons of Men he had seen. Some prisoners could break out by simply breaking through the door. He had joked about how Dwalin would be good at that, should he ever choose a different career.

In the halls of the Elves all Dwalin managed to do was to get his arms and chest bruised. 

After the painful attempts to just do _something_ all that was left to him was to pace and glare or try to lie still and do nothing. 

It might have been better if he wasn’t alone. He could hear some of the others shouting, but they were all too far apart to have proper conversations, and nobody wanted the Elves to know more than they already did. All Dwalin managed to find out was that at least Bofur was fine, and that he had heard the same from those within his shouting range. 

It drove him mad to be so helpless, to not be able to do anything, to not even _know_ what was happening to the others. The Elves did not speak much, and Dwalin wouldn’t dare ask them anything, lest they see any advantage in what he revealed.

Would they be cruel enough to keep someone from their lover and a father from his child, even if he was a Dwarf?

He could not risk the Elves knowing that one of their company was in such a vulnerable position, couldn’t risk them _knowing_ anything at all.

How had Nori ever managed this? Being locked away, and he had had plenty of that. Perhaps it was just that he rarely did anything bad enough to warrant a solitary cell, too far from anyone else, and perhaps it was that there was never anything at stake for him before now.

Dwalin wasn’t sure what he would have done if Bilbo hadn’t shown up after a few days. He was so relieved when the Hobbit appeared before his cells, peeking in a whispering to get his attention.

“I managed to sneak into the palace when they led you away,” Bilbo said after quickly explaining how he had been separated from the company when the spiders came. “Took some time to find the cells, but now that I know I will find a way to get you all out of here.”

Dwalin nearly felt guilty for not noticing that their Burglar hadn’t been with them after they had managed to get away from the spiders, but perhaps he could be excused as he truly had had bigger worries at that moment. Bilbo at least didn’t blame the Dwarves, and he promised to check on how the others were even though he looked tired and in need of a rest.

Even with Bilbo appearing at the cell door a couple of times a day, Dwalin still felt restless and couldn’t do anything to help Nori. Bilbo hadn’t seen, so Dwalin couldn’t risk telling him of the situation as well.

He wasn’t even sure what the rest of the company was thinking, whether they had even registered Nori’s condition. Bilbo might talk, or demand answers.

“Have you spoken to Thorin? Have you found my brother yet? Are the princes all right? Do these bastards treat them well?”

First Dwalin only dared asking further about his closest family and his King, standing pressed against the bars with Bilbo leaning against them on the other side, quietly talking of what he knew.

Bilbo seemed to see these moments as some sort of break, a chance to pause and speak to _someone_ and not always hide in the shadows. Like this Dwalin found out that the Elves treated everyone the same way, and that they would sometimes sneer at Thorin especially or ask him whether he was ready to speak to their king, but ignored the company.

He told about what the others did, about Bofur joking and being optimistic, about Bifur deliberately trying to scare the Elves and Glóin ranting at everything and everyone or sulking and ignoring the Elves altogether. Dwalin found out that the princesses were fine, that Fíli was sulking and that Kíli complained about the boredom most of all.

It soothed Dwalin a little, but at the same time he grew agitated because Bilbo never mentioned Nori beyond a ‘he’s fine’ in his stories. This either meant that Nori simply didn’t talk to Bilbo enough to warrant a retelling, or that something had happened to him to not want to talk of anything.

Each time Bilbo appeared at Dwalin’s door, he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from blurting out a question, and to not ask about Nori, or to tell Bilbo to ask for specific things.

How was one supposed to ask Nori about whether he and the child were in good health, without letting Bilbo know? Already the Hobbit would glance at Dwalin with a half apologetic and half compassionate smile, just saying that Nori was doing as well as Balin and Thorin.

Of course, he would think that Dwalin’s interest was based on their relationship, or whatever it was that Bilbo though was going on between them. And usually Dwalin would have been relieved, and worried for Nori about as much as he did for his family. He could not let Bilbo know that it was a child he worried about as well.

Still, it didn’t take long before Dwalin started asking questions again, each time Bilbo came or when he gave him water from the trough, as it was hard to find some in the dungeons otherwise.

“And the Elves aren’t treating him worse than us, are they? Is he eating what they give him? This stuff is terrible but you can eat it, I just don’t know whether Nori can…”

Bilbo looked up from the bowl Dwalin had given him, furrowing his brow. 

“What happened to Nori?” he asked, and Dwalin did his best to look confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Nobody is saying a thing, but nearly everyone has asked just what you did. Whether he eats, whether the Elves treat him differently or whether he had said anything or looks strange, but nobody explained why. What is it about him that has all of you so worried? Why don’t you trust me with this?”

Dwalin winced, both at the accusing look Bilbo gave him and hearing that everyone else had seen and knew what there was to worry about.

“He reacted badly to the spider venom,” Dwalin said, trying to look apologetic. “And Óin had little time to check on him before the Elves came. And little supplies left as well.”

Bilbo’s expression eased back to an understanding smile.

“Well, then it’s only natural for you to worry. You could have told me straight away, though.”

He pushed back the bowl through the bars, and got up. Dwalin watched how Bilbo brushed his hands over his clothes to get rid of the dirt; not that it was nay use with the ragged and torn clothes and soil and dust always sticking to them. Bilbo would not be able to put himself together while hiding from the Elves, but still the Hobbit remained fussy.

“I will try and help him,” Bilbo promised, “ask him whether he needs any medicine or food if he’s sick from what the Elves give him. Shouldn’t be too hard to sneak some out of the storage room.”

Dwalin nodded in relief, and then Bilbo disappeared into the shadows with a little wave.

He still wouldn’t be able to tell how Nori was doing really, not when any information might tip Bilbo off on what really was happening. At least Dwalin hoped that Nori would seize the opportunity to ask for everything he needed, should Bilbo offer help for spider-induced sickness.

The first wave of relief didn’t last long. Summer was over outside the halls and the forest, and Durin’s Day was approaching. Dwalin couldn’t tell inside the cell, but he had counted the days as well as he could, and with what little Bilbo could tell, he was fairly confident.

There was no way to tell when exactly they’d manage to break out, if at all. They should have been at the foot of the Lonely Mountain weeks ago, they should have reached the short period of rest and not be trapped behind bars.

If they were stuck for too long the Elves might notice something off about Nori after all. If they were stuck in the cells for too long, Nori would _need_ help. 

The due date was approaching, and Nori could not be alone for that. Dwarves were not meant to be alone, and Dwalin couldn’t let him deal with all of it on his own. He needed to be there for the birth of his child. Needed to make sure that Nori was safe and that the Elves would not harm him, whether on accident or willingly.

They had done all of this to keep Nori out of prison and make sure that he would not end up behind bars when the child was born. And now it was just as before, the threat of being on his own and behind bars and the child to be taken away. 

Would the Elves know what to do with a Dwarf child? Would they keep the child and Nori locked away as blackmail? Would they be merciful and let them stay where it was better, more as a guest than the prisoner he was? 

Perhaps, if Nori weren’t trapped in too small a space he would feel better; he might be able to keep the child away from the Elves as much as possible. Perhaps he might even be able to sneak out and help Bilbo, but perhaps not with a child to protect. Dwalin doubted that he would be allowed to see his family; he looked too violent and too much like a warrior and the Elves would suspect a trick. They wouldn’t care for the sire of the child to be happy; they might only be interested in keeping them all alive, not content.

The time went on, and days turned to weeks and weeks slowly started to approach a full month of imprisonment. Dwalin was alone, and Nori was all by himself as well, with no way to change it.

Finally, _finally_ Bilbo found the keys to the cells and the perfect opportunity to flee the forest, and Dwalin could have kissed him. 

It had to go quickly, with Bilbo rushing from cell to cell and leading the company to the alternate exit he had found, everyone was so quiet, barely daring to even whisper. Dwalin only briefly clasped hands with everyone he saw, glad to have them back.

There was no time for anything, but he saw how the princesses clung together and how Dori held Ori’s hand as they rushed through the dark corridors. When Bilbo finally reached Nori’s door, half the company had been assembled already, and the Hobbit rushed on after unlocking, barely taking the time to tell Nori what to do.

The others nearly stopped when Nori slid out through the door, arms curled over his stomach, tugging at his clothes. Even like that the soft swell of his belly could not be concealed. 

Nori didn’t meet anybody’s eyes, pressing himself to Dwalin’s side right away and then they had to rush on, there was no way to say anything. The lighting was bad and Bilbo urged them on, nobody could take the time look back. 

It wasn’t comfortable to walk as quickly as they did and hold Nori to his side, but Dwalin did, and he pressed his face to Nori’s hair briefly. Nori’s hands were light against him, and he gave Dwalin a reassuring smile.

They reached a cavernous hall full of crates and barrels, and there did not seem to be a way out of it. Yet this was where Bilbo led them.

“What is this place?”

“Is this right? There is no way out, is there?”

Bofur and Kíli were the first to surround the Hobbit to try and find out what he had planed, but Bilbo waved them off and dashed over to an array of barrels standing near a wall.

“We get out via barrel. The Elves push they empty barrels into the river and then they get carried straight to Laketown. It’s the only way out that does not lead through the gates.”

It earned him indignant muttering and comments about how he was mad, how this wouldn’t work and how he couldn’t expect them to crawl into barrels and just put their life into chance’s hands. 

While Bilbo tried to shush them and explain how he had found this way, Nori subtly edged from where he was standing pressed to Dwalin’s side, to slightly behind him, turning so that he wasn’t right in sight of everyone.

Still Dwalin felt the eyes turning to them, saw how they looked to Nori and at his stomach, and how confusion and disbelief crossed their faces. They might have been unsure about whether what they had seen in the forest was real or no, and now there was no doubt.

The first Dwarves started climbing into the barrels, following Bilbo’s directions, and Dwalin turned away from them, hoping not to see their expressions, and focused on Nori instead.

He looked so much better, his cheekbones didn’t stand out as sharply and he wasn’t as pale as he had been in the forest. Nori only looked at the floor, tired and sullen, turning from the others, and Dwalin didn’t know how to fix that.

Everyone was busy with the barrels, and Bilbo had opened another two, calling them over. Dwalin saw Bilbo’s puzzled expression when he noticed how Nori looked, but then he stepped aside to let Dwalin help Nori climb into the barrel.

There was some straw inside, but otherwise it was just the barrel and a river, and no protection from anything that was to come. Nori groaned a little as he eased himself down into a crouch, unused to the way his belly prevented him from certain movements he usually could do easily.

“We’ll be fine,” he whispered as Dwalin lingered by his side. 

Parting from his love so soon after being reunited went against all of Dwalin’s instincts, but he simply forced a smile and squeezed Nori’s shoulder before climbing into the barrel next to his.

Once everyone was sitting still, Bilbo told them to hold on. There barely was a way to hold on to anything, but Dwalin pressed his hands against the barrel’s walls and waited. There was a clattering sound and a noise of wood and metal gears working, and then gravity shifted and was gone as they fell, before the surface of cold water stopped their fall and they were out.

*

No method of transportation, no way of fleeing enemy territory, no unusual way of battling would ever be as unnerving as the flight over the river had been.

The barrels barely followed directions, only shot along with the river’s currents and carrying the Dwarves towards their goal, but also towards their enemies. They had no weapons to fight off the Orcs, only Bilbo’s little sword and branches and anything that fell into the barrels.

It was disorienting and wet and more than once Dwalin thought he would drown even before the Orcs got to him. And soon enough nobody could do anything anymore, apart from holding on to the barrels and trying not to be sick at the rapid movements and the spinning. They didn’t even notice the exact moment the Orcs stopped following.

The first step out of the barrel and onto solid rock felt like a blessing, and Dwalin stumbled towards the shore once the barrels finally floated into a little bay.

Around him everyone was coughing and spitting water and feeling for ground blindly. They looked as wet and miserable as Dwalin felt, soaked through to the bone and cold in the autumn chill.

Dwalin barely took the time to catch his breath and returned to the barrels nearly as soon as he had managed to regain his balance. Everyone was helping the one who was closet, but Dwalin waded out into the icy water and found the barrel where Nori was still clinging to the edge, brushing his hair out of his eyes with a shaky hand.

He was pale and looked like he was about to be sick, but other than that he didn’t seem to be hurt. Dwalin breathed a sigh of relief when Nori reached for his hands to try and pull himself up, and like that it was easier to help him get out of the barrel.

“Alright?” Dwalin whispered against Nori’s hair, holding him steady until he was sure that Nori really was standing on his own.

Nori pushed at his hands, muttering something about his back killing him and not being _that_ fragile. Dwalin ignored it, holding him even as he carefully started to lead him over the slippery rocks to the riverbank. He had missed out on one month of trying to protect and coddle Nori as well as he could, he would not keep back for the last month of it as well.

It wasn’t even necessary to hold back any longer, with everybody knowing.

In the time it took Dwalin to reach Nori and help him ashore and make sure that he was fine, everyone else had already managed to stumble onto the rock, and everyone was staring at the two of them. 

Dwalin held on to Nori and stared back, looked from face to face and saw the bewildered stares and the confusion and disbelief, saw how everyone was thinking and counting the days and wondering why and how they had not seen, wondering and already forming opinions.

Dwalin saw how Balin near unreadable expression twitched slightly, how he took in what he saw and then turned his eyes to Dwalin, calculating and questioning but not yet accusing, saw how the princesses were just baffled, Fíli slightly less obvious and Kíli openly gaping, saw how Ori looked from one of their brothers to the other, questioning, he saw how pain and disbelief fought on Dori’s face.

Bilbo was frowning and looking at the others; of course, to him this would be a lot more confusing than to anyone, he wouldn’t even know that Nori could bear. Beside him Bofur already looked amused, in that way of his when he made jokes about any situation that was a bit too much, and further back Glóin had turned from helping his brother, and Dwalin recognized the fury in his face. 

And of course, Thorin, who stood in the middle of all of them, glaring from Nori to Dwalin, accusation in his face, still unsure of whether to turn against Nori, who was the obvious one to blame for the unexpected turn of events, or to Dwalin, who was the only one not acting surprised. 

“Can somebody explain,” he finally started, voice low, and making everyone around him shrink away slightly, “why one of my company is bearing a child and looks to be in the last few month already?”

Nori’s shoulders tensed but he did not speak, glaring back in defiance as if he was about to snap at their King. Dwalin knew that he was more likely to run, but there was nowhere to go and he shouldn’t even try, even with Dwalin’s help.

“Since when?” Thorin demanded. “Have you known of this before the quest or is this something you only discovered a few month ago?”

If Nori hadn’t known, it wouldn’t look as bad perhaps, but Dwalin saw how Nori glanced at him and then at Dori, eyes softening slightly.

“I knew before I signed on,” he said eventually, causing a brief uproar of questions being thrown his way.

“Nori!” 

There was only pain in Dori’s eyes now, and worry, as he called, but he didn’t move towards his brother yet. Nori bowed his head in guilt briefly, then looked up in defiance again.

Thorin’s expression hardened.

“You chose to join my quest knowing that you would do so bearing a child? Knowing what conditions awaited you?”

No Dwarf would choose to do such a thing unless it was absolutely necessary, and Dwalin could understand why everyone reacted as they did. He could see how Thorin struggled to understand, and maybe he would have done the same in his place.

“You knowingly put your child in danger?!” Glóin boomed then, taking a few steps towards them, face reddening. “You went on this quest knowing how hard the way will be and what we might face even though you knew you’re expecting? Are you mad or do you simply don’t care for the baby at all? What kind of bearer are you?”

Nori tensed again, lips twisting into a sneer. He shifted into a defensive position, just as Óin placed a hand on his brother’s elbow and Thorin took a step that put him between Glóin and Nori, but also closer to where the thief was. Everyone in the company turned, unsure about what to do and Dori edged closer, sudden determination on his face.

Dwalin would have taken a threatening step towards Glóin, but keeping his cousin from yelling at Nori wasn’t as important as staying by his side. He took half a step to be more in front of him than behind, and that didn’t go unnoticed. 

Thorin turned to Dwalin, half accusing.

“Did you know of this? And why did you not come to speak to me?”

“Aye, I knew,” Dwalin said without hesitation. Now that there was no use in denying that Nori was pregnant he would remain with him, taking full responsibility as the sire.

“Then why did you keep quiet?!”

“I asked him to,” Nori hissed as everyone was turning to Dwalin.

Dwalin curled one arm around Nori’s shoulders, and his other over his belly, protecting and pulling him out of the way, shielding him, and Nori tried to shove him off again. But instead of pushing, his hands curled around Dwalin’s sleeves and he leaned into the touch, watching everyone warily while Dwalin protected him.

Everyone was staring, nobody said a thing, though Dwalin saw how both Glóin and Thorin were still glaring, how there was realization in their faces, but still only anger in Glóin’s. They would know, or guess maybe, why Dwalin was acting like he did. The rumour of him and Nori being together was confirmed at least, and perhaps they would guess that he was the sire…

“How…” Bilbo’s small and nervous voice came from somewhere further back, breaking some of the tension. “I mean… how is he… how is Nori... Did I miss something?”

The attention was pulled from Nori for a few moments, and everyone turned to the Hobbit, or to their family to finally help each other assess the damage of the barrel ride.

Bofur slung an arm around Bilbo’s shoulder, nodding wisely and promising him to explain everything as soon as they were dry, which earned him a few dirty looks.

“We need to get out of here, to the town of Men,” Dwalin heard Balin say.

His brother was now standing close to Thorin, eyes turning to Dwalin and Nori briefly.

“This is the most important matter, _none_ of us should be out in the open, defenceless and cold.”

Thorin glared at Dwalin one last time, before turning to order everyone to hurry up. Ori said something about seeing something that might be a pier, so everyone turned there.

Nori’s grip tightened on Dwalin’s shirt, and he knew, this wasn’t the last of it. For now there was nothing he could do, apart from holding Nori as tight as he could, promising himself to not let them be parted again any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling with getting this chapter done for too long, but here it is now ;u;


	13. Chapter 13

Of all the things Dwalin did not want to deal with so soon after having the company snap at them, meeting Men was very high on the list. At least the Man they met had only pointed an arrow at them very briefly, startled by the company of Dwarves and a Hobbit perhaps. He even seemed to be ready to hear them out while he was loading the barrels onto his boat, and he wasn’t an Elf either.

Dwalin had held Nori close as soon as they approached the Man, but he must have seen him anyway, judging by how his eyes lingered on them.

And at least Balin managed to use that information to his advantage as he sweet-talked their potential key into Laketown. He mentioned that the Dwarves would be able to pay the Man, that he surely needed money for his children and family. As he spoke he subtly edged closer to where Nori was, making the Man have to really look in that direction.

“We are in need of help, and some of us desperately need more shelter and care than we can provide,” he said, and Dwalin felt how Nori tensed a little but did not move away as the Man looked him over.

“Aye,” he finally said. “I can bring you into Laketown, but I am not entirely sure if I know a safe way to make you reach my house completely unnoticed in your state.”

He did step aside and gestured at his boat though, saying, “But we can think of this on our way,” which made the entire company let out a sigh of relief.

Everyone climbed onto the boat, sitting down against the rail or looking towards the lake. Dwalin made sure that Nori did not stumble on his way up, gently holding him steady and not letting him go even for a second. Nori might not need the help, might not even want it, but Dwalin didn’t mean to let him go anyway. And seeming fragile might also let the Man be more willing to help as much as he could.

The boat floated away from the pier, and then the Man set to steer it towards their destination.

Everyone was watching Dwalin, everyone was tense and unsure, but nobody would want to argue on in this very second, and nobody would want the Man to know how much of a surprise the entire situation really was to them.

They soon left the river bank behind, and the Man seemed to pay less attention to what he was doing, letting the boat move in practiced motions. 

Dwalin felt the Man watching him, where he had helped Nori sit down as comfortable as was possible, and wrapped an arm around him. Before he could snap at the Man to mind his own business, he started speaking himself.

“It is cold,” he told Dwalin, “There are blankets underneath the prow, you should fetch them for your wife.”

Next to Dwalin Nori frowned, glancing up at the Man. Of course he wouldn’t be able to tell, even Dwarves wouldn’t have known without speaking with him, with the mess Nori’s hair was in. It was best not to comment on that.

“I’m not his wife,” Nori said, quietly, and before anyone could so much as glare at him he added, “I’m not a Dwarrowdam either.”

The Man looked down on him, and then at the tense faces of the company. His eyes widened a little and to Dwalin’s surprise he bowed his head.

“My apologies. It has been a while since the last time Dwarves have been anywhere near this region, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

He looked them over, concentration on his face.

“I am not used to reading signs, so please, tell me if there is anything else I should know…”

It was surprising that a Man knew so much that he had even just _heard_ of Dwarves having any sort of sign to indicate gender or any information about themselves. None of the company was currently wearing any that wasn’t meaningless, and even so their braids were in too much of a disarray to say anything at all.

Balin looked a little taken aback. He glanced towards where the youngest three were sitting then shook his head.

“We are all Dwarves as far as anyone is concerned right now. Is it usual for the people of your town to know this much of our ways?”

The Man shrugged.

“Not really. My name is Bard, and I am a descendant of the people of Dale. The old customs and courtesy of Dwarves had been described to me by my father, and his mother has told him about it before. Some remember, others don’t or just never had the opportunity to use their knowledge.”

Dwalin barely remembered interacting with the Men of Dale, but they _had_ known much about the people in the Lonely Mountain. Of course they would have adjusted to the ways of Dwarves. It was good to know that there still were Men like that.

Balin and Thorin exchanged a glance.

“It would be better to not depend on their understanding and act like in any town of Men.”

They spoke to Bard quietly, and in the corner the company was trying to soothe Glóin, whose mood wasn’t getting any better while having to hand over the coins that they now owed the Man. 

Dwalin didn’t care for it, he and Nori sat curled together, his arms around Nori and Nori’s hands clinging to his shirt. After a while Ori walked over to them, and handed their brother one of the blankets Bard had mentioned.

Nori barely managed a weak smile before sinking back into Dwalin’s arms, looking weary and exhausted and it got both Ori and Dwalin worried. Perhaps less so Dwalin, as he had had more time of expecting fatigue or sleepiness or anything, really.

Somewhere Balin and Thorin were still talking about how to best get into the town, and there was talk of secrecy and swimming through the icy water and hiding in the cold.

“That’s not really an option we should go with anymore,” Balin said, and Dwalin knew that they were all looking at Nori, but he couldn’t bother to take note of it.

There was more talk and Thorin and Balin kept talking to Bard and to Glóin, and everyone was coaxing gold out of him. Eventually they gathered the coins Balin had promised the Man, and some paper as well.

“We shall make everything official and act as if nothing is wrong,” Balin said with a wink at a mostly unimpressed company. 

From what little Dwalin even listened to he could gather that the Dwarves and Bilbo were simply supposed to sit down between the barrels, and Bard would give the gate keepers a letter addressed to the Master of the town. Whatever problems Bard might have, or whatever might make the Dwarves entering Laketown a tricky thing, Balin simply planed to take everyone by surprise with diplomacy. 

It was true, perhaps, that the guards would simply see Bard and Balin being all official, and then also be surprised by the presence of Dwarves and do what they were told. Bard watched them sceptically as Balin turned away to write a short note with promises or whatever it was he thought would work best.

The boat carried them towards the town build above the water, and then the Dwarves crouched down to not pull too much attention to themselves. Dwalin did not look up, did not look at the Men or at what Bard was doing. He only held Nori closer and buried his face in his messy hair, and pulled Nori against his chest.

On the other side of Nori, Ori leaned against him, and Dori sat down next to his sibling. They both glanced at Nori, but Dwalin only saw that briefly, ignoring the rest of their reactions. He did not want to see what he had done to Nori’s siblings by agreeing to be silent, by doing what his lover had requested and by… causing any of this.

The boat turned and got slower, and eventually there was the soft thud of docking on to the pier and a voice calling ‘father’.

The boy waiting for Bard couldn’t be very old, he looked small as far as Men went and there was not even the tiniest bit of beard growth on his face. He stared in wonder as the Dwarves were ushered into the house behind them.

Dwalin held on to Nori leading him inside, ready to fight should anything suspicious catch his eye but also not willing to let Nori be seen by too many of the townspeople.

Inside there were voices, and then two girls ran towards the door, first with happy expectation, and then looking at the Dwarves in confusion. One looked nearly like a woman grown, but Dwalin had never been sure how to judge the age of young Men, without any beard growth of braids or signs showing maturity. The other was clearly a young child, and she looked excited at seeing Dwarves.

Inside Bard quickly closed the door and after greeting his daughters he told them to fetch food and prepare warm and dry things for their guest. The oldest, Sigrid, only took a few seconds more to stare at the Dwarves but then she and her brothers scurried off to prepare everything in the small house. 

The younger remained at the table, watching the Dwarves shuffling around awkwardly with fascination on her face.

Dwalin did not want to let go of Nori, but he had to when Nori sat down on a stool, curling further into his blanket and sighing tiredly, and when Bain handed them old shirts and coats. Dori was at his side then, a comb in hand and saying something about buckets of warm water they’d be able to use for cleaning themselves.

Óin made Bard’s son show him where they had herbs or supplies, and loudly reminded everyone that he’d be checking on whether anyone was injured right afterwards.

Bombur and Bifur sat in another corner near the fire; Ori was pulled into a hug by the princesses, though they still glanced at where their brothers sat in worry. The three whispered amongst each other but none would say anything in the Men’s presence. 

Thorin was still glaring, and Dwalin knew he’d be demanding answers, if it weren’t for the outsiders so close to them. He watched Nori, trying to figure him out, trying to understand, and sometimes he looked at Dwalin with accusation and a half suspicious half questioning glare. 

Glóin was muttering something under his breath, and Balin looked as if all way in order. Dwalin did not know what exactly _they_ were thinking, but he did not want to deal with that either.

Sigrid was still carrying the buckets, while helping her father with clearing the table, so Dwalin joined her to grumble about helping her. He still would be close to Nori that way, but actually able to do something as well.

As everyone was settling down, and trying to clean up their clothes or hair, everyone was also getting calmer and quieter. Dori was done brushing Nori’s hair, and after softly squeezing his shoulder he got up to look for Ori.

Nori glanced down into his hot tea, looking weary, but still the free space was occupied by little Tilda, who sat down next to him and smiled.

“Mister Dwarf?” she asked, nearly startling Nori who had been paying more attention to the Dwarves than to the Men.

“You can call me Nori,” he said, lips twitching slightly.

“Mister Nori then. Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything you want.”

As Tilda looked him over, Bilbo made his way towards them, cradling another cup in his hands and looking tiny wrapped into the blankets he had been given, and Bofur leaned against the wall near to where the Hobbit sat down.

“Are you pregnant?” Tilda asked, looking at Nori’s stomach with interest. Dwalin tensed briefly, but nobody else in the company said something, and perhaps they didn’t even care about a child asking.

Nori looked surprised at the question for a moment, and then he smiled and put a hand on his stomach.

“Obvious, I suppose. Yes, I am.”

“Oh!” Tilda leaned closer, even more excitement on her face. “You’ll be getting a baby? I’ve never heard of anyone who’d seen Dwarf babies at all. Not even those who travelled to trade. Will it be long still?”

“Another month I think. Perhaps a little more.”

Both Tilda and Bilbo, who had watched with a neutral expression, looked amazed at that. 

“But you aren’t that big at all,” Tilda observed and Bilbo frowned as he finally looked at Nori’s stomach openly.

“Isn’t that too soon?”

Bofur laughed and Nori turned to look at the Hobbit, frowning as well.

“I’m not doing this for any longer than that Master Burglar. S’ already too much.”

Bofur grinned down at Bilbo and then looked at the child.

“Dwarves never get that much bigger when bearing. My brother’s wife used to say that nothing would get done if anything became any more big and uncomfortable. How big do your bearers get then? Or Hobbit ones?”

Tilda considered for a moment then mimicked before herself with her hands.

“Like this.”

Bilbo nodded and took a sip of his tea before adding:

“Same with out Hobbit women. One of my acquaintances had twins and she got even larger than that. Everyone kept betting that she might even have three babes. You’re still very small in Hobbit terms.”

Nori winced and Bofur frowned in sympathy. 

“Well, I am a heavily pregnant Dwarf,” Nori muttered and then Óin was shuffling past Bofur and Bilbo to sit down by Nori’s side.

“A heavily pregnant Dwarf who’s way overdue in terms of making sure that he and the baby are fine.”

Óin glared up sharply, but Nori didn’t protest.

Nobody else of the company came to hover, Dori was still busy with Ori, and everyone knew better than to disturb Óin at his work. Bofur and Bilbo did not move away, as they weren’t sitting too close, and Óin didn’t tell anyone that they were bothering.

Sigrid was done with helping her father; so she joined to stand behind her sister, worry on her face for some reason. The corner they were all gathering was nearly private, very close to the bed as well, so Óin made Nori change locations and sit down on the blankets.

Dwalin walked closer as well, positioning himself so that the company couldn’t look past him at least. He crossed his arms and he knew that the way he was glaring and puffing his chest was a bother probably.

Nori’s eyes narrowed in a smile at the sight of him, so that was fine. Óin looked up at his cousin, calculation in his eyes, and for a moment Dwalin thought that he’d be chased away, then his cousin’s expression changed to understanding and he returned his attention to Nori.   
They watched silently as Óin first checked Nori’s breathing and his pulse, and then made him lift his tunic to look at his stomach.

At this point Tilda started chatting again, making all but Dwalin turn their attention to her.

“Do you think it’ll be a Dwarf boy or a Dwarf girl?”

Nori looked at her, eyes shining slightly.

“I haven’t thought much about it… I just hope that my child will get the best of each family.”

His eyes flickered to Dwalin and then back down, and he was smiling. They hadn’t talked enough about this, and Dwalin barely supressed his own smile. 

Tilda nodded, watching Óin prod and feel. Bofur started telling Bilbo something about his little nieces and nephews.

Sigrid eventually stepped forward, not moving past Dwalin though.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, “anything at all, or something for the future. I still have some things, from when Ma was pregnant.”

Óin waved her off, but thanked her all the same. 

Bofur watcher her though, sympathy on his face.

“How was it with your Ma?” he asked, voice gentle. Dwalin remembered something about Bard mentioning his wife being dead, so he glanced towards the girls briefly. 

Tilda barely showed any emotion when Bofur mentioned their mother, still watching Nori and Óin, and Sigrid bowed her head slightly.

“I barely remember how it was with Bain,” Sigrid said. “But the second time everything seemed fine before Ma got ill. It was winter and the birth had left her very weak. I don’t know, maybe it was the cold, or too little food or medicine… She never managed to recover and a few months later…”

Sigrid looked away, and Bofur muttered something about being sorry and feeling what she did. Dwalin stared at Nori, who was listening to Óin, and then turned to look at the girl.

Winter, she had said. Winters around Erebor were quite harsh, Dwalin knew that, and of course their supplies would run low should they be stuck in the mountain. It couldn’t be too bad, but having a child was never completely safe, but in winter…

Sudden worry clawed at Dwalin’s chest, and he firmly pushed it aside. He could not let himself think too far ahead with all that they’d still need to deal with.

“Everything is as it should be,” Óin said loudly then, chasing away Dwalin’s fear briefly. “Your child is fine, you are fine, you will just need better food and less excitement at once now.”

The healer stood up, making room for Dwalin and Dwalin didn’t even care about how his cousin was looking at him. Nori pulled his tunic down and then Dwalin was at his side, sitting down at the edge of the bed and offering him a hand to pull him up.

Nori smiled and leaned into Dwalin’s hands once he was sitting, and laced his fingers through Dwalin’s before pulling their hands towards his stomach. 

“We’ll be fine. Takes more than an icy river to knock me out.”

Dwalin shook his head and briefly tapped his forehead against Nori’s. Best not to think of anything bad now.

Behind there was the soft creak of the floorboard, and Dwalin knew that those closest were turning away politely. 

There wasn’t much time to just enjoy the closeness and safety, and there was a knock at the door. It was one of the town’s guards, saying something about the Master of Laketown being ready to welcome the Dwarves, and that he had organized some sort of party as soon as he had heard of their presence. 

Bard looked resigned at that, glancing at the Dwarves, and Thorin just braced himself and told everyone to get ready and come along with him. Sigrid handed them an old coat, and Nori managed to arrange his clothes so that his belly was nearly invisible, and at least nobody would recognize him as being a bearer that way.

The company mostly glanced silently as Dwalin and Nori passed them and joined the ranks, but nobody said a thing. They would go through that welcome party, and afterwards Dwalin knew they’d either have to figure out how they were supposed to wait for Durin’s Day, or stand up before the company. It didn’t matter for now, and Dwalin held Nori’s hand as they walked out into the cold and through the snowflakes falling down on them from above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;u;''' well... please do tell me if I'm doing something wrong here
> 
> by the way, I'm still not sure how or if it'll be mentioned, but in this story Glóin and Bifur are ftm, Kíli is mtf, Fíli is a Dwarrowdam, and Ori always prefers gender neutral pronouns.


	14. Chapter 14

The Dwarves had been treated as heroes, as the ones who’d bring gold and the prosperity of old, as the ones who’d reclaim the fallen city of Dale and either bring life into the desolation or defeat the Dragon, if he wasn’t already dead.

There had been a feast and with all the food they could ask for, and their cups were nearly overflowing with ale and mead. Fires warmed them and though the tables for the party stood outside and in the snow, the warm furs and blankets everyone passed around kept the Dwarves from freezing.

The Master, an old Man who once might have been sturdy or noble looking, spoke about the future, and then Thorin talked about their mountain and the old glory of both realms. Bard was there, looking all unhappy, but the cheers of the townspeople drowned out anything that came after.

Through everything Dwalin ate all he was given, and helped Nori separate anything that he shouldn’t be eating or drinking. Neither of them drank much as most was ale, and most of the others didn’t either. 

By the time the Master offered the Dwarves a house to stay in until they went further on their quest, it was night and even through the few clouds, the gentle snow and the fire all around them, Dwalin could see stars above. They were all full and tired then, and the promise of a house and beds and warmth and a prolonged safe space sounded best to them.

Dwalin held his arm around Nori as they walked, followed by the Men and their happy voices, and he thought anyone might assume that Nori was just drunk.

Nori didn’t look too tired, but if Dwalin could choose, he’d carry him to bed and take advantage of actually having a safe bed and the possibility to sleep curled around his lover after an entire month of not even getting to see him.

Of course, Dwalin had no choice, and even just one look from Thorin told him that he would not be excused and left to hide away with Nori till the morning. 

As soon as the Men showed them the house and the direction of the main rooms as well as the pantry, and as soon as they left and closed the doors behind them, Thorin turned to Dwalin and Nori, his eyes flashing in anger.

“Now. Will you explain how this was not brought to my attention earlier?”

The company went quiet, all glancing from the two to Thorin, moving away or spreading through the room, barely daring to make a noise. 

Nori clenched his teeth, looking at Thorin with a hard gaze.

“You’d have sent me away if you knew, towards the nearest settlement of Dwarves and with that the nearest prison.”

There was a soft murmur and Dwalin gently squeezed Nori’s shoulder. He had kept quiet for too long, and now he should speak as he pleased. 

Thorin’s eyes flickered over Dwalin’s hand, then he turned to glare at Nori again.

“You put yourself and your child in danger for a royal pardon? I would not have thought you to be as ruthless as that.”

Behind him Glóin crossed his arms.

“He’d have his gold and freedom, a child is nothing to the likes of him it seems.”

Nori hissed at the words, and Dwalin felt his shoulders move so that he was in a defensive position, and ready to draw knives, if he still had them. He gently pulled Nori closer to prevent that, but glared at his cousins all the same.

“My child is everything! What do you think would have happened in the prisons? I’d have given birth there, and my child would be taken from me! No, I had the choice of loosing everything or taking the risk!”

Thorin threw a glance at Balin, but he subtly bowed his head, a sign of not knowing the answers his King was seeking. 

“They do not let criminals keep their children, they do not leave babies in the prisons,” Nori went on, “they’d have _taken_ my child and I’d never have the right to see it again, and I couldn’t have fled all the time, I couldn’t have _stolen_ my child back either.”

Somewhere on their right Dori made a soft noise of pain, and when Dwalin turned he saw the mithril-haired Dwarf wringing his hands.

“Nori,” he cried, before Thorin could say another thing. “Nori, whatever you feared, you should have told me! I could have stayed and protected you from the guard. I could have found a way to keep you at home, to keep your child with _us_ even if that’d have failed. Didn’t you trust us, Nori?”

There was so much sadness in his voice, and some accusation, and Nori seemed to shrink under his brother’s gaze.

“I didn’t want you to stay for me. You had already signed on, this was important to you. For the honour of our people… for the honour of our line. I couldn’t keep you.”

Dori’s face twisted in pain and he turned away, mouthing something that Dwalin wasn’t sure of. Thorin glanced between them, frowning.

“So you decided that the only possible way to keep your child was to throw yourself into this quest? Didn’t you know what sorts of dangers awaited you? Nobody could have known how bad it’ll get but even so this quest is no place for a bearing Dwarf!”

“I’d have died before giving up without a fight.”

Dwalin’s fingers clenched slightly, as he imagined Nori dead, and there was the muttering again.

“People do all sorts of things to keep their children safe,” Bofur said, but the raised voices drowned him out.

“You would have killed your child!” Glóin bellowed, his face reddening. “You should have stayed and let them take your child, at least then there’d be safety and a family to take care of them.”

“I’d never let my child be taken!”

“Then you shouldn’t have had one in the first place! You couldn’t care for one, you are a wanted thief in Ered Luin this moment, your family was ready to leave on the quest. This is no time for a child if prison or death is your only option! Better for you to rot in prison and think of the consequences of what you do without having a child whose life you jeopardize.”

Nori’s laugh was near hysterical, and Dwalin saw him sneer at his cousin.

“Easy for you to say! You had a good time with yours, didn’t you? A rich and respectable merchant wanting for nothing, able to make sure that everything is as he wants it to be, decided that he wants a child and there he goes to bear one, and all is exactly as he planed it to be! 

Well, some of us wish for a child, wish for that child to be born in safety and with a sire, who can be there for the child openly, and then we do anything to make sure nothing happens too soon. But see, Mahal gives his gifts as he pleases and then we find ourselves fighting to make sure that those are not taken from us because it was inconvenient. Some of us happen to find a lover and fuck them and then find ourselves with our belly swollen.”

Nori made a rude gesture at Glóin, who blanched at the words.

“Do not speak to me as if I am a bad parent. I have done everything I could, but now that I’ll have a child anyway I will do all I can to not loose all hopes I ever had for a family, just because this happened sooner than I wished for.”

He leaned against Dwalin, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself. Out of the corner of his eyes Dwalin could see sympathy in their companions’ faces. That was good perhaps.

Thorin rubbed his temples, and waved off as Glóin opened his mouth again.

“Peace cousin, Nori does not seem to care for your opinion.”

He looked at the thief, tired but his initial anger was soothed.

“You are a good Dwarf,” he started, “I have come to know you on this quest and I do not believe you’d do something like this out of malice. But why did you do this? Why didn’t you… Where is the child’s sire, if you know? Why did you decide to make Dwalin lie to me and how did you convince him.”

He turned to Dwalin then, accusing, again. He looked at the way Dwalin was holding on to Nori, and at how Nori was turning into his touch to calm himself, and then at Dwalin’s face.

“I would have thought better of you, Dwalin. That you’d lie because of whatever Nori asked of you?”

Dwalin tightened his grip, ignoring the soft noise of complaint. 

“Nori never asked me to do something before. And I would do anything for him, I’d do anything for the child.”

There was frustration in Thorin’s eyes, and Balin glanced at his brother.

“Anything?” he asked “anything just because Nori asks?”

Dwalin clenched his teeth, trying not to snap and try to defend Nori and his honour. He knew that Balin might be implying that Nori was using him, as he had at Beorn’s, but this was as far from the truth as it could get.

In the corner the princesses moved, and Fíli looked at Nori with concern in her eyes.

“That does not matter. What matters, is that a bearing Dwarf was pushed to a point where he’d think this quest was his only way out.”

Nearly everyone nodded at that and again Dwalin saw the sympathy.

“What about the sire? Who is he?” Kíli asked softly and her sister nodded, though this wasn’t usually a topic one addressed too much.

Eyes turned to Nori again.

“Why couldn’t you ask the sire to recognize their child?” Bofur asked and Nori shook his head.

“My child’s father… He-“

“He should take responsibility,” Dori said quietly and there was a murmur of agreement, though Óin opened his mouth as if to say something.

“Yes,” Thorin agreed, “you could have turned to the father or his family, they should have taken you in while your family is gone. Or at least the one you’d like to be the father, if you don’t know who. Anything, no matter how dishonourable, would have been better.”

Nori rolled his eyes and Dwalin shook his head.

“I am already doing what I can to protect them,” he said but Thorin silenced him with a gesture.

“I do not want to speak of your infatuation with Nori now. Or anything it has caused you to do. This is serious and I want to understand what could have driven anyone to do such a thing.”

“Dwalin is the father,” Nori said quietly.

“A thief’s child, claimed by one of Durin’s line,” Glóin scoffed and waved them off, now near amused by how ridiculous he found this. “Exactly what’d suit you, right? How did you agree to this, cousin?”

Dwalin glared, and Nori raised his chin proudly.

“I am carrying one of the line of Durin in me, I do not care what you think of this.”

Thorin seemed to be getting increasingly annoyed by that turn in the conversation.

“Not Dwalin, Nori. I am telling you that you should have turned to the sire, at least somehow. Who was he? If you know?”

Nori stared at them, and Thorin and Balin were watching him intently, and everyone was staring.

“As I said,” Nori started again, speaking slowly. “Dwalin, and he already did more than I could have dared to demand.”

“Nori,” Thorin’s voice was a hiss and a warning at how he was slowly reaching the end of his patience. “The _sire_ , not who you’re with right now-“

“Oh for Mahal’s sake!” Óin cried then, walking up between them, out from whatever corner he had watched the argument unfold.

“ _Dwalin_ is the sire! Dwalin is the one who knocked up our little thief, and he loves him and his child. He’d do anything for the two, he’d do what Nori asks, he worries for both of them, and more than just a ‘current lover’ would. He even looks guilty when Nori shows any signs of discomfort! Did none of you see how he’s fuzzing and hovering and being all tender and sweet? Are you blind perhaps?”

One might have heard a feather drop to the floor in the silence that followed.

Everyone stared at Óin, then at Thorin who didn’t seemed to know what to reply, and then at Nori, who stood unflinching, and Dwalin who used the opportunity to pull the smaller even further into a protective embrace, holding his arm over Nori’s belly as well.

Finally it was Bofur’s laugh that broke the tension.

“So my wager on you two already fucking is well and truly won?”

Dori made a strangled sound and there was some snickering, Balin closed his eyes at the words and Thorin stared at the miner, while Fíli’s lips twitched and Kíli didn’t even manage to stifle her laughter.

Nori rolled his eyes but nodded at Bofur, and Dwalin didn’t know what to reply.

“But how…” Dori eventually said, and shot Bofur a murderous glare when he opened his mouth and raised his finger for a clever remark. “How did this happen, why did you never speak of this.”

“It is admirable,” Balin started as well, “how you stick up for a family you have created on accident, and how you own up to mistakes, but how come you never told us? We might have figured something out. You didn’t have to lie just for…” he made a gesture that seemed to indicated both Dwalin and Nori, “this. Was it really something you’d want to deceive your family for?”

The Dwarves sobered up a little, and Nori turned his head down. Dwalin glanced at him, and then at his brother.

“It is not a mistake. Neither of us wanted to have a child now. But I didn’t create a family on accident. I have known Nori for decades, we have been lovers for years and I’d gladly wear his braids and claim him as my husband.”

They had not expected that, Dwalin could tell. Of course not, neither he nor Nori acted like courting Dwarves after all. Nori’s fingers curled around Dwalin’s hand, squeezing gently.

“There had always been something that made us think it wouldn’t be safe to even be open about our relationship. A warrior of noble blood and a thief with an increasingly bad reputation? We figured we’d rather wait for a time when we could live in peace and not care for anyone’s opinion or approval.”

Dwalin glared at Thorin and Balin as both of them looked as if they were about to say something. He knew that they’d say something about how they’d have supported him, if he’d just ask, but it wasn’t true, and they wouldn’t have before getting to know Nori on the quest.

“’s too late for that now,” Nori whispered, and his fingers interlaced with Dwalin’s, where they rested above his belly. “What is done is done and I would have done everything all over again, in the same situation.”

Thorin bowed his head slightly, the sympathy Dwalin had seen with the others finally reaching him as well. Or maybe he had felt sorry for Nori before, but the anger over being betrayed like that had been stronger.

Dwalin saw how everyone was turning to the one next to them, saw how Dori’s shoulders slumped and how Ori was fumbling with their scarf. Kíli looked upset and Fíli gently squeezed her shoulder, Glóin was still glaring and Balin was frowning, and only Bilbo was blinking tiredly at everyone, struggling with just following everyone’s talk.

Óin looked from Thorin, who really didn’t look like he was truly done with this, and then at Nori who was leaning into Dwalin and had most of his weight resting against him by now.

“We should continue this tomorrow, when we’re not overtired and still trying to wrap our minds around this.”

Thorin opened his mouth to protest but Óin gave him his best stern look.

“A bearing Dwarf should not be up for so long so late into the pregnancy,” he said “and none of you should be up after all we’ve been through. Off with you, I do not want to see anyone out of bed in the next ten minutes.”

The Dwarves shrunk back from the healer’s loud tone, but they obeyed nonetheless. Dwalin was glad for it, and Nori tugged at his hands to lead him away towards any of the room furthest from where Thorin and his closest kin turned. They watched Dwalin go but none of them stopped them.

Dori made a few steps towards Nori, looking pained and confused, and he reached out to his brother but then shook his head and left him be for now, turning to go with a worried Ori instead.

Nori chose a narrow staircase leading up to where the sleeping rooms were, and after Dwalin tried several doors they found one of the bedrooms, small perhaps, but with a soft bed and a large window looking out over the dark lake.

“Well then,” Nori said and let himself fall onto the bed. “This went nicely, didn’t it?”

There was bitterness in his voice and he didn’t meet Dwalin’s eye when he kicked off his boots and joined Nori on the bed. He shrugged off his coat and the heavier clothes, then helped Nori out of his, before pulling him down between the blankets and leaning over him to rest his forehead against his stomach.

“We are fine and you two are healthy, I couldn’t ask for more now.”

“Really? They can still decide that they don’t believe us. They can still send us back, they can decide that I deserve prison and that you aren’t trustworthy anymore. Anything…”

He sighed and Dwalin took his hands.

“I won’t let them.”

Nori watched him for a few moments, eyes glinting in the dim light from outside. Then he nodded and pulled Dwalin up, tugged at his beard and leaned up for a kiss, all urgency and teeth scraping against Dwalin’s lips.

Dwalin buried his hands in Nori’s hair, felt the softness of it and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and trying but failing to keep everything gentle and soft. 

Eventually Nori let go of him, pressing their foreheads together and breathing hard.

“Good,” he just said, and lowered his hands to clench around Dwalin’s shirt. Then he rolled around awkwardly, burying himself in the blankets and the pillows, leaving Dwalin to watch him for a while, before joining him under the blankets.

Dwalin felt every muscle in his body ache slightly, from exhaustion and the wild river ride. The softness of the bed and the warmth from the fireplaces somewhere close by where bliss after all they had been through since Beorn’s.

He couldn’t tell when Nori fell asleep, but as they lay in bed, close enough to each other for Dwalin to feel the warmth of his body, and their hands still clasped, he could feel the tension and worry drain from his mind until he was at peace, even if just for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glóin was the one who bore Gimli, even before meeting his wife, as he figured he has everything but a child, so why wait. I borrowed that headcanon from Thorinsmut


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightmares and more or less rational fears of loss in this one

The following day was cold and grey, and when Dwalin woke Nori was still securely in his arms. Everything was good, and far better than it had been in months, and right after waking up Dwalin could see that his thief was fine and that he wasn’t pale and didn’t look sick.

Nori’s breathing was soft and calm, his face was pressed against the pillows and strands of hair stuck to his cheek. He looked lovely like that, and just knowing that the separation and uncertainty they had been in in the Mirkwood was over now and the ability to see him calmed Dwalin’s worries.

He had failed to do his duty these past months, as the sire and father of their child, hadn’t even been there to make sure that Nori had everything and was as comfortable as possible. And before that Dwalin hadn’t been able to do so openly.

Perhaps Nori hadn’t even needed much more than what he had been able to provide. Dwarves were made sturdy and able to withstand so much more of the world than other races, they could endure hardship and still come out whole, and their bearing wasn’t much different. But Dwarves were never meant to be alone in what they did.

Secretive as he might be, Nori should have had to keep _this_ a secret. No pregnancy should be hidden. Nori should have been able to be open about it, so that everyone would know at least, know what to expect and be able to silently offer support or the option of asking for advice, should he and Dwalin want that. 

There should have been joy and expectation in both their families, in an ideal situation their brothers and cousins would have already started with traditional and personal gifts, for their firstborn and the new union of two families.

Now that secrecy was over at least. There would be no more attempts to hide how Nori wasn’t just lean and small now, no need to hide any of the signs or how he grew tired quicker. Dwalin could openly show signs of affection and finally do something for him.

A part of Dwalin felt guilty for how satisfied he was about yesterday, and how the company knowing would let him be as blunt about things as he wanted to be. The secret being out was what he had wanted, in a way, to not keep quiet and to not feel guilty about lying.

That was a selfish thought he had there, and Dwalin had to close his eyes for just a moment.

It was selfish of him to think like this, even for a second, to think that his need to _care_ for Nori should be fulfilled like that. His instinctive reaction was not what was best for Nori and their child in this situation.

What would the company decide after having a night to think it through? Would Balin decide that he had acted wrong and should bear consequences? What if Thorin wanted to send Nori away, or keep him in Laketown, or anything like they had tried to avoid?

Dwalin’s wish to be blunt and do what he wanted openly might yet prove the worst option they had. He’d get to play expecting father for a while, and then what?

Dwalin opened his eyes again and reached out to gently tuck some of Nori’s escaped strands of hair back, watching him sleep. He’d need to remember for him, remember that now he couldn’t rely on how he had been brought up and how any honest Dwarf needed to act. Now he’d have to _think_ about what was best and not act on instinct alone.

He watched Nori’s calm face for a few moments, counted his breaths, and then glanced down. He would need to learn this for the child as well. Nobody could use a father who tried to do what was best but only made things worse. 

Dwalin stroked his free hand down Nori’s side, smoothing out the wrinkles of his tunic and stopping at the waist, before spreading his palm over the swell of his stomach. Soon they’d have the child, and Dwalin would do anything to protect it, anything to make sure that Nori was safe until then, from the world and the company’s words and actions as well.

He really would do anything, he realized, anything to stay at their sides. He doubted that he would stand to be parted from them ever again, not after Mirkwood. Not for anything in the world.

With his palm firmly over the bump Dwalin stared at it for several moments, thinking about what he should do. There was no real change in how they were lying, but then Dwalin thought he heard the sounds around him change subtly, and when he looked up Nori’s golden eyes were open and watching him.

Dwalin stilled, but Nori shifted closer, pressing against him.

“Good morning,” Dwalin muttered, leaning over Nori, and Nori sighed.

“Hm.”

“What’s the matter? Do you need anything? Are you unwell?”

Nori shook his head.

“I just don’t relish the thought of getting up and facing judgement.”

“I won’t let them say a bad thing.”

“Hm, barely care about that, compared to what I’ve been called in my life already. No, I do not want to sit and wait until our high lords have judged and decided what to _do_ with me.”

Dwalin’s wrapped Nori in his arms, holding him close.

“Whatever they decide, I’m here with you, I won’t let them do you any harm. And the child stays with us as well.”

Nori didn’t look cheered up at that, but he nodded and hid his face against Dwalin’s neck.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, and Dwalin stroked over Nori’s hair and wondered about what he could do to make him feel safe.

Eventually Nori let go of Dwalin, grumbling and crawling out from underneath the blankets.

“Need a bathroom,” he muttered, then slid from the bed and out the door. Dwalin watched him go and rubbed his hand over his face tiredly. 

He climbed down as well; searching the room and finding mostly empty shelves, but also a trunk with old torn blankets and a basin of cold water. That would do just as well as hot water, and Dwalin set to wash himself with a sponge.

He managed to clean himself up and dress in the oversized but warm clothes the Men had given them the day before, and then examined the room some more by the time Nori returned, hair and clothes neat as always, and his too large coat hiding his belly nearly completely. 

Nori took Dwalin’s hand briefly, staring down at it, before he shrugged and pulled Dwalin along towards where the kitchen was, and Dwalin could smell breakfast being made.

The company was spread across the kitchen, the living room and the little chambers around these, and some seemed to be outside on the ledge over the lake. The kitchen looked like the best place to remain, as only Bombur ad Bilbo were there, with some of the others only dropping by to take some pastries or fried sausages now and then.

Bilbo looked pale and sick, sitting next to the fireplace and cradling a cup of tea, and Bombur seemed to be busy to try and make up for two months of too little food by providing as much of it as possible now.

He looked up as Nori and Dwalin sat down on the too high chairs, then turned to what he had been doing.

There was a little basket with bread sitting on the table, and just as Nori was about to reach for it, Bombur scurried over and put a full plate in front of him. It was filled freshly fried potatoes and sausages, along with onions and some cooked vegetables and pancakes, and all of it was nearly falling of the dish.

“I am sorry,” Bombur said, looking worried. “If I had known before I’d have given you more food each day. And food that’s good when bearing. I know some teas, they always helped my wife when she felt sick in the mornings and some food that never made her sick at all.”

Nori watched him, surprised at how genuinely upset Bombur seemed to be about not being of any help. Then he shrugged awkwardly, trying to thank the cook and reassure him that it was fine.

Bilbo watched them from his corner as Bombur hurried around to put more food on the table, and Dwalin smiled a little. At least some of the company acted as if this was… normal.

After the breakfast there wasn’t much to be done in the house. Nearly everyone was lazing around, and before they got the weapons and supplies the Men had promised them, there wouldn’t be any work they could be done anyway.

Some said something about walking out and looking around the town, watch the fishermen or just explore everything, but Nori shook his head and said he didn’t feel like it, and didn’t feel like carefully checking whether his stomach looked flat every step. None of them wanted the Men to know about there being bearers in the company, and a pregnant Dwarf at that. 

Nori had picked out a soft blanket from somewhere, old, torn and not really large enough to comfortably cover a fully grown Dwarf. Still, the first day Nori barely did anything but work on the old thing, tying up the frayed edges and knotting patterns into them.

Everyone was glancing at him every once in a while, and Dwalin made sure that he was always sitting near him, or at least remained within sight. 

He spared with Fíli and Kíli that day, both of them bored in the house. It was good to build up endurance again, and it helped him take his mind off the way everyone was staring at Nori.

Glóin was the most obvious, still mad about how irresponsible Nori acted, even if he didn’t go to tell him directly anymore. Balin, Óin, Thorin and him kept talking about something, whispering furiously or going into a room where they wouldn’t be overheard. 

They were talking about the quest, perhaps, but to Dwalin it seemed more likely that they were deciding over Nori’s fate. He could see Nori glancing towards them sometimes, each time shrinking into himself or clutching his coat and the blanket harder.

At one point around lunch Dwalin went to relieve himself, and on his way back to the common room he was intercepted by Balin.

“Why did you never tell?” he asked simply, looking up at his little brother.

Dwalin ducked his head, but didn’t reply, and Balin sighed.

“Your romance with the thief, it is serious isn’t it?”

“The most serious thing in my life,” Dwalin said firmly. “I would have married him years ago, if I could.”

Balin’s dark eyes searched his face, looking for what, Dwalin couldn’t tell. Eventually Balin nodded and stepped aside to let Dwalin pass.

“We will figure this out,” he promised, and he sounded resigned but not unkind as he said it.

When Dwalin returned to the room, he saw Ori hovering at the door, looking towards their brothers and frowning. Nori still sat hunched over his blanket, fingers tangled in loose threads, and Dori was sitting across from him, looking tense and pale as he whispered something.

As he noticed Dwalin approaching he gave his little brother one last lingering look, before standing up and leaving to where Óin and Bifur were drinking tea.

At Dwalin’s questions about whether he was all right Nori just shook his head and said he didn’t want to talk about it. He leaned into Dwalin’s side and didn’t speak another word.

Towards the evening Thorin finally decided to stop brooding over things on his own, and go to meet the Master of Laketown and talk to some of the Men about what they needed.

“We have been promised weapons and provisions,” he told the company, “and we need to discuss specifics with them.”

It made sense, and Balin, Glóin and Fíli joined him at his request. Then Thorin glanced towards Dwalin, who hadn’t moved from where he and Kíli were sorting through the wooden swords she had found in one of the storage rooms.

“Dwalin? Will you come?”

Dwalin glanced up at Thorin and the ones who had already put on warmer coats, then towards where Nori was deliberately not looking up from the blanket.

Usually Dwalin would have been the first to join Thorin, always going where he went and never leaving his side, always there to protect the King and his oldest friend.

But now he was within sight of Nori and he and his child needed Dwalin more than Thorin this very moment. He had to be there for them, not like he hadn’t during the journey. Even if he wasn’t doing anything, he at least could make sure that Nori wouldn’t _need_ anything.

“No, I’ll stay here,” he said and shrugged. 

Thorin’s face hardened, and he starred at Dwalin and then at Nori. Behind him Balin was giving Dwalin a strange and slightly worried look, but then Thorin turned and walked out and the others followed him.

A few minutes after they were gone Nori put down the blanket in his lap and stared at his hands, looking lost. Dwalin gave Kíli the remaining swords and got up, walked over and quietly asked Nori whether he was fine.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Nori said, but when Dwalin asked what exactly he meant he just shook his head and didn’t say another word.

Thorin avoided both of them once he was back, choosing to spar with Kíli and Balin, and then going to his room right after.

There was some time to kill before it was really time to go to sleep, and Bofur started telling stories about his nieces and nephews, laughing at the few times Bombur told him not to make up details. It was fun to listen to, and the mood was relaxed, but Nori barely moved and avoided all eye contact. 

It was still early when he got up and muttered something about going to bed and feeling tired. Dwalin got up as well, while the rest of the company watched Nori go with worried or sympathetic expressions.

“You shouldn’t go sleep just because I am,” Nori said when Dwalin caught up to him in the corridor. 

“I want to though.”

Nori watched him, eyes way too tired for not doing anything hard all day, and then he shrugged and made his way towards their bed.

Dwalin wasn’t feeling tired but he was used to sleeping when there was the opportunity for it. That night Nori curled up facing away from Dwalin, not up against him like he usually did. They didn’t speak and Dwalin nearly drifted off to sleep a few times, but tried to stay awake for as long as Nori did.

Nori didn’t sleep though, barely moving from where he was curled up but shifting around a little, and being too tense to be mistaken for someone who was sleeping. He shivered occasionally, or adjusted his blankets but he didn’t sleep.

Dwalin watched this for a while, and then he gently put his hand on Nori’s shoulder and leaned towards him.

“Do you have trouble sleeping?” he asked, nuzzling his face against Nori’s hair and rubbing his arm.

“Mh, ‘m cold,” Nori muttered.

He was tense when Dwalin pulled him against his chest and wrapped his arms around his body. Then he sighed and relaxed and didn’t move around again.

Dwalin managed to stay up until he was sure that Nori was sleeping, and then he let himself drift off as well.

The next day was much like the first.

Nori hid in his corner, just with some threads and needles and the old blanket and he tried to avoid everyone. He barely ate, even though Bombur made sure that there was food within his reach at all times. 

Dwalin felt more and more nervous about leaving him alone and stepping away for more than a few feet. Nori looking as if he was about to run and hide set Dwalin on edge and he did his best not to show it to not further upset Nori.

Óin checked him over again, telling him that his child would big and healthy, that everything was as it should be, that there were no complications in the pregnancy yet.

At one point Dwalin overheard Thorin and Balin talking about them, talking about whether to leave Nori in Laketown, with one of the company watching over him, or whether it wasn’t safer to send him to the Iron Hills, or whether he should travel back to Beorn the long way, whether he should just make for Ered Luin and arrive there with the child.

The trip to the Iron Hills wasn’t too long, when one was marching hard, but it wasn’t good for a bearing Dwarf to be alone in the wild, and what if the child was born on the way? They couldn’t really spare Óin, perhaps, and they did not want too many Men to be around with the child, the many strangers might be too stressful.

From what little Dwalin heard he got the nagging feeling that Thorin didn’t even consider sparing _him_ , that not taking Nori to Erebor would mean that he would be separated from Dwalin as well. They already were so few, even leaving Nori didn’t suit Thorin. He didn’t speak to anyone but his closest kin about this, excluding Dwalin.

“I can’t take this easy,” Thorin said when he noticed Dwalin watching him with accusation in his eyes. “I am responsible for the entire company, and no matter what Nori is afraid of, it’s best if he and the child are at least _alive_.”

Dori did not speak to either of them, and Dwalin only saw him in the kitchen when he went to fetch Nori some tea. The pretty Dwarf was sitting with Bofur and Bifur, looking upset and not even glancing at Dwalin. 

Ori stuck to the princesses, and as Nori didn’t react to anyone talking to him, they looked upset and lost. They weren’t used to not being able to reach their brothers it seemed, and the situation was new as well. At least they had Fíli and Kíli to distract them.

Knowing that he was mostly responsible for the grief of the little family made guilt gnaw at Dwalin’s mind. He barely could look either of Nori’s siblings in the eye, and as Nori didn’t react to his presence as well he grew frustrated and apart from sparing there was no way to let off some steam. 

Balin was there to comfort him, not saying a word about the topic of being an uncle soon, just sitting down next to Dwalin and patting his shoulder briefly. It was nice, but didn’t do that much for Dwalin’s mood.

“What I don’t understand,” Thorin said, after Óin reminded him that Nori was mainly afraid of his child being taken away for the umpteenth time, “is why you didn’t ask for help. You and Dwalin could have come to me and asked for me to solve the problem. Dwalin and the child are my kin after all.”

Everyone grew silent and looked at Nori.

Nori had worked on decorating the blanket, stitching patterns into the edges. His hands stilled and he looked up at Thorin, weary and smiling bitterly.

“Would you?”

“Of course. You are an honest Dwarf, apart from this one thing, I would have.”

“Really? Think back to when we met? Who was I? A thief from a good family but doing nothing but thinking lower and being dishonourable. Did you _really_ trust me before knowing me on this journey?”

No answer came, and that was answer enough really.

“You would have thought this was a trick, that I am using Dwalin, and using his connection to you to have my bastard child grow up as nobility, to get a free pass into the line of Durin just like that. You might have let me go without calling the guard, but that’s it, you wouldn’t have believed me.”

Thorin wanted to reply something to that, but then he just bowed his head and went on with whispering to Balin and Óin. 

It was true, he hadn’t trusted Nori at first, had only slowly started to accept Nori for being as good as Dwalin knew he was. He had said as much so many months ago.

Bofur eventually stopped trying to tell Nori stories to cheer him up, only frowned at him and bowing his head in defeat, and Bombur stopped giving food to Nori, just quietly said that there was some there if he wanted to eat.

Kíli, who had been interested and excited and happy for Nori at first, stopped asking him things like whether he had choses a name already. She just stayed away and looked upset, and Dwalin knew that she’d be wondering whether she had done something wrong.

And Dwalin knew that there also were those who did not approve at all. Glóin made no secret of the fact that he disapproved of Nori’s actions. Bilbo had been a little confused, when everything was explained to him cautiously. But while he said that he was sorry for Nori and Dwalin, he also didn’t hide his disapproval of Nori running into danger in his state.

“Hobbits don’t do these things,” he said, “Hobbits don’t do anything potentially dangerous for the last few months of pregnancy at all. Not that there is much danger in the Shire, but Hobbits still take care.”

When it was time to go and sleep, Dwalin gently led Nori into the corridor leading towards their room.

“Is being around everyone upsetting you? We can stay in our room and not deal with anyone for now, if that would make you feel better.”

Nori shook his head, clutching his blanket and leaning into Dwalin’s touch.

“You would be bored out of your mind there, and you’d never leave me alone all day.”

Dwalin frowned, upset about how it was him who was responsible for Nori’s misery, again. But it was true, he wouldn’t want to leave Nori on his own, and Nori wanted to be near him after all, even if he didn’t want to restrain him like that.

There were voices close to where they walked, and Dwalin recognized his brother speaking, while Nori tensed a little. Neither of them moved as they listened.

“The Iron Hills are the safest place of course, assuming that going this last bit to Erebor is too uncertain.”

“I think he should be treated like any… civilian,” that was Glóin’s voice. “Let him come to Erebor next spring, with the caravans, whether he’ll go to Ered Luin or to the Iron Hills. Or later, if the baby can’t travel. And really, let him be judged by courts like he would have if he hadn’t gone anywhere.”

Nori smiled as he heard that, a sad little twitch of his lips.

“Let us go and sleep,” he whispered, and Dwalin followed him, even if he felt like going back and yelling at his cousin. 

He couldn’t and he shouldn’t let out any of his frustrations, shouldn’t be too loud or angry about any of this, about them not even talking to Nori about their decisions and at Glóin for being harsh just because he felt Nori endangered his child.

Doing any of that might not look good though, and Dwalin didn’t want loosing his temper to have any effect on what was decided about him and Nori.

When they lay down in bed Nori curled against Dwalin, clutching Dwalin’s shirt and not moving at all. 

“I promise you, everything will be fine, in the end. We’ll be together,” Dwalin told him and kissed his forehead. Nori just hid his face against Dwalin’s neck and nodded.

Dwalin woke up twice, that night.

The first time he couldn’t have slept for more than an hour, maybe even less, and Nori was leaning against the headboard, curled up and humming a song.

“What are you doing?” Dwalin asked sluggishly, and Nori just stroked his beard lightly.

“Lullabies. Go back to sleep.”

“You sing lullabies? Do you do that often?”

Nori shrugged.

“Sometimes, when I’m not comfortable enough to sleep I pretend that I have our child in my arms and that I need to sing it to sleep. Started in the dungeons, when I was sure that no Elves were near.”

Dwalin propped his chin on his hand, and watched Nori hum the familiar melody. He had heard the song before; it was a fairly common nursery rhyme, if he recognized the melody right.

He found himself humming along, one hand on Nori’s belly, and when Nori paused Dwalin slipped into another tune easily. He never had liked singing too much, always preferring his viol, but he let out the tune wordlessly.

Nori glanced down at him when it was done.

“Never heard that one before.”

“A Stiffbeard lullaby,” Dwalin explained. “My mother used to sing it to me, but I barely remember the words.”

“Ask her about it the next time you see her,” Nori smiled and slid down to curl into the blankets again. 

“I think I can sleep now. Thank you…”

He fell asleep nearly immediately, and Dwalin did the same, reassured about everything being fine.

The second time Dwalin was woken out of his deep sleep by something hitting against his chest. There was something clawing at his shirt, and there was a loud ragged breathing near his ear, and it took Dwalin a few moments to make himself remain calm against his instinct to fight and see what was going on in the dark.

Nori was trembling in his sleep, his hands reaching for something and hitting against blankets and Dwalin, and his breath came out laboured. He was having a nightmare it seemed, and the way he was trashing around first made Dwalin want to get of reach before waking him, and then made him fear that Nori might injure himself.

He took Nori by the shoulders holding him as tight as he could without hurting him, trying to hold him still.

“Nori!” Dwalin called, urgently, hoping that Nori could hear him through whatever he was seeing in his dreams.

For a few seconds Nori trashed against him, then his eyes widened and he woke with a scream.

Dwalin didn’t let go, even if he wanted to give Nori some space to regain his senses and calm down, but he didn’t want to risk him getting hurt in his shock.

At first Nori just heaved and coughed, trembling and his eyes too wide, then he started clawing at the blankets again, crying in fear and trying to understand where he was. Dwalin was helpless with this, though he tried to soothe Nori and told him that he was there and that they were safe talking like to a hurt comrade.

Finally Nori stilled, his arms curling around his stomach and he focused on Dwalin’s face. He started sobbing then and it shook him until Dwalin picked him up and held him in his lap, stroking his back and holding him and hoping that he was all right after all.

Nori cried and shook and whispered his name endlessly, his voice hoarse and weak.

“I’m here Nori, I’m here,” Dwalin promised and cradled him in his arms. “Whatever it was, it’s over now, everything is fine.”

Eventually Nori leaned away, taking a deep breath and then wiping his hands over his cheeks. He glanced down at the tears wetting his fingers, then sneered and sobbed again.

“It’s nothing,” he whispered “and I’m too pathetic to deal with everything calmly.”

“You aren’t pathetic. You can’t help nightmares after all and everyone would be a little emotional in your place.”

Nori rested his forehead against Dwalin’s chin and curled his arms around his neck.

“I dreamt you were in Erebor,” he started, talking slowly as if he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to talk about it at all.

“I was alone, I think, and I was holding our child but I couldn’t see its face. And then everything was gone and everyone was saying that it’s for the best and they wouldn’t let me see its face and they wouldn’t let me talk to Dori or you and I was just… It felt so real.”

Dwalin tightened his hold, pressed Nori closer to his body and shook his head.

“It isn’t real. It _won’t_ be real. I don’t care what anyone decides, you and the child will be with me, and you won’t be on your own. Dori wouldn’t turn away from you either, you know that.”

“Dori is just upset that he didn’t know,” Nori muttered, “he doesn’t know what to do and he’s upset that I didn’t let him help me.”

He didn’t say anything more about that. Dwalin cradled Nori in his arms and listened to their calming breathing. Nori had stopped crying but Dwalin’s shirt still felt a little wet where Nori had pressed against it.

“I’m tired,” Nori said eventually, “I don’t want to sleep and have more nightmares.”

Dwalin nodded and listened to the sounds around them, to the creaking of window-frames and floorboards and the sounds of a sleeping household. Outside the town was calm, with only the faint wind and soft noise of waves sloshing against boats outside.

“Can you sing for me?” 

Nori’s voice sounded so small, like a child’s and Dwalin barely ever sang anything apart from tavern songs, he didn’t think it’d do much good. He wouldn’t have denied Nori anything in this moment.

Dwalin nodded, and started to hum his mother’s favourite lullaby, struggling to remember the words. It had been a simple song, and it was surprisingly easy to remember what exactly she had sang on those nights when Dwalin had been afraid or sick or tired or had just wanted comfort.

So he held on to Nori and sang the children’s melody, all wrong in his rough and deep voice, compared to his mother’s melodious one. Not really suitable for a lullaby or an upset lover. But Nori seemed calmed as he did it anyway, so Dwalin sang all he could remember, quietly, just loud enough for Nori to hear.

Outside the sky seemed to get lighter, or maybe it was just lamps being lit or Dwalin getting used to the darkness, and Nori held on to him and neither of them moved away from where they were curled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write one chapter for Laketown then this got too long and I decided to divide it into two. Sorry if it's a little long and slow.   
> Do tell me if I'm doing something wrong or if I need to put more warnings and tags?


	16. Chapter 16

It was early when Dwalin and Nori found themselves down in the kitchen, early enough for the sky to already brighten and make the entire lake and town look grey, but also too early for the autumn sun to still be hidden behind the horizon.

Nori didn’t want to sleep, and Dwalin could really fall asleep with him still so worried either. There was no use in staying in bed, and Dwalin figured that being downstairs would be better, at least for as long as none of the others were getting too close. 

Outside the Men were slowly getting up as well, and once in a while Dwalin heard faint voices pass by as some fishermen set out through the town’s smaller gates to do their daily work out in the lake. Inside the house it wasn’t completely quiet, and at least Bombur and Bifur would get up soon enough. Those two had never bothered Nori in anything though, so Dwalin didn’t mind that.

Neither of them felt too hungry, so Dwalin just tried to make tea in the unfamiliar kitchen. He didn’t know any of the contents in the tins he found, but with the ones he recognized as tea leaves he did manage to make a decent drink. Or at least decent after they added warm milk into it, as Nori suggested.

Nori had brought the blanket again, and this time Dwalin really took the time to examine the work Nori had done with it. It didn’t look ragged anymore, with the edges evened out and knots and embroidery everywhere. It was a soft thing, pretty by now, and it calmed Nori as he worked.

“Is this for the child?”

“Of course. We will need a blanket if nothing else. And I don’t have to think when I work.”

It was nearly done, and Dwalin recognized patterns of both Nori and his family lines, and traditional symbols of protection. It was a nice thing, and Dwalin held Nori close as he watched his fingers work on the threads.

When they first heard the soft shuffling of Bombur’s steps, Dwalin gently helped Nori get up, despite the protests of not needing that, and both of them retreated from the kitchen. Nori muttered something about not wanting to face anyone directly and so they hid in the corner of the common room, at the bay looking over the lake. There was a couch and large windows and curtains nearly hiding them from view, so Dwalin arranged some pillows for Nori in the corner.

Nori didn’t protest when Dwalin sat down next to him, pulling him close and nearly ending up with holding him in his lap. It was warm and comfortable and maybe they could have stayed in bed if cuddling was all Dwalin was going to do that day, but it didn’t matter. He wanted Nori to know that he wasn’t alone and that no nightmares would be ever come true.

They saw Bombur pass into the kitchen but he didn’t notice them, and Óin who walked out of the house nearly immediately, his medical kit in his hands. Dwalin thought he heard Thorin and Balin at one point, but if they were up, they didn’t enter the common room.

The first to see and actually approach them was Dori. He was dressed in the same clothes everyone else was, but somehow he had managed to pick them so that even the too large old things looked beautiful and noble on him. 

He was holding on of the new swords in his hand, a large thing, larger than the one he had used on the journey and Dwalin wouldn’t have picked such a weapon himself. 

Despite Dori’s calm face, and the fact that attacking would be absolutely ridiculous in the space around them and with Nori in the way, Dwalin felt uneasy about the naked steel. He had _seen_ what Dori could do with a sword and enough rage, and Dwalin had done enough to deserve his anger after all.

He tightened his hold on Nori, watching Dori approach, but did not flinch away.

“Mind if I sit there?” Dori asked, pointing the tip of his sword on the stool in front of where the two were sitting.

Nori shrugged and leaned his head against Dwalin’s shoulder, not stopping the work on the blanket, and Dwalin just watched cautiously as Dori sat down and pulled out cloth and a whetstone.

He didn’t say anything to them, seemingly content with just sharpening the already impressive sword.

Nori didn’t raise his head, just bent over his work and let Dwalin comfort him, and Dwalin tried his best not to grow uneasy with Dori sitting there, a threat in just his presence. 

It took Dwalin a while to understand what Dori was doing there in the first place. Nori didn’t seem to be bothered by his brother being there, just strangely upset, and then Dwalin saw how Dori was frowning and sneering slightly when Thorin and Balin’s voices grew louder and they entered the room, or how he glared when Glóin showed himself on the way towards the kitchen.

And Dori was sitting with his back to Nori and Dwalin, half shielding them from view, and his swords sat on his lap in such a way that it’d be easy to grab it and attack towards the front.

Dori was _guarding them_ , and Dwalin hadn’t noticed in his suspicion. 

Just knowing that there was at least one other who would defy the King if it was needed, however subtly, was incredibly reassuring. Dwalin pressed his face to Nori’s hair, glad that they weren’t alone in this. Nori and his siblings had always seemed close to one another, and family was important to them. Which would include the child, and perhaps even Dwalin now.

After a while Balin stopped talking to Thorin and joined Óin instead, and Dwalin realized that his King wasn’t occupied with anything for a moment.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Nori with a kiss to his forehead, and Nori nodded and shifted to the side to let Dwalin disentangle from Nori and get up. Dori glanced up briefly, but only seemed to nod slightly and watch what Dwalin was doing with a keen gaze.

Dwalin tried not to have anyone pay him too much attention, which of course was more or less impossible, with his statue and the current situation. At least they had the decency to try and not stare too openly.

When he reached Thorin, he walked in front of him, puffing up his chest slightly and crossing his arms so that his forearms and fists would be shown off. Not exactly a threating position as such, but Dwalin knew that most at least grew cautious of what he could do to them.

“Cousin,” he said quietly, waiting for Thorin to look up and pay him his full attention.

“What is it?” Thorin glanced at him, raising his eyebrows at how Dwalin was glaring.

“I want you to stop doing what you do to Nori. I want you to stop speaking of him as if only you have the right to decide over his fate, as if he has no say at all. I want you to stop drawing this out and to stop torturing him like this.”

If Thorin was surprised at he words, Dwalin didn’t pay attention to it. Instead he turned his head to glare at Glóin, who choose just this moment to reappear from the kitchen.

“And you,” he growled, startling his cousin, who wasn’t used to Dwalin anger being directed at him at all, “you will shut your gob about Nori altogether! I don’t want another word about any of this from you!”

“What do you mean? Just me saying how it is bothers you? I am right in saying that he is completely unsuitable and irresponsible-“ Glóin started to protest, but Dwalin did not let him.

“You know nothing of him! Nori wanted to risk his life rather than to give up all that is his by rights without a fight. If you can’t respect that… You are my kin so I’d let you off easy, but if I hear one more word your Nirma and your brother will have to craft you a whole new set of teeth.”

He said it louder that he intended in his anger, and he knew that _now_ they would watch, if they hadn’t before. The only one Dwalin glanced to was Nori, whose face had fallen and who now was holding on to his blanket miserably. Dwalin hated that, hated how he only ever meant to protect Nori, and how he kept making everything worse.

But Glóin glanced towards Nori as well; looking upset and sorry for hurting the Dwarf he had been so fond of during the journey. His shoulders sagged a little and he still looked angry, but that was the case most of the time. Glóin did not forgive easily if something angered him.

Thorin raised his hand towards Dwalin, not touching yet, in case Dwalin didn’t want to have any contact to those he was angry with.

“Forgive me, I never meant to cause him pain,” he said, and he really did sound sorry. “I hadn’t realized how much that behaviour upset Nori, and I didn’t anticipate that Nori fears our judgement enough for it to have _this_ effect on him.”

Dwalin wasn’t entirely sure what Thorin meant, but the way he said it sounded as if he was talking about more than just how tired Nori looked.

All three turned towards Nori, who looked as if he was trying to make himself seem as small as possible. Dwalin wanted to return to him and comfort him, even if he wasn’t really done with his cousins, but in that moment Bifur got up and walked towards the window.

He didn’t give any mind to a slightly surprised Dori, just sat down right in front of Nori. Bifur took Nori’s hands, firmly pulling them away from where they were clenched around the blanket, and then putting them on top of it, forcing them to remain relaxed by pressing his palms on them.

Nori looked startled at first, but then he seemed to keep his hands still as Bifur gently pulled his own away. Then Nori just watched the older Dwarf, waiting. 

Bifur put his hand on Nori’s shoulder, raising his other and moving it slightly, as if he was looking for words. Then he said something, too quiet for Dwalin to hear from across the room, but Dori looked surprised and Nori’s eyes widened and then Bifur made the hand gesture that meant ‘respect’, and pointed at Nori.

“ _Any help you need, I will answer you. I went through this, I can offer you assistance_ ” Bifur said, and he spoke slower than usual, as if he was trying to make sure that he didn’t forget any of the words and that Nori would understand what he wanted to tell him, as Nori sometimes had trouble understanding it when Bifur spoke with his voice and not his hands. 

Then he angled his head awkwardly, and gently tapped his forehead against Nori’s, making sure that the broken axe handle in his head didn’t come anywhere near the younger Dwarf’s face.

He leaned back and made the gesture for ‘ _I will help_ ’ again, before standing up and walking back to do whatever it was he had done in the kitchen before. Nori watched Bifur go, and he looked much more calm than he had in the last few days.

It took Dwalin a few moments before he remembered that Bifur used to have a family as well. Unlike Glóin, who always spoke of his little son, and Bombur, who liked to speak of his wife and children, Bifur never indicated that he had a family of his own, and next to that it was easy to forget.

Understandable though, if the memory was painful to him, and connected to the day he had gotten an axe buried in his skull. But he _knew_ things.

Nori had always listened to Glóin talk of his family, had quietly and subtly tried to get a feeling for what was in store for him. Without being able to actually ask for help, just hanging on to every word of someone who had already borne a child must have been the only way Nori could ease any doubts or fears.

Now that Glóin was angry with him that wasn’t really possible anymore, and Nori wouldn’t have been comfortable to go and ask for any advice. Bifur offering that possibility though… That was as things should be. 

Glancing at where the toymaker had disappeared to, Dwalin walked back towards Nori and gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“All right?” 

Nori managed a smile, and though it was weak, it also looked genuine. 

“Yes, I’m fine.”

He tilted his head up to kiss Dwalin softly, then leaned back and glanced over Dwalin’s shoulder, tensing again.

Dwalin looked back and saw that Thorin had followed him, stopping a few steps away from where Dori was sitting and glaring at him. Glóin had stayed behind, looking abashed, and both Balin and Óin were watching.

“I am sorry that I haven’t spoken to you about this before,” Thorin started, leaning his head to the side. “We should not have excluded you so completely when deciding what to do, even if you did act foolishly and lied to everyone.”

Nori’s hand found Dwalin’s and he squeezed it while watching the King.

“You acted wrongly, and you lied to get your name on the contract, but nevertheless the contract still stands unchanged. Your actions won’t have any impact on being part of the company or the reward, and you will come with us all the way. It’ll either be safe and you’ll have no more to fear than from a trip to the Iron Hills, or we all die and in that case nothing will matter anymore.”

Nori stilled, and Dwalin held him closer, looking up at Thorin and waiting for a confirmation of what he just heard, or for Thorin to say that Nori would be sent away after all. Thorin glanced at him, lips twitching slightly.

“I do not think it would have been possible to make you go away or stay here with Dwalin guarding you anyway.”

He turned as if to go away, then paused for a moment.

“But you will do as you are told, and not refuse anything Óin wants you to do. You won’t be doing _anything_ recklessly either, is that clear?”

Thorin waited until Nori nodded, then he turned his back to them and walked away.

The relief on Nori’s face was obvious, and he more or less sagged against Dwalin. 

Dwalin held him as close as he could, feeling the worry slowly drain out of his mind. He’d have kissed Nori then, but Dori was standing up behind them and Dwalin didn’t want to push his luck for the day.

“Everything will be well,” Nori whispered, looking up at Dwalin wide-eyed. “They won’t send me away.”

“I promised you, I wouldn’t let them either way.”

Nori laughed, a nervous little sound, but it was a laugh that actually sounded happy for once. He wrapped up the blanket and leaned to the side to look past Dwalin at Dori, who had sheathed his sword and now stood close by.

Dori was smiling as well, looking relieved and pleased about his brother getting off the hook easily. He still glanced at Dwalin as if he didn’t know what to do with him, now that he knew that he and his little brother were together, and that Dwalin had sired Nori’s child. He didn’t look angry though, so Dwalin was hopeful.

“Have you eaten today?” Dori asked, and he must know that Nori sometimes didn’t want to when he was too stressed out. 

Even before Nori could shake his head, Dori reached out with a sigh.

“Then let us go and get you something.”

Nori stood up carefully, and with one questioning glance at Dwalin he followed Dori towards the kitchen. Dwalin didn’t feel like eating anything, and as Nori hadn’t asked him to come along he decided to give the brothers at least some privacy.

The mood in the house seemed to ease, and Dwalin hadn’t even noticed how tense everyone had looked. 

He looked around, wondering what to do now that he didn’t need to make sure Nori was all right for the moment. Perhaps he could spar with somebody. Just when he started to think about who to go against, Óin approached him, looking serious.

“Nori will do as I say, yes? And if he’s the difficult kind of patient you will help me.”

Dwalin nodded at his cousin’s blunt demands, and Óin have him a look.

“And if he needs to talk, or any sort of thing to help him calm and ease his mind, talk to me first,” he whispered, and it was so quiet that Dwalin knew Óin would be having trouble hearing his own words. “Some get more unstable when bearing, and with what stress he must have been in… Is Nori prone to reacting badly to these things, or to nightmares?”

For a few seconds Dwalin wondered what that was supposed to mean, then he realized that Óin must have heard Nori scream in the night. And if Óin had, then maybe everybody else knew how scared Nori was as well. 

Dwalin didn’t answer, but the look on his face must have told Óin enough. 

“Speak to me if you need any help, cousin,” Óin said, and briefly squeezed his elbow. Then he returned to Balin and the talk they had been having.

Dwalin watched him helplessly, wondering who else knew, whether Dori was so worried because he had heard his brother, or whether Thorin had realized how wrong he had acted because of this. In the end it didn’t matter perhaps.

Dori and Nori returned from the kitchen, carrying a plate of pastries and laughing, Nori telling some joke that had his brother groaning about his behaviour again. When he caught Dwalin’s eye, Nori smiled and despite himself Dwalin felt at ease again.

Thorin’s decision seemed to be known to anyone in the house within minutes, and through the day Dwalin found himself in the corner, watching at how Ori and Kíli kept chatting away at Nori, and how Nori yelled at Bofur for increasingly stupid name suggestions for the baby, and how Dori and Balin sat together and seemed to be talking about practical things and the who’s family line the child would belong to. The ones who remembered described what it was like in Erebor, and everyone kept insisting that the child would be lucky to always know it as a home. 

It was chaotic, and everyone wanted to talk to Nori just when someone else had set out to ask something as well, and Nori was laughing at them, and showing off parts of the blanket, and everything looked so comfortable.

For a moment Dwalin could forget Erebor and what they’d have to deal with eventually, and just feel as if they were a company or a small caravan, just like any other with a bearing Dwarf in their midst. For a moment Dwalin could pretend that everything was normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nirma is the name of Glóin's wife (borrowed from Thorinsmut). 
> 
> Nori sometimes has trouble understanding Bifur's khuzdul, especially since he wasn't around Dwarves enough to really be completely fluent. Both of them can talk through sign langue, but in this case Bifur wanted to actually speak to Nori while reassuring him
> 
> Whether Bifur lost his family (as William Kircher seems to be fond of, for his tragic backstories), or whether they are in Ered Luin and he simply doesn't talk about them is up to you,;;
> 
> next chapter will definitely be outside of Laketown!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erebor in this one, which means a lot of Dwalin being afraid and hopeless

The last few days spent in Laketown were busy and a little chaotic in the company’s preparations to leave for Erebor, and nevertheless relaxing. 

For the first time since their journey started Dwalin did not have to worry for Nori in secret, and he no longer had to wonder what would happen if they were found out. Instead the entire company was always there around Nori, watching curiously, asking him things or just trying to make sure that he was fine.

Even now, when everyone was either going through their packs one last time or going to sleep and have a good rest before an early departure, everyone kept returning to Nori.

“You should be naming your child after me for all the things I do for you,” Bofur announced as he sauntered into the room returning from a little trip, coat damp from the mist outside. He had a satchel in his hand, and carefully got out some pastries out of it, presented them by holding them high up in the air and then put them back where they came from.

Nori sneered at him.

“If I were to name my child after a cake provider it’d be that one Hobbit lass I bought some off years ago.”

Bofur touched his chest, looking heartbroken.

“After all the trouble I’ve been through to get you something that does not contain a single fish? I am wounded. Truly, how can you be so cruel, I thought being a parent was supposed to soften people!”

Nori shook his head but Dwalin did notice the eager gleam in his eyes. Of them all Ori and Nori had been the most sick of eating as much fish as they had these past few days. 

“I’ll think about granting you child-holding privileges,” Nori drawled then and waved Bofur closer. “On spot 20, if the pies are good.”

“There’s enough for everyone and we’ll have some for breakfast, too!” Bofur announced as he got the pies out again and started putting them down on the couch beside where Nori was sitting. 

While Nori started to pick apart one of the pies, Bofur reached into his coat and started to search for something in the folds and pockets.

He pulled out an old doll, making everyone turn to look at it in interest. 

“Little Tilda gave me this old thing of hers, she repaired it so that it’ll suit you.”

It obviously was a young child’s toy, old but patched up with great care on several spots. It had light brown wool serving as hair, and newer grey wool stitched to the doll’s chin to make it look like a beard.

“She said the baby should have a Dwarfish doll,” Bofur said fondly, and Nori carefully took it from him.

“It is sweet,” he said, slowly, frowning.

“We will thank her when we see her the next time,” Dwalin promised.

Nori managed a weak smile, though he looked a little uneasy as he handed the doll back to Bofur, who tucked it back into his coat.

“For safekeeping,” he promised, and Dwalin thanked him again. Nori never did know how to act when strangers showed him more kindness than they needed to and he still watched where Bofur had put away the doll.

Soon enough the pies were eaten or packed away, and there wasn’t much more to do, except for double-checking all they had. Óin took Nori aside for one last look at whether he was in condition to travel, and Dwalin had nothing to do then. He knew that Óin didn’t like him hovering too much, and Nori wasn’t afraid and in need of him anymore.

Instead Dwalin took his pipe and sat down on the ledge outside the house, to look across the lake. One couldn’t see the Lonely Mountain very well from that side, but it didn’t matter. Tomorrow it would be all Dwalin would be able to see when looking ahead. 

Dwalin spent a few minutes in solitude, blowing puffs of smoke into the cold air and looking over the water, trying to think of nothing. Eventually he heard the floorboards creak and his brother’s familiar soft steps approaching him.

Balin sat down next to Dwalin, making himself comfortable. He didn’t bring his own, so Dwalin offered him his pipe for a few drags, which Balin accepted with a smile. They didn’t talk and it was fine by Dwalin, there was no need to fill the silence.

They passed the pipe back and forth between them, smoking and not turning towards where the mountain was. When there was nothing left of of the tobacco, Balin made a satisfied little sigh and shifted to get up again. Dwalin expected him to leave and not say anything more than a ‘good night’ but then his brother lingered.

“Who would have thought that this day would come?” he said, turning to the north, to where their home had been, and would be once more. Balin’s voice was soft, and he looked towards Erebor with a longing Dwalin hadn’t seen in years. Everyone was so good at not showing it, at making the best of what they had and just hope quietly. 

“Only a few more days,” Dwalin promised, “then we’ll have Erebor at the start of a new year.”

_Or we all die_ , Dwalin didn’t say. Because they wouldn’t.

“Yes,” Balin agreed, “tomorrow we’ll take the first few steps towards Erebor. And then you’ll have a child as well.”

He glanced down at Dwalin, who couldn’t quite supress the smile this thought gave him.

Balin chuckled and shook his head, then patted Dwalin’s shoulder lightly.

“To think that you managed to keep your relationship with Nori a secret for years. And the child… I do hope there won’t be any more secrets of that magnitude?”

Dwalin laughed and shook his head.

“I doubt I’d manage that.”

Balin raised his eyebrows, lips twitching.

“It is still possible to reveal more surprises for us, and Nori seems to be good at keeping secrets.”

He patted Dwalin’s shoulder once more, and turned towards the house. Dwalin turned his head to watch him, and noticed how Balin was looking towards where Óin was talking to Fíli about something, already done with his check on Nori.

Balin glanced from their cousin to Dwalin, then nodded.

“Try to get enough sleep today, it could be that there won’t be much opportunity to have a restful night for the next few days.”

He walked inside and then towards his room, and Dwalin carefully tucked the pipe into his pocket and got up to find Nori. He’d be in their room, perhaps already sleeping. He’d want to use the bed as much as possible, with how he complained about the lack of soft blankets being the one thing he did not want to deal with at all.

It was quiet around the house and as Dwalin edged towards the door no sound came from inside their room. He knocked gently, then pushed the door open when Nori answered with a ‘come in’.

Nori wasn’t sitting in bed, as Dwalin had expected, but on a tall chair by the wall, legs dangling above the floor. There was a dull mirror in front of him, and Nori’s hair was falling over his shoulders, partially done up in braids.

Dwalin stood still in his surprise for a while, then he noticed that Nori had ribbons in his hair, and that he hadn’t seen it all done up in pretty braids and coils in far too long. 

The way it was now, it was nearly identical to what Nori had worn when Dwalin first met him. The ribbons had been a soft beige then, to match the patterns on Nori’s pretty plum-coloured dress.

“What are you doing?” Dwalin asked, and Nori glanced at him in the mirror, but turned back to holding ribbons up in front of his hair.

“Trying out these pretty things,” he drawled, and twisted a blue one into a strand of his hair, before braiding it with another. 

Dwalin stepped closer, taking in the pretty hairstyles Nori hadn’t worn in too long. They were delicate and elaborate, too much so for Nori most of the time. And ribbons were decorations Nori only rarely wore, too dainty and easily torn for how he lived.

The ones he had now were nice ones, with beautiful lacework and vibrant blues and purples and greys.

“That they are,” Dwalin agreed and put his hands on Nori’s shoulders, watching their reflections in the mirror. 

“Mhmm,” Nori drawled, tying the ends of his braid into a knot.

The braids on his beard were neat as well; falling over his chest and freshly brushed from how they looked. Nori’s moustache was different, too, as Dwalin noticed to his surprise. Instead of the meaningless and simple three-strand-braids, these were seven-stranded.

“A new mother’s braids?” Dwalin asked, leaning closer over Nori’s shoulder. The ribbons brushed his cheeks, soft against skin and catching against his beard. He hadn’t thought Nori would ever wear these braids in their situation, that Dwalin would never look at his lover and see them, knowing that it was a sign of the new family he would have.

“A new bearer’s braids,” Nori corrected and leaned his head up, making his hair brush against Dwalin’s face. 

Dwalin nuzzled against the side of his head, smiling and letting his hands stroke down over Nori’s shoulders to his collarbones. 

“And where did you find such ribbons?”

“In one of the locked chests round the house. I’ll take them along, they’d just rot here and who knows when I’ll find something as pretty in Erebor.”

Dwalin didn’t ask why Nori had looked around the house and found them, or why Nori had taken something out of a chest that had been secured away. 

“So you’ll just steal from our hosts?”

“I need something to preen with, Dwalin, the Men don’t need these as much as I, and they’re generous.”

Dwalin fingers fumbled with the collar of Nori’s robe.

“So preening is this important to you now?”

Nori twisted on his chair, so that he was facing Dwalin more or less, and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Of course, you like me all pretty, no? And _I_ like myself pretty, too.”

He tugged at Dwalin until he finally leaned down for a kiss.

It was soft at first, Nori content to be held and the gentle brush of lips against each other’s, and Dwalin buried his hand in Nori’s hair, stroking it along the braids and down across Nori’s cheek and over his beard.

As so often it was Nori who eventually grew impatient and pushed for more. He deepened the kiss, tilting his head up for a better angle and bit at Dwalin’s lips while thrusting his hips up to rub against Dwalin’s crotch.

Dwalin’s breath hitched and he heard Nori’s soft moans as he tried to move faster, and his soft whine as Dwalin’s hands wrapped around his hips firmly, to prevent him from doing that more.

“Please!” Nori demanded, trying to move enough for some friction.

“No,” Dwalin said and tried to remain unmoved. Never easy with Nori behaving like that. “We shouldn’t… Not before the birth.”

“Oh come on? Do you want me to go get Óin and ask him if I’m still allowed to have a fuck? Because I _will_ do that!”

Dwalin snorted and shook his head, but at least Nori let go of him with a grin and turned back to the mirror to remove all of the ribbons again.

“Tonight is the last we’ll have privacy for ages, so you’ll got to make up for the fun we might have had one day,” he said, tucking away the ribbons in his pockets and making a simple braid for the night.

“Of course.”

Dwalin was quicker in taking off all layers of clothes safe for the one he’d sleep in, and he was already comfortable in bed by the time Nori was done braiding his hair and beard and joined him.

He grumbled a little as he tried to make himself comfortable, shifting back and forth until he found a way that had him both snuggled up in the blankets and leaning against Dwalin without having his stomach get in the way.

“I can’t wait to get this over with,” Nori sighed when he finally was satisfied, and Dwalin nodded. He didn’t have to deal with any of the really annoying things in a pregnancy, but the constant worry had had its effect even on him as well. 

Tomorrow they would be just one step closer to Erebor, and soon enough they’d have a home, they’d have safety and soon after the company of Iron Hill Dwarves to help Erebor through the winter. And their child would grow up in safety as well. It was only a little bit left, and then everything would be right.

*

Never before had everything felt so utterly _wrong_ as the first few steps inside the mountain. On the few days it had taken them to get up from Laketown to the hidden door Dwalin hadn’t really imagined what he’d do if they’d end up fighting Smaug, and he hadn’t expected any of this.

Dwalin remembered dragonfire, and he remembered Erebor and its grand halls. But he had never expected just how much he’d be afraid of the dragon, and how much he wanted to run and never return to these halls.

They had all been paralyzed in fear after following Thorin and seeing Smaug that close for the first time, his golden eyes fixed on them and fire and smoke rising from his mouth.

Dwalin wasn’t sure how they were supposed to fight him, or even just survive. Something about having to _sneak_ and not use his mace to fight was making it worse, and Dwalin had barely dared to _breathe_ when the company slowly walked underneath Smaug, with golden coins raining down on them and the sound of scales moving too close above them. They didn’t even have any armour to hope to survive should the fire get too close to them.

They were all together at least, and together they’d figure something out. Thorin always led them through the most hopeless of situations, and Balin always had a plan and Nori _always_ found a way out.

He was glad to have them there, and he’d like to have Nori by his side in a fight. Usually. Now all Dwalin could think about was that Nori wasn’t a warrior now. Instead all Dwalin could think was that their _child_ was in the line of fire. 

There was no easy way out of the mountain, none that didn’t take them past the mountains. The most obvious routes were blocked, and so many centuries past there was been others who had hoped and tried to run from the dragon.

They had all starved and chocked to death with nothing left of them but their bones and the beads hanging in their dried and wiry beards.

“That’s it then,” Dwalin heard himself say, staring at the dead and feeling the sickening feeling of having failed everyone sink into his bones. Erebor would never belong to their people; the last of their family would be Dís and little Gimli and nobody else would be left, he’d have failed Thorin, and most of all, in protecting the family he might have had before it even got the chance to exist.

Even Balin felt like there was nothing left for them to do but hide in the mines and hope that their death would not be a cruel one by fire. And if Balin thought there was nothing to do but wait for their death…

Just hide and die. They would be just like the Dwarves lying around in front of the broken and crumbled wall. A few days, maybe a week and then nothing. Perhaps they could stretch it, perhaps they _could_ find a way to get out, or at least some of them. If the princesses survived, the line of Thrór would not be broken, and Ori could mange to survive this. 

Perhaps even Nori and the child, _if_ there was a way out. How likely could that even be? 

Thorin refused at least, refused to die like those other Dwarves had and Dwalin could fight if his King demanded it. He could stop thinking about how the dragon would burn them to a crisp or eat them, depending on the mood, and _try_ to do what Thorin demanded, and get them all to the forges.

They split, and they’d lure the dragon in. A reckless plan, a _good_ plan, if he thought about it, a plan that would have them all with a chance to get to where they needed to; without all of them dying, at least. 

“’s worth a try,” Bofur laughed, and adjusted his hat before running and leading Fíli and Kíli into the tunnels. 

There was grim determination in everyone’s faces, and Dwalin might not have minded to lure Smaug towards himself just to save the others and give them time to run to safety and get to where he needed.

He did _not_ like to think about how he was also making Smaug turn and chase Nori and how he was endangering their child, and how Nori shouldn’t be running too much, and how he would be slower or less enduring. One just wasn’t supposed to lead a dragon straight to one who was bearing, especially not towards your own family.

Nori was so focused as they ran, breathing hard but evenly and running in front of Dwalin, still managing to be quicker even with his added weight and immobility. And Dwalin could do nothing but roar and scream at the great worm and hope that fire wouldn’t reach them.

It was the worst nightmare, the shouting and then Smaug’s hiss and the way the ground shook underneath their feet as they ran for cover, and then voices drawing Smaug’s attention and keeping him from trying to follow them into the tunnels.

And then the image of Thorin falling into a shaft and Dwalin unable to reach him, only seeing how his King fell towards where Smaug raged among the mining-lifts. It took Nori screaming his name to turn away from the sight and the urge to do something stupid, and Nori’s idea to sabotage the breaks and reverse the cranes was _something_ he could do.

Even if it did end with Dwalin staying helpless again, as Nori threw himself towards a ledge to pull Thorin into safety, and as he could do nothing but watch how fire surrounded them seconds after Thorin managed to grab Nori’s hand and be pulled out of the way.

And then fire so close to them that Dwalin could not breathe, and the great forges lighting up from where they had been cold for too long, and flashes of light as Balin thought of ways to distract Smaug, and fire everywhere, too close and no shelter and Smaug seeing them.

Dwalin could feel how the memories already twisted in his mind, and how he’d dream of this, if he lived. 

Thorin laughed Smaug in the face and beside Dwalin Nori was laughing and cheering quietly with each minor blow they could deliver to the dragon. 

Neither fire nor explosions or the water Bilbo released over Smaug could do anything to keep him for long, and Smaug wouldn’t stop trying to kill them all, and most of all Thorin.

Drowning Smaug in gold was a risky plan, one that might not work at all, if Smaug flew where he wanted to, but Dwalin went along with it, in lack of any other suggestion. He wished Nori would stay behind, just for this, or seize the moment and hide between the debris or even find a way outside. He wished Nori would stop with all of the running and that he wouldn’t stand behind the mould of Thrór’s statue, and that he would not put all his effort into pulling out the chains that held the construction in place. Perhaps Dwalin might have done it alone, but Nori never once showed signs of giving up, and Dwalin had no breath left to beg him to flee.

It worked though, even if just for a few speechless moments of staring at the pool of gold that had filled the room and buried Smaug. It didn’t last and Smaug emerged with a screech, cursing them and flying off towards the outside and into the sky.

The Dwarves stared, unsure about what to do, some still holding the chains in their hands, watching where Smaug had crawled out of the gold and where he had taken off.

Nori trembled and sagged against Dwalin, and for a brief moment Dwalin feared for the worst. But there was no pain on Nori’s face, only exhaustion and disappointment. 

“There goes or golden plan,” he muttered, and somewhere Bofur laughed. 

Slowly everyone started to climb down from the scaffold finally able to catch their breath and muttering amongst themselves. Dwalin willed his hands not to tremble and held on to Nori, expecting him to fall any minute.

Nori just leaned against him to catch his breath, not saying a word, but once they reached the ground he carefully sat down and leaned against the wall. Dwalin sank to his knees, hovering and barely daring to touch Nori, but not willing to leave him. Nori’s hands spread over his stomach and he winced, closing his eyes with a pained expression. 

“Óin!” Dwalin called, voice hoarse and too quiet. Óin did hear him at the first time, and looked over from where he tried to check on a few scratches Glóin had on his face. 

“I’m alright!” Nori promised as the healer walked over, not quick enough for Dwalin’s opinion. “All the excitement and the noise just made the little one want to take part in the action as well.”

He leaned his head against the wall, biting his lip slightly. Óin glanced at Dwalin, waiting for a few moments for him to move away, but then he just rolled his eyes and leaned over Nori’s stomach as Dwalin refused to move.

Dwalin waited anxiously as Nori helped Óin push open his coat and jacket, to let him feel for himself, but in the end Óin shook his head.

“Just the exertion, you could have done worse and still be on the safe side. But you _need_ to rest now! Wait and don’t move at all, if possible, and you should be fine.”

Dwalin clenched his fists as Óin stood up and left them. Again something he could not do anything against, apart from waiting and not doing anything. The company looked relieved though, and everyone proceeded to check each other for damage.

Nori watched him for a few moments, raising his eyebrows, and finally Dwalin let out the breath he’d been holding and wrapped Nori into his arms. It felt a little as if Nori was holding him instead, but Dwalin just cradled him and tried not to think about what would happen if Smaug decided to return.

“We’re safe,” he heard Kíli say, and then the agreements. Nobody could quite believe it. They were in Erebor, and at the moment Erebor held only Dwarves, like it was supposed to be. And a Hobbit, but he was their friend and guest.

They really were, they were _home_ and they’d see Smaug return.

On the far side of the hall Bilbo hurried towards them, pale and wide-eyed.

“He flew towards Laketown!” he breathed, staring at all of them in desperation. 

The Dwarves looked at each other, horrified expressions on their faces. There was no way to warn the Men, and none to come to their aid, not at that distance and not against a dragon.

Thorin closed his eyes for a moment, then he turned towards the rest. 

“We make for the old guardhouses, there will be provisions and weapons and a protected place to sleep. We’ll be able to watch the sky for the worm’s return.”

Everyone nodded, getting up from where they had allowed themselves a moment of rest. This was for the best, any other place deeper in the mountain might be nicer, but the guardhouse closest to the balustrades was the safest. 

Bilbo stared at Thorin with a disbelieving expression. For a moment Dwalin thought that he would protest, but then his shoulder slumped and he followed the Dwarves.

“We have Erebor,” someone said, and the whisper was taken up.

Nori walked slowly, not letting Dwalin half carry him anywhere. But his hand clenched around Dwalin’s sleeves and he looked up at him with wonder on his face.

“We’re in Erebor,” he whispered, only loud enough for Dwalin to hear. “We made it.”

Dwalin’s hand curled around Nori’s.

“Yes,” he said, slowly realizing what they had managed, “we’re home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went closer with the movie canon here, Óin joined Bifur and Glóin when they separated, and Bofur, Fíli and Kíli were another group


	18. Chapter 18

The wind blew over the mountainside, harsher than it used to be in Dwalin’s childhood, faintly smelling of ash and the biting cold. Above them the sky was grey and overcast, too bright in the way that made one’s eyes ache when looking up at it. 

Even in his coat Dwalin shivered slightly, and by his side Nori was wrapped in furs, hopefully not freezing as much as the others did. After two days of hiding outside the shelter of the mountain, in a crumbling outpost, the cold was starting to grate at everybody’s nerves.

Now they barely felt it, gathered around Thorin and the Raven, the company standing in a circle and even more of the great birds perching all around them. All were listening to what the two Kings had to say to one another, how they reaffirmed the old friendship between their races.

Dwalin’s eyes were fixed on Thorin, who looked as if the Maker himself had come to bless him. They had made it. The mountain as theirs. The mountain was _safe_. All of the people who had once fled from it now would return, would see their old kingdom, their homes and all of their possessions. The gold in the treasury was enough to give every Dwarf who wished to an opportunity to start anew, to fix Erebor and make it prosper. And it would not even make a dent in the treasure.

It was more than they had dared hope for.

As Thorin and Balin spoke to the Ravens Dwalin slowly turned his head, barely able to tear his eyes away from his King. 

Nori was still staring, watching the Raven King and his heiress speak, eyes occasionally moving over the other birds. He was nearly completely hidden by his clothes, the fur wrapped around his upper body brushing against his cheeks. He was hugging himself underneath them, from what little Dwalin could tell.

“That’s it...?” Nori whispered, looking as disbelieving as Dwalin felt. “Smaug is gone?”

Finally he turned from the Ravens to look up at Dwalin, with wonder in his eyes.

“We made it,” Dwalin said, a smile tugging at his lips. He wrapped an arm around Nori, pulling him in and reaching under the furs to really feel him against his side.

“We are safe.”

*

The way back to the inside of the Lonely Mountain was different than the first time. Now the mountain was theirs, now they carried their weapons knowing that there was no dragon, who’d be unimpressed with what little they had to offer. Now they walked with their backs straight and their heads held high in the halls of their youth.

Now they could look at the city they had lost and not be afraid, could look at the tunnels and bridges and the old caverns without knowing that Smaug might be hiding in any of those.

They made their way back to the treasury, where they had picked up weapons right after Smaug had flown out for the last time. Now the gold was really theirs, was in the hands of Dwarves, of its previous and true owners. True, it smelled of dragon and no Dwarf would ever dump their treasures into such messy piles, but it was theirs. 

The first thing they did was to just drop down into the gold, sitting in it and relaxing. It made a ridiculous picture, but there was nothing but gold to sit on here.

Glóin fetched a brazier, and waved for Ori and Nori to come closer to the fire to get warm again. Fíli and Kíli disappeared between the hoards of gold and returned with harps, pleased to find that the instruments weren’t damaged and could be used to play a cheerful tune. Dwalin would have loved to join them, but he doubted that there was any fiddle among the treasures, and only Bofur and Bombur joined into the music, singing or beating tact with their hands and silver pots they tugged from the piles.

Thorin smiled at the company’s merriment, though he still looked a little tense and tired. There was another harp standing in the area they were, and he plugged at a few strings, creating a simple tune, before smoothing over them with his hand.

“Take one hour to rest and warm up,” he told the company. “The threat might not be over yet, if anyone turns to the mountain before the Ravens reach Dáin in the Iron Hills so we need to seal the main gates.”

It took a little while, and first everyone was nearly too in awe to really touch the treasure that was theirs, but soon the company started to look around. Last time they hadn’t been able to fully appreciate it, with the fear of Smaug returning spoiling their moods, but now they were safe.

Bofur and Glóin went to admire the beautiful craftsmanship of gems and jewellery they found, and sat in near silence as they dug through the piles of more marvels, finding increasingly beautiful things. The Dwarves ran their hands over the treasure, admiring what they saw.

Dwalin picked out gems and diamonds and plates of gold, turning them in his hands. He had _never_ had such a choice of precious materials, but he knew he’d be able to create his best works yet with what he managed to gather up and slip into his pockets just from kneeling on one spot. 

Bifur managed to find a music box somewhere, that only played part of the melody and skipped notes, but Kíli noticed and started filling the gaps with her harp.

Bilbo sat near Bombur, watching everyone with a sour expression, but as Bombur was just preparing something to eat nobody paid him much mind. They all were tired and hungry and wanted something warm to eat, before they had been afraid to light fires.

Dwalin picked out a few emeralds that were nearly uncut and could still be worked into whatever he wished and went to join Nori near the brazier. 

Nori had found some hairpieces and was working through the mechanisms that let one reassemble them into new shapes, but he put it into his lap when he saw Dwalin, and smiled.

“Look at these,” Dwalin said and gently placed the emeralds into Nori’s hands. “I’d make you a circlet with them, or bracelets and rings for every finger. Just perfect for one who’ll be a Lord.”

Nori laughed at him but his fingers curled around the stones.

“And a locket for our child, I’ll make one with patterns and our sigils, so that everyone will know our family lines running together even without opening it,” he promised, and Nori’s laugh stopped and he looked at Dwalin fondly.

“It’d be perfect,” he said after a while, rubbing the stones gently. 

Dwalin cupped Nori’s cheek with his hand, and Nori leaned into the touch, smiling. He looked so happy, so relaxed and content talking about this. They truly had made it now, they were inside a mountain, surrounded by stone and gold and the elements the Maker had created them for, Nori had fulfilled the contract and even if Thorin decided that he had acted too foolish after all, he’d not change the reward anymore. 

Nori was officially free of any charge and free to be Dwalin’s. His reputation didn’t matter anymore, and as the heroes of Erebor they wouldn’t care even if it did. They could be a family now.

Dwalin leaned up, for a kiss or just to be close to Nori, but Nori pulled away just as a small avalanche of coins and cups slid down next to him and Dori approached. 

“Look at what I found,” the mithril haired Dwarf said, holding out a belt. It was made out of light and smooth golden disks, too short to wrap around one’s waist, but rather used to fasten around a new-born’s blanket bundle. It worked better than clasps or brooches and was meant to show that a child was cherished and protected, along with it’s practical use.

Dwalin couldn’t remember when he had last seen a chain this pretty, if at all. Babies hadn’t seemed interesting when he had still been in Erebor. The gold plates were all smooth and with no sharp edges or anything that might hurt a child should it be able to reach it, and there were different shades of the gold, as well as traditional runes of luck, love and gifts worked into patterns made of copper.

“I might try to find the old one our mother inherited from her grandfather. But I don’t know whether it’s even still in one of the places we used to live, or where else it might be.”

Dori looked near mournful as he gently placed the chain onto Nori’s lap, and then he glanced at Dwalin with a smirk.

“Though I suppose, if Dwalin finds enough white gold and brown diamonds he might make you a new one based on what I remember of the old.”

He then left to look for more hidden treasures among the piles, and after a few seconds of the company just silently staring, they got busy as well.

Fíli was the first to approach, with beads in her hands.

“There are suitable for toddlers! Look, they are a little damaged and there used to be gems in these dents here, but you can repair them however you see fit.”

Next came Glóin, gathering out all the jewels and diamonds he had already stuffed into his pockets. He motioned for Dwalin to cup his hands and handed them all over, puffing out his chest in the process.

“You will need a cradle. One of solid stone, I suppose, but now that we are here I wouldn’t cut back on the gold and the gems. Your child with only have to stretch out its little fists and touch emeralds and rubies and any shade of quartz we might find. We didn’t have much, but my Gimli used to be particularly fond of lapis. I’d recommend blue ones for the early years anyway.”

“True,” Bofur called from somewhere behind a broken pillar, though Dwalin could only see a tip of his hat. “Most of Bombur’s kids preferred the play with blue things when they were just wee things, but once I brought home an opal and his daughter wouldn’t let it go.”

“I liked anything that caught the light and shone,” Nori said, trying to remember his years as a toddler. “But I think most of it was glass.”

There was a murmur of agreement going through the company, and everyone nodded as they thought of pleasant memories of gems they used to love as children.

All families tried to give their Dwarflings as many different materials to play with, or to just look at, as possible. It entertained them, was pretty and often calmed children with just shining nicely, even if it was just a wet pebble. It also let them see and feel the different creations of Mahal before they were old enough to learn the basic knowledge of them that each Dwarf possessed and was proud of.

Of course it didn’t end in peace, and soon everyone started to try and find pretty and shiny things for Nori’s child, which just led to loud discussions about which gems were better suited to entertain a baby and which could be cut to reflect light the best. Dwalin kept snapping at them when suggestions about cradle decorations started to get ridiculous (mostly Kíli and Ori’s) and Nori laughed at all of them. Even Thorin chuckled at their shouting.

The only ones who didn’t join in were Bifur, who was watching everyone intently and nodded along to some of what was said, and Bilbo, who sat huddled by the fire and glared at everyone with a scrunched up nose.

“You really are planning how to burry a baby with gems before it is even born?” he asked Dwalin, but he just shrugged him off.

“They’ll grow used to what they can work with that way.”

Dwalin had seen Men and sometimes Hobbits do similar things with their unborn, farmers he had passed on travels who made beds out of hay and grass to let their youngest rest while they worked on getting in the harvest, so he wasn’t sure why Bilbo was looking at him as he did.

The arguing did not escalate beyond an increase in volume that made their voices echo in the treasury chamber. Eventually Thorin stepped in and waved them all off.

“Enough of this! There is an open gate we need to block and a battlement to check. And food to prepare, or have the complaints from earlier been for nothing?”

There was some grumbling but most did stand up to follow Thorin to the gates. Dwalin only reluctantly moved away from Nori, but before he managed to get up Nori grabbed his beard and tugged him closer, leaning their foreheads together briefly.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his breath a warm puff of air against Dwalin’s lips. 

Then he let go and carefully got up as well, assisted by Dwalin’s hands before he could even start loosing his balance on the shifting ground. This time Nori smiled at the automatic support.

They squeezed each other’s hands briefly, then Nori went to help Bombur with the dried food they had, and Dwalin followed the rest to the gates, feeling the warm satisfaction of success spreading through his core.

 

*

The bitterness of having their happiness and security threatened was especially harsh when it was their supposed allies and friends who did it.

Dwalin had never been one to trust anyone but Dwarves, and even then preferably just those who had truly earned it. It still stung to see the Men gathering further down between the mountain slopes, to see their fires and know that they were thieves, or would have gladly become thieves, if they could.

One did not come to the mountain with such a force when the dragon was fallen, one did not watch silently and then leave when finding the actual owners of Erebor alive and well. Dwalin had seen the Men remaining a decent distance away from the gates, looking up and watching, but not replying when one called to them. 

It was clear what they had intended to do, and even Balin had sighed and said it with a grave tone.

“They hoped to plunder the dragon’s hoard.”

The Dwarves weren’t sure what to do at first. Perhaps, if the Men had wanted to take what was owed to them, and the gold that once had belonged to Dale… But one did not move forwards with an entire army to do so. One did not take an Elvish host for support to take what was _rightfully_ theirs.

Now, standing alone with Thorin on the battlement and looking for a change, Dwalin was afraid again.

If the Elves and Men decided to attack they’d break against the gates. But if they got inside there would be just a handful of Dwarves able to fight them. People could destroy a city worse than a Dragon, as they’d not care about it being intact. A Dragon just wanted gold and a hoard and maybe a nice place to sleep in. 

Just the mere presence of the armies made Dwalin feel helpless again. He’d not be able to protect anything, not his King, not his long lost home, not his love or their child. He was helpless.

He resented the Men for doing that to him.

Thorin was still as a statue standing at the balustrade, hands clenching at its edge so that his knuckles stood out white. Only his hair moving in the breeze made him look like a living Dwarf and not one cut from stone. Dwalin felt sorry for him, and it hurt to see Thorin’s near emotionless face. Dwalin knew him well enough to recognize the heartbreak and desperation and the flicker of hope in him though.

So close to their goal and again there were unforeseen difficulties thrown at them.

“What will we do now?” Dwalin asked, watching the campfires in the distance. 

“We can’t do anything,” Thorin said. “We must wait for Dáin. At least the Elven host should be chased away like that. They have no business being here, and if they want to support the Men, they can do so without their soldiers around, and out of sight of the mountain.”

He didn’t say what to do about the Men, and like Balin he wanted to first speak to them, hear what they had to say. Dwalin didn’t really trust in them being completely peaceful though. One never knew when the tall folk would decide to stick together completely, or take an imagined slight to one as an attack on the other. 

“Should we try and repair Erebor’s defences?”

Thorin glanced to where the trebuchets once used to stand.

“Smaug left more than we can crew. No, there is little we can do to make things safer for us.”

The King sighed, nearly slumping and his eyelids fluttering. He was tired, tired of all of this.

“The Arkenstone… We’ll have to look for it.”

“Do you think we’d be able to find it in the mess that word made of the treasury? It’s a wonder we found anything of the sort of things we were looking for so far. It could be buried anywhere.”

“Do we have anything better to do right now and under the threat of a siege?”

Dwalin shrugged and Thorin’s hands curled to fists, more slack than they had been when clenching around stone.

“We have to find it… Take back Erebor from the big old worm and see the Arkenstone shine above the throne.”

He said the last bit softly, voice full of grief. Dwalin had heard these words before, so many times. It was what Thrór had said to all of them at least once. He had spoken about how the Dwarves would regain their homeland, of how they’d have what was theirs and how the Arkenstone returning to its proper place would be a symbol of that.

He had told it Dwalin’s father, and Fundin had repeated it once in a while, he had told it to his son and his grandchildren, and most of all to his young heir. Thorin had repeated these words so many times now, saw making them come true as his duty. 

Dwalin gently squeezed his shoulder, hoping to give him what little comfort he could.

“The mountain is yours, Thorin. The Arkenstone is inside of your mountain and all of us will do all we can to see this through to the end. You’ll see everything will be good in the end.”

He had to make himself believe it as well, but the slight smile tugging at Thorin’s lips was worth facing his doubts.

“Thank you old friend.”

Thorin’s hand was on Dwalin’s, touching it for a moment, and then both of them turned to watch the camp of Men again.

“I have to apologize,” Thorin said after another few minutes, slowly. 

“For what?”

“I doubted you. You lied to me, you betrayed me. But you are the most loyal friend anyone could wish for. You did lie, but I could not ask you to do differently, when it’s about protecting your child.”

Dwalin watched his king and didn’t reply, and after a while Thorin smiled at him, even though it was a sad smile.

“You remain the most loyal Dwarf I know. I will not doubt you again; I won’t expect you to do anything that’d harm your child. You three will be safe and your child will be the first born in Erebor since over a century. It’s a good omen, isn’t it?”

Dwalin hadn’t seen it like that before, but the thought distracted him from his worries and he smiled.

“Aye, a good omen.”

“I wish you all the joy for yourself and your child, Dwalin.”

In the light coming from inside the mountain someone moved, and when they turned it was Óin, wrapped up in a fine fur-cloak stepping into the night, lamp in hand.

“You should both stand here till morning, go back and enjoy safe company,” he told his cousins, but Thorin only glanced at him briefly before turning back to looking over the valley. 

“You should go, at least,” he told Dwalin, and Dwalin didn’t protest. It _was_ cold, both outside and inside the mountain, and Óin was giving him a meaningful glance.

“Everything will be as it should be,” he told Thorin before taking the lamp from Óin and returning into the mountain.

The way to the treasury wasn’t the longest, but walking alone through the empty halls made it seem so anyway.

They company had rolled out their blankets everywhere around the gold, some on the piles, others between the stacks of gold or things that could slide down in avalanches at every little disturbance. Nori had made a little best out of their bedrolls out of sight of the others, curled up on his side.

His hands were moving, and he was playing with the little doll he had gotten from Bard’s daughter, turning it and examining it, and simply holding the toy like a child would.

“How did you get your hands on it?” Dwalin asked as he quietly approached and stretched out so that he was lying with his chest to Nori. “I did not see Bofur give it to you.”

“What do you think?” Nori answered, and ran a finger over the doll’s stitches.   
Dwalin chuckled and wrapped his arms around Nori, sliding one hand under the layers of his clothes and resting against the swell of his belly. Very soon now, and his thieving love would bear their child, who’d hopefully wouldn’t follow its bearer in doing what he did on instinct. 

“How bad is it out there?” Nori asked, and Dwalin’s smiled dropped. 

“The Elves are out of sight right now, but the Men are just camping. They haven’t sent a message yet. I promise it will be fine.”

He _had_ to believe it.

Nori was silent for a while.

“If it gets bad our only chance will be to hide in the mines, or flee the mountain. Maybe try and reach Dáin’s troops, but that’s too much. I don’t know if I could make it that far anymore.”

Dwalin’s breath hitched and he pressed a kiss to Nori’s neck.

“It won’t come to that. We will stay in the mountain, we will be safe.”

Nori held the doll closer, rolled back a little so that he was pressed against Dwalin as much as possible.

“Yes,” he said, sounding too tired and defeated to really convince anyone “we will…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then...


	19. Chapter 19

The waiting was the worst. Nobody was sure what to do or how to act; there was nothing the Dwarves could really do against the Men before their gates and nowhere to go either. Nearly a week had passed, and it was just more of the same.

The Elves hadn’t left and the Men refused to even _consider_ putting down their weapons before coming to demand anything. They blocked the way to the mountain, making it impossible for the company to leave through the main gates and for Dáin’s army to set up camp there. Or bring them supplies for that matter.

“These Men haven’t had a war time negotiation in as long as any of those down there have been alive,” Balin told them on the third day, after Thorin had stormed off seething. Not having anyone listen to him was already irritating for the King, but Dwalin had heard the insults and the Men implying that Thorin had no right to be in the mountain as well. 

“They’ll not get a single coin for as long as they stand there with an _army_!” Glóin had snapped.

“We can’t just stay in a stalemate through the entire winter. Soon enough they’ll send someone who can negotiate without threatening us. The Men of Dale had always been allies after all; we can’t attack them either. We wouldn’t be able to, with Dáin cut off and the Elves on their sides.”

The Dwarves didn’t have much opportunity to do anything. They found a large hall that was sheltered from the outside and easy to keep warm, so they had a place to sleep. They had found new tunics and clothes that actually had been tailored for Dwarves, and they had their armour already picked out, polished and set out near their bedrolls, so it wouldn’t take too long to get ready should everything turn bad suddenly.

Apart from waiting and sitting near the battlements to watch the camp of Men, there was little to do. Even that grew tedious; the Men didn’t do anything apart from occasionally sending someone to shout up to the Dwarves.

So they went to the treasury and searched through the piles of gold, worked with their hands buried between coins and searching for treasure that had more worth than the material it had been created from.

Like the Arkenstone. There was no trace of that King’s Jewel, and Thorin grew increasingly agitated in his attempts to find it. 

There was nothing to do, really, so Thorin ordered anyone who wasn’t busy doing something else to join him and search for the Arkenstone in the treasure. It was a nearly impossible feat, Dwalin supposed, not something they could realistically accomplish until they had an opportunity to put actual order into the piles of gold. Even such a remarkable stone might not be found by a handful of Dwarves, not if it was buried deep inside the piles of coins.

It was boring work, so barely anyone truly had their mind on the task. Bilbo didn’t join in whenever he could, choosing to stay with Bombur and Óin in the hall they camped in, and Kíli and Ori were too mesmerized by all they found to be of use. Fíli had never seen so many marvels in one place, but she was a little better in hiding her awe. 

The few times Nori joined in he would just sit on the top of one of the piles, picking out trinkets on his right side and then throwing them down to his left. When he did stand up to explore, Dori would be by his side sooner than Dwalin could even turn towards him, and push Nori back down to sit. 

“You’ll loose your balance and fall,” he said, much to Nori’s indignation.

“I never loose my balance! Leave me be, bearers climb steep mountainsides and all is fine!”

“Not with less than a month to go, and not on moving unstable piles of coins. Now sit or I’ll make sure you’ll not leave your bedroll for a week!”

By the end of the week it was only Thorin who still went to look for his grandfather’s greatest treasure. When the rest of the company did leave the hall they all occupied, it was to search the city. Nobody went far, of course, in case they needed to return quickly or in case they encountered bad rock or accidentally broke some unstable structure. 

Nori was barely ever on his own, with everyone agreeing that he needed all the attention he could get. Usually Nori would have loved that, but he grew skittish when he got too much of it because of the child. He still managed to slip away from them all and explore Erebor a little, and he’d whisper about what he had discovered to Dwalin, when nobody else was listening.

“Most of it is a wreck since people left in a hurry and Smaug collected what he could for his horde,” Nori told Dwalin as he leaned against his chest.

It was the most comfortable they could get, with Nori sitting between Dwalin’s legs, back pressed against his chest and Dwalin’s arms curled around him and his belly. It was comfortable and cosy and Dwalin never wanted to get up when he was sitting like that and somebody else was calling him.

“But you know what I found? Pretty and highly useful things. I thought I wouldn’t get to have one till at least a year after reclaiming the mountain. But you’re lucky after all.”

“What did you find?”

“Well,” Nori grinned and nuzzled against Dwalin’s cheek. “How would you like being fucked by a pretty gold and glass cock instead of one of wood?”

Dwalin felt his cheeks heat up and at least a dozen replies about how this was a bad idea, and how Nori shouldn’t be thinking about that now and also yes _please_ fighting to be spoken first, but then Dori was there to ruin the moment or safe him from an embarrassing reply.

“Look!” he said in a sweet voice as he approached the pair, the same happy tone he’d been developing since Laketown. “I have found a rattle!”

He showed it to them, a pretty golden thing that made a chiming sound when moved, and semiprecious stones on the edges to lay out a pattern Dwalin couldn’t quite figure out. 

Nori reached for it and gave it an experimental shake, laughing at the sound.

“Can’t say I’ve seen one with that melody before.”

“It’s the materials. My little nibling will have the nicest toys, just the best of Erebor and Dale’s old creations.”

The noise brought everyone else to the group, and now the older Dwarves felt the need to describe all the toys they used to posesss. 

“I remember I had a kite,” Dwalin said and rubbed at Nori’s stomach absently. “I broke it just the first time I tried to make it fly.”

“I remember it, you stepped on it, and the wood broke and then you threw a fit!” Glóin laughed at him.

Bifur muttered something under his breath, then signed along, though the meaning didn’t seem to match the few words Dwalin heard.

“ _The child will be too little for most of this. But I know how to make a crib mobile, which will have animals that actually move. Give me a workshop and you’ll get one._ ”

“You should make a music box just for them!” Bofur suggested, “With a lullaby for when the baby just needs to hear something to fall asleep and _stay_ asleep for longer than one would want to sleep.”

Bifur made a noncommittal shrug, proceeding to move his hands like he was already carving out the toys he could make.

The company chatted and talked and Dwalin felt the warmth of Nori’s body against his chest and the softness of his hair brush against him each time he moved, and he listened to what the others had to say. He didn’t notice that he didn’t know where Thorin were Balin were until both of them walked by, heading from the direction to the battlements.

The corners of Balin’s mouth were turned down as he walked towards were there was a hot brew warming near the fire, but Thorin stopped, looking over to where the company was huddled around Nori, chatting excitedly. He watched them, the creases around his mouth growing harder.

“What are you all doing here?” he asked, shoulders drawn back stiffly.

“There’s nothing else we could be doing now,” Dori informed him. This was the first time none of them was in the treasury or exploring the city, and there really wasn’t anything of use for them.

Thorin’s eyes moved over each of the Dwarves and Bilbo, then he clenched his jaw and nodded slightly, before turning away to leave the hall. Fíli and Kíli both made a move to get up and follow him, with guilt on their faces, but Balin waved them off.

“Your uncle is very upset about the situation, don’t take his mood to heart.”

The company grew silent. The Men had not changed their mind about anything then.

“They are still blocking Dáin’s troops and they won’t even respond to Thorin’s demand for them to parley without weapons. They want gold and they won’t say anything else.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just give them what they need?” Bilbo asked from where he was curled into his coat. “They do need it to rebuild their home and if Smaug took some of theirs as well…”

“How do you expect this to work?” Glóin snapped, though he was still glaring at Balin, angry about the Men and not at the Burglar.

“We can’t just… _throw_ the gold at them, we’re too few to assemble what they demand, and if we let even a dozen of them in here with their weapons the others will storm after. And they’d take all that glitters too. They won’t care about whether it’s coins or whether it belongs to someone.”

“The Men will have to actually _negotiate_ before Thorin even hints at giving them anything,” Balin said with a sigh. “This is all a mess but I can’t say I disagree.”

There was some murmuring in agreement, but Dwalin ignored them and stared at where Thorin had left to. He couldn’t just leave his friend like that. As gently as he could Dwalin pushed Nori away, and stood up as Nori shifted and made way for him.

There were only two places Thorin went to when he wanted to be alone, and Dwalin tried the one most of the company had barely even seen. He was proven right in his first guess, when he entered the throne room and found Thorin on his own, standing in front of his grandfather’s old seat.

He didn’t move until Dwalin was standing right by his side, eyes fixed on the seat and the empty socket that used to hold the Arkenstone. Without the gem and the many lamps usually lit everywhere the throne room looked cold and grim, barely shining in its old glory.

“We will find it,” Dwalin promised, unsure about what else to say. “And the Men will leave us be.”

“We?” Thorin looked away then, eyes meeting Dwalin’s. He was pale and looked too tired for his own good, thinner too. The past few months had done nothing for his peace of mind, and Dwalin only remembered him being like that sometimes, when they had first needed to survive outside of Erebor and after he had become King.

“We,” Dwalin confirmed.

“Thorin, we can’t find the Arkenstone alone by just digging. You know that,” he added, when Thorin stared with raised eyebrows. “I would kneel by your side working through the mess if there wasn’t an enemy at our doors, and if I didn’t have Nori and our child right now.”

Thorin’s face twitched a little, and he closed his eyes.

“The child… We’ll have Dáin here by then, with help. I already don’t know how to hold the mountain with my company, and for them, but how am I supposed to hold a mountain and protect a Dwarfling?”

It would have been easier if it was just a group of warriors, but Dwalin was confident in the situation not being changed much through it.

“I will protect my child, you will protect the mountain,” Dwalin shrugged. “Just like a King should.”

“You’ll all protect the child,” Thorin said with a tired smile. 

He clasped Dwalin’s arm briefly, then he walked away towards the one other place he went to alone these days. Dwalin wondered whether he should join him, but he knew that Bombur would be serving food soon, and he wanted to hold Nori in his arms more than digging through gold, even if that might please Thorin a little.

It was darker than when Dwalin had followed Thorin, with the sun already set and barely any lamps lighting the way. 

When he entered the hall it was emptier than before. Balin was already dozing in a corner, since he’d have the early morning watch, and the princesses and Ori had disappeared. Bombur was grumbling near his pot, already wearing the heavy fur coat he’d need against the cold of the battlements. 

And Nori was sitting with his blanket clutched against his chest, sickly pale and staring at Óin who was busy telling him stories. Or advice, as Dwalin head when he came closer. 

“Dwalin!” Óin called out, “Come here and listen, you’ll have to know this as well and now I’ll have to retell everything.”

Nori faintly shook his head and somewhere Bofur snickered. 

“The sire suffers damage as well, like you wouldn’t believe it. Might be better to let some of them have a calming dose of booze and not involve them too much. Some worry more than the bearers, you should have seem Bom when his first child was born.”

“I’ll not let Dwalin get away with copping out,” Óin said sternly. “He’ll be there and he’ll help. And he will also hold Nori upright, since that seems like the most sensible method to me. Under these circumstances at least. Might even be the least stressful one, it includes a… soothing presence after all.”

Óin gave Dwalin a sharp look, as if he was slightly doubting Dwalin truly being soothing to anyone.

Dwalin glanced at his cousin and then at Nori, who mouthed a _don’t leave me alone with them again_ at him.

“Are you sure you’ll want Dwalin and his fists anywhere near you during the birth?” Glóin teased his brother. “When you dropped my wee Gimli on the floor I would have throttled you, if I hadn’t been so exhausted myself!”

Nori’s eyes widened more, and he shrank back from the two of them. Dwalin tried not to groan. Óin had been very new to delivering children back then, and nervous, especially since it was his own nephew. Dwalin had always found it amusing before, now though…

“Don’t worry lad,” Glóin added quickly as he noticed Nori’s expression. “I’ll be right there with my axe to make sure he won’t do that to your babe.”

Bifur growled at him, then signed ‘ _ignore them, I have been through it and it’s less bad than one’s led to believe. I will keep them in check._ ’

Dwalin glared at the lot and sat down to pull Nori into his arms again, feeling how he relaxed a little. 

“You should all just shut up for now. It’s still a few weeks to go.”

“We can’t be sure when exactly the child might decide to see the world, best to be prepared than to have to explain all in a rush. Everyone who’ll assist me will have to know what they’re doing as well.”

“Dáin might get through. He and his healers.”

Óin shrugged. 

“I did ask a raven to send messages. Dáin promised to do his best but he can’t really get in quicker just because Nori needs him. He also said that he congratulates you, Dwalin, and that you’re an idiot. Also said that he looks forward to meeting Nori and tell him he’s sorry for you and him having Durin’s offspring personally.”

Dwalin felt the embarrassment make his cheeks flush, and Nori chuckled. His cousin always liked to tease like that, but he didn’t know what to think about Dáin already doing that. Might be he’d never let him live it down.

The conversation didn’t return to the matter of birth at least, much to Nori’s delight, and instead Bifur, Bofur and Glóin started to tell tales about their children or niblings, and how they had been like at what age. It gave them the opportunity to take wild guesses at how Nori and Dwalin’s child would be like.

Time went on and nobody felt like sleeping. Dori returned after a while, grumbling about little siblings wandering around, then went to sleep. Bofur kept fetching more of the broth that was their dinner for the night, and soon Ori, Fíli and Kíli returned from their explorations and flopped down in a pile of blankets.

Dwalin felt himself become sleepy, and he was sure that Nori had dozed off once or twice. Each time someone suggested they all go to sleep he shook his head and had everyone go on with their tales. 

He barely saw Bilbo when he appeared from whatever nook he’d made his bed in, but Dwalin noticed the Hobbit as he moved soundlessly through the hall, giving all of them a tired look.

Bofur had too, since he raised his jug and waved at him.

“Where are you going?” he asked, cheerfully.

Bilbo stopped, hands curling in his warm coat.

“I can’t sleep,” he said quietly “so I thought I’ll go relieve Bombur of his watch duty.”

The nights outside the mountain were cold and dull; Dwalin knew Bilbo wouldn’t actually agree to take a watch shift if he knew how uncomfortable that could get. 

“Ah, leave him be, he won’t catch a cold unlike some of us!”

Bofur stood to fetch another jug and fill it with broth. 

“Come, sit with us and have a drink if you can’t sleep.”

Bilbo watched them all warily, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“All right,” he said finally and followed to sit down between Bofur and Bifur.

The conversation went back to childhood tales, and though Bilbo was silent at first, Bofur and Glóin got him to talk about Hobbit children and the sort of things they could get up to in the Shire. He smiled as he talked about it, though he also had a very wistful expression.

They stayed like that for may hours, talking and not doing much, until slowly most drifted off to sleep. 

*

The next day Bilbo was stiff and unhappy about having fallen asleep near the fire and not in his moderately comfortable bed, while Nori just complained about being bored.

Thorin only briefly appeared for breakfast, watching how the company once again gravitated towards an increasingly irritated Nori. After he disappeared again, whether it was to find a quiet corner to sleep or back to the treasury, Dwalin didn’t know. 

Since there wasn’t anything to do, and Nori loudly demanded to not be treated like a fragile little thing, Dwalin ended up taking a walk with him. They didn’t go far, aware Dori and Óin getting cross about that, and only to the edges of the caverns and shafts that once had been filled with life. 

Dwalin pointed out a few things he remembered, and that day the sun actually reflected into the mountain, making the abandoned city look gorgeous. Nori walked slowly, taking it all in, and when they reached the edge of a bridge leading from one cavern to another, he stopped.

“I never thought about how life will be like here,” he said, “or about ever getting to experience it. What do you think? How will it be?”

Dwalin pulled Nori closer, looking over the winding stairs and the tunnels, trying to recall how it had looked like filled with life.

“We’ll be married, lords, _proper_ lords and our child will grow up in the best Dwarvish halls we could have ever offered as a home.”

Nori purred happily at that, and wrapped his arms around Dwalin’s neck. Dwalin placed his hands on Nori’s hips, grounding him in place, and smiled as their noses brushed together.

“I can’t wait for this to be as it was before. It’ll be more than worth the journey.”

He tilted his head for a quick peck on Dwalin’s lips, then grinned.

“If I weren’t expecting a child already, I’d want one _now_.”

Then he pulled a little and kissed Dwalin soundly and sloppily, humming as Dwalin tightened his grip and opened his mouth slightly. He buried one hand in Nori’s hair, giving his head a little pull for a better angle to deepen the kiss. 

He felt Nori’s hands roam over his back and then tug at the edges of his coat, felt all of Nori pressed hard against his body and smiled at the soft moans he heard occasionally.

They were both breathless and Nori’s hands slid under Dwalin’s clothes, with only his tunic keeping them from skin contact. Dwalin moved his hand to Nori’s cheek, pulling him in closer with the other, and he could have stayed like that for hours, might have pushed for more if Nori’s belly wasn’t pushing into him as a slight reminder.

Dwalin didn’t get to test whether they actually cut go on for hours, as they were interrupted what felt like ages later and way too soon.

“Mahal, can’t you two be left alone _once_ without going back to canoodling and whatever else you might be up to?”

Dwalin nearly startled back, but Nori only sneered softly before glancing up to where Dori stood a little higher on the steps leading towards the battlements. 

“I don’t know what your problem is, ‘s not like we can actually end up in more trouble caused by sexual activity,” Nori informed him, and Dori just huffed. 

“Well, whatever it is you’re up to, you will have to limit it to what can be done while polishing armour and weapons. Glóin and Fíli found some more that might be of use, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Dwalin nearly bowed his head at the tone, feeling guilty for being caught, but Nori rolled his eyes and Dori already was gone to return to the others.

“Soon we’ll have privacy,” he muttered, “and no reason to _not_ do what we want to.”

Dwalin kissed his forehead, feeling slightly amused at Nori’s deep frown.

“As soon as it’s possible with a child on the way. I can imagine everyone will want to help for as long as we don’t have an actual place of our own.”

“Then go find one!”

Dwalin laughed and wrapped his arms around Nori’s shoulders, walking him back to the hall where the company was waiting.

“As soon as I can,” he promised, smiling softly at the image of their own house, their own space and their child between them. Soon they’d have that, and the Men would be gone to their own city and Erebor would be alive with Dwarves once more. Soon they’d have that. 

Nori’s hand wrapped around Dwalin’s, where it was resting on his shoulder, and he smiled, thinking of similar things judging by his look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more was supposed to happen but once again I wrote more than I counted on;;; I am sorry for boring chapters about bored Dwarves doing boring things;;


	20. Chapter 20

The wind on the battlements seemed to have stilled and the air was cold enough that Dwalin felt like he’d be covered by a layer of frost soon. Nobody spoke as they stared at the two closest to the balustrade, at Thorin, wide-eyed and his hands still shaking in rage. He was breathing hard, long deliberately even breaths, like he did when he was trying to calm himself in a difficult situation. Dwalin didn’t remember the last time Thorin had been like that.

He also didn’t remember anyone they had trusted this much betraying them in such a harsh way. 

Bilbo was sitting on the edge of the balustrade, hands tugging at his coat where Thorin’s hands had ruffled it, the mithril underneath glittering in the sunlight. He was frowning, half in anger and worry, with a defiant set to his expression. 

He had been part of the company; someone Dwalin might consider kin, and he never really felt that way about anyone who wasn’t a Dwarf. They had all trusted Bilbo with their lives, had respected him for all he had done. And here he was, sitting in front of their King, feeling righteous about having given over their greatest treasure to those who were slowly showing that they were more ready to act as thieves and enemies rather than friends and allies. 

Not only that, Bilbo had said that he found the Arkenstone on their very first day, even before the Men had arrived. Had kept it, had tried to sneak out to hand it over even one day sooner, had done so again when the company had made him join them.

He truly was a Burglar.

Now the Men stood below the gates, Bard with their gem and Gandalf acting as if that was right and good and that everyone was being just being silly. The Elvenking must have known as well, and Dwalin felt sick at the thought of Thranduil getting his hands on the King’s Jewel. 

Nobody in the company said a word, all watching Thorin in worry, and Bilbo with disbelieving and hurt looks. Thorin had lost his temper, had grabbed Bilbo and shaken him and shouted, and Gandalf had requested for his Burglar to be sent down to him.

As if he had meant for Bilbo to do something like that. As if he expected Thorin to actually toss Bilbo down to the army waiting below. Dwalin didn’t expect that Thorin would ever do that, but right now everyone was on edge. 

Nobody protested when Thorin gritted out an order to fetch ropes and let Bilbo down, and Bofur and Kíli did, giving Bilbo pleading and worried looks. They wanted to understand, to have Bilbo tell them that he hadn’t meant to take the Arkenstone; that he had truly not meant to harm the Dwarves.

“Be gone,” Thorin said, voice carrying clear through the cold air, when Bofur, Kíli and Glóin carefully started lowering Bilbo down to the ground. His voice was shaking subtly, and just by looking at his face Dwalin felt worried.

“No friendship of mine goes with you,” Thorin spat.

Down below they could still see Bilbo’s face, as he looked up, wistful and with a sad smile.

“I hope we may meet again as friends anyway!”, he called up, and none of the Dwarves knew what to respond, or whether they even should speak to him so soon after what he had done.

Dwalin didn’t know either. He was slow in giving out his loyalty, but once it was earned it was near impossible to loose it again. And Bilbo deserved it so much, while he also deserved to be considered a traitor as well.

Finally Bilbo was on the ground, and he ran over to Gandalf, and to where the Men stood. Bard greeted him like a good friend, as he should have done with the Dwarves, and the Men Dwalin couldn’t recognize looked pleased as well. 

He heard them saying something about the Arkenstone being returned once they had their gold, the treasure that was supposed to be Bilbo’s share even. He only saw Thorin, growing paler by the minute. 

“Dáin has to know, if he hasn’t heard yet,” he whispered. “These _thieves_ won’t get a single speck of dust from me with this blackmailing. We can get the stone back, we will.”

Dwalin glanced at him, then at the Men. He didn’t want to give them anything either, wanted to take bow and arrow himself and shoot at their feet. He’d fail, but he wanted to do _something_. Behind them the company was starting to whisper, Ori and Fíli gave each other a terrified look, Balin was speechless for once, and usually cheerful Bofur looked as if the world had broken apart.

Bard recited the demands of Men again, and Thorin shouted down, angry but still clinging to what little calm he had. Far off Dwalin saw the glimmer of Dwarfish armour, as Dáin’s army was forming its ranks, somewhere near the hills the Elvish archers positioned themselves and the Men were raising their shields. There was tension in the air, every single one of the soldiers and their leaders saw the reactions around them, everyone was waiting for who’d make the first move, if at all.

Above the Ravens rose into the air, screaming, just as the King under the Mountain curled his hand around his sword, simply to have something to hold on to. Dwalin wished for his axes then, and he looked up into the too bright sky where the shapes of the great birds were rising.

They were above the army Dáin had assembled, and those of Men and Elves, and many were flying down, to the people, most to the Dwarves and some to Erebor, cawing loudly and the common speech slurred.

It took longer than Dwalin would like to admit to understand that the birds were trying to speak, that there was an urgent message, and only after Gandalf’s shout did everyone understand what the Ravens were trying to say.

“Fools,” he cried, as he heard what the Ravens were screaming, “Halt this nonsense now! There are Orcs coming, Wargriders from the North in countless numbers! You can’t defeat them unless you join your forces!”

The company took a few seconds before make sense of the words, and then they looked up towards the direction he had indicated. Clouds were there, gathering for a winter storm, but closer the clouds weren’t what they seemed. Dwalin recognized bats, and an army in the distance.

A hiss went through their group, and down below the Men and Elves turned, facing towards the Orcs and not the mountain or Dáin’s army. Bilbo seemed to be frozen in fear, and somewhere far in the distance Dwalin could make out the echo of a familiar voice shouting orders.

Dáin wasted no time, but yelled for his troupes to reorganize so that they’d be able to fight with the mountain sheltering them from the sides. The Men made no move to attack them as they came closer, listening to Gandalf’s demand to fight together.

Up on the battlements Thorin was silent, pale and still as a stone. By his side Dwalin felt the anger and disbelief be drowned by dread and fear. The last time he had seen such an amount of Orcs was at the gates of Azanulbizar. He still dreamt of it sometimes, and now he saw it all be repeated before his inner eye.

His first instinct was to tell Thorin to hide and not be another lost King like Thrór had been, his second was to plead for the company to be safe and run and take to up arms to protect them.

Finally Thorin jerked up, braced his shoulders and fixed his eyes on the ground below.

“Put on your armour,” he said, voice soft and still shaking with his anger. “I will not stand by and watch how that filth takes over the Lonely Mountain.”

For a second none moved, but then Thorin turned his head sharply and it was as if everyone had woken out of a daze. Everyone moved quickly, glad to know where the armour was and how to put it on in a rush. Dwalin himself was already wearing most of it anyway, the padded tunic and a vest of boiled leather over which he’d only have to pull chainmail and the plate armour. 

As he passed into the mountain Nori was there, where he had leaned against the pillars, watching everything happen from the distance. He was wide-eyed and pale, looking up at Dwalin with worry. Dwalin took his hand briefly, then walked as quickly as he could to get to his armour, hearing Nori’s soft small steps behind him.

Back in the hall everyone went to their bedrolls or to the neat stacks of armour, swords, hammers and spears, to take what they needed and get ready as soon as possible. Dwalin retrieved his chainmail, getting dressed with precision, listening to any further orders with one ear. None came.

He saw Balin and Glóin exchange terrified looks, saw how Dori whispered something to his siblings, and how Nori’s hand was on the knife on his belt, and how he was staring down at the maces on the floor next to him.

“If they kill us all they’ll have the mountain,” Dwalin heard Glóin whisper, his voice unusually sombre.

Balin shook his head and tied his vambraces.

“They just have to get past us, if that’s their goal.”

Dwalin listened and fastened the plates of his armour, watching all around him. Who’d survive this? They’d all gladly give their lives to defend their home, had already proven that, but were they ready?

Dwalin’s gaze fell on Nori again, who hadn’t moved yet, just watching his siblings with a worried frown. He had no armour ready, of course not. 

The thought of needing to defend the mountain for Nori crossed Dwalin’s mind. He desperately wanted to protect Nori and their child, would fight as hard as he could to make sure he’d be safe and have a home for the future. But he also desperately wanted to survive and see their child, have Nori and be open about their relationship. He wanted to lead that life, peaceful and good in Erebor, wanted to finally have that again.

Thorin was the last to enter the hall, when everyone else was nearly finished preparing. He was seething, eyes moving quickly and not really focusing on anything. With a quick tug at the clasp holding his coat together the heavy furs dropped, revealing the beautiful gilded armour underneath, with the symbols of Durin’s line and Erebor all over it.

He barely looked at anyone, only quickly glancing over them.

“Thieves,” he whispered, “these Men dare to threaten and blackmail us, and now we have to fight by their sides.”

He was still in rage about that, even as he was trying to will his hands to be steady and picked out the weapons he would carry alongside his sword. 

The company glanced at him, worry on their faces. Their King would need to compose himself before the battle, or else he might grow careless.

“We will follow you to the gates,” Balin said gently, “as soon as you give the order.”

Thorin paused in putting on another belt, a dagger in hand as he was testing its balance. He glanced at Balin, then to his younger brother, so Dwalin gave him a brief nodded and proceeded with securing his axe harness, and his glances towards Nori.

Then Bofur leaned on his mattock, frowning.

“So you say there’s the chance of stray Orcs getting into the mountain?” he asked, and Balin nodded.

“Oh… Wouldn’t it be wise to leave someone here to protect it? Especially Nori, we can’t expect him to fight off more than one at a time all by himself. What if something happens?”

All of them turned to stare at Bofur, and then at Nori, who had gone tense at the remark. He had known that it might come to that, while Dwalin’s focus had been on just not letting any Orcs near in the first place. But what if…

“I’d volunteer!” Dori said firmly, “He’s my little brother, I can’t leave him unprotected.”

“I could stay, I know what limits a pregnancy brings,” Glóin cut him off.

A mutter went through them, each saying that they might help.

Thorin stood still, watching the exchange silently. 

“I would follow you anywhere,” Glóin said when he noticed the King not taking over and deciding for the company. “I will fight by your side, but I will stay with Nori to protect him if needed, and any of us would do so.”

Thorin didn’t reply to that either, still watching, and finally the attention turned to Nori, who this was all about.

“What would you want, who should stay?”

Nori glanced around nervously, fingers brushing over his knife.

“I can fight,” he said softly. “I can, I promise I can, I wouldn’t even need…”

His eyes met Dwalin’s, and there was fear in his expression.

“Dwalin… Whatever you all decide… I don’t want to be separated, please-“

Dwalin wanted to promise him that he would stay alive and that any separation would only be very brief. A promise one just could not guarantee to keep. 

He did not get to say it, as this was what made Thorin snap.

“You,” he hissed, taking a step towards Nori who startled at the King suddenly moving towards him.

“You damn _thief_! You’re just like those down below, aren’t you? A damn bastard stealing my company’s loyalty just like it’s nothing? You even dare try to make Dwalin abandon me. Is this what you planed from the start?!”

The Dwarves watched in shock as Thorin stalked towards Nori, speechless at the outburst. Nori took a step back, afraid, and Dwalin couldn’t move, tried to make sense of what Thorin was saying. He was on edge, yes, but enough to actually accuse Nori of that?

“You have what you wanted, my company is wrapped around your little finger, and has proven cowardly. They’d all rather stay in the mountain and hide away!”

Thorin’s cheeks were flushed in anger, his fist clenched so hard around his dagger that his knuckles turned white.

“You’ve always been a thief, we all knew that! Is this what made you go and get yourself knocked up? An attempt to get yourself attached to the Line of Durin? To get the loyalty of your King’s closest kin?”

Nori’s eyes flickered to the dagger, edging away as Thorin halted where he was, his voice rising until he was nearly shouting at him. The other’s threw each other terrified looks, and part of Dwalin registered that Nori’s own hand was moving to his knife.

He made a step towards them, ready to block Thorin’s path if needed, and snap at him for daring to accuse Nori of this. But Thorin’s head turned, eyes flashing and the anger on his King’s face made Dwalin stop.

“You used this to get into the company, to get gold and their support and get yourself a title, didn’t you?” Only then his gaze turned back to Nori. 

“Because you knew that Dwalin would do anything once he’s given his loyalty to someone, and that the prospect of a Dwarfling would make him do anything for you. You knew it and you used this! If that brat is even Dwalin’s, and not from someone of your lot, you filthy-“

Then everything happened at once. Thorin was loosing momentum, in just a bit he’d be done and would storm off seething, but Nori wasn’t familiar with him, was bracing himself against a fight and shifted into a defensive position, drawing his knife.

“Don’t you dare, don’t you _dare_ even if you’re the fucking _King_ ,” Nori snarled, and took one last step back, one that was just one too many and his feet caught on the maces and shields he’d been standing next to.

Just like that Nori lost his balance, waving his arms for one last moment in an attempt to keep standing, and then he crashed down, sending the maces rolling and making the shields clatter and smash over the ground. 

He hissed in pain, fumbling for support to sit back up immediately, hands not finding solid ground and only moving over the rolling maces. 

The company was frozen in stunned silence, Dwalin didn’t know how to breathe for a second and Thorin was gaping, shoulders slack and one hand stretching out as if to offer Nori help in getting up.

The next moment Dori was at Nori’s side, dropping his flail to help Nori sit.

“Oh you’ve done it now you halfwits! There’s a bloody _battle_ outside and you’ve got nothing better to do than to shout at one another and accuse your friends?”

He then turned to the rest.

“Now what? Go on then, get ready, we can’t be waiting here forever!”

His sharp tone made everyone turn back to what they had done, and Dwalin quickly finished putting on his armour. He glared at Thorin, but Thorin stared at where the brothers were still sitting on the floor. Then he braced himself and turned, glaring, and throwing Dwalin a look before walking away to Balin, who was still frowning at him. 

Kíli had found banners, somewhere, and they were presentable but she didn’t know how to assemble them properly, so Dwalin went to help.

Dori helped Nori stand and not slip on the mess of shields again, holding his elbow until Nori waved him off and leaned against the nearest wall. He winced and rubbed his behind where he’d fallen on, one hand on his belly and rubbing soothing circles. 

Thorin was pale again, but at least he looked composed, and the sound of screams and the clang of metal on metal carried up to them. The battle had started, they’d have to move down and join them in just a little bit.

Dwalin checked his axes one last time, picked up a hammer and grabbed both of the princesses’ shoulders, making sure that both Fíli and Kíli’s armour sat right and that they had what they needed.

Óin had paused in his preparations, looking sharply past them all. 

Thorin snapped a short order, and everyone moved closer to him, ready to walk down and storm out through the gates. Dwalin moved behind Thorin’s right side, taking his usual place.

He saw Nori move out of the corner of his eyes, and as he looked up he saw him bracing himself against the wall, his hand still clutching his stomach. He moved closer, pale and terrified.

“You can’t just leave!” he said, eyes fixed on Dwalin. 

He moved closer and Dwalin glanced at the company, then quickly moved towards Nori to catch him in his arms.

“I’m not _leaving_ ,” he said, and Nori shook his head violently.

“Give me just a little time, I’ll have armour, I’ll go down with you.”

Dwalin nearly snorted at that, but there was a hard set to Nori’s mouth and he was completely serious.

“You can’t, you’re pregnant.”

“I still can _fight_! Are you suggesting I just lie down and think of happy things while you all go to defend our mountain? Well, fucking think again, I’m not staying here without you!”

Somewhere behind them Óin whispered something into Ori’s ear, making the young scribe look terrified with just a few words. They glanced at their oldest brother, then moved to follow Óin.

Dwalin gently placed on hand on Nori’s elbow and cupped his cheek with the other.

“Please, stay here and safe. You know you can’t, and I’ll be right back.”

“You don’t know that!” Nori hissed, voice strained. He was pale and there was a damp sheen on his forehead. “I can fight Dwalin, I _can fight_!”

Behind Dwalin Thorin gave a short command, but he paused and stared at them for a moment, waiting.

Nori’s hands clenched around Dwalin’s arms, scratching and slipping as he tried to get a hold on to the plates shielding Dwalin’s body.

“Don’t leave me!” he begged, voice nearly shrill.

“Nori, I _will_ go and fight and protect you,” Dwalin said, his voice growing urgent. He started to feel a knot of fear as he looked down at his thief, felt the fear of dying and never seeing him again, feeling how it was difficult to breathe just thinking about how he might loose Nori or their child or both.

“Promise me that you’ll be safe.”

He kissed Nori’s cool forehead, tried to ignore the tears gathering in his eyes and how his slim hands were trembling.

“We’ll stay,” Óin said when Dwalin gently but firmly pushed Nori’s hands off him.

Nori was calm for a few seconds, watching Dwalin go, not taking his eyes of him as Dwalin couldn’t turn away even as he was following the company.

Ori was there, looking worried, and Óin had his usual bitter expression when things were getting bad. Dwalin felt cold all of a sudden, and the increasing fear in Nori’s eyes nearly made him want to stay.

“No,” Dwalin heard Nori whisper, “no, don’t do this, let me join, I’m not some fragile thing, let me fight- _Dwalin_!”

Dwalin was already at the tunnel leading down, nearly out of the hall, and Nori tried to push past Óin and Ori, tried to make a dash for him, but their hands pulled him back, gently, just a little bit, but Nori screamed in pain. 

He squirmed in pain, letting out a soft gasp, and nearly immediately tried to take another step.

“Go,” Óin said, voice tense and hard. “We will take care of him, go hold the mountain.”

Dwalin took one last look at Nori, realization creeping into his mind. But he clutched his hammer tighter and followed the others, ready for battle. He pushed all thoughts away, all but the need to protect his kin and make sure the mountain would not fall.

The sob and the weak scream of his name were just imagination when the gates were in view, there was no way a voice could carry that far, and Dwalin closed his eyes, tried not to think, tried to focus.

When Dwalin opened his eyes again he was surrounded by Dwarves, all in Erebor’s best armour, and in front of them, the gates opened to a blinding light and the sound of battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *softly whispered apologies*


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori being anxious and in pain in this one, but nothing too graphic

A single drop of sweat crawled over Nori’s temple and down into his beard. His muffled groan was too loud, louder than the last one and it’d do nothing to convince Ori to let him go. They wouldn’t, not with Óin firmly demanding that they’d hold on, not with their brother distressed and in pain.

But Nori was fine; Nori had survived worse, had survived beatings and being stabbed, and soldiered through the pain to get to safety. Well, maybe it had never been a pain like _this_ and maybe safety had never involved fighting through and entire army of Wargs and Orcs before.

He _had_ to though. Dori was down there. _Dwalin_ was, Dwalin was not by his side and he needed him.

Another stab of pain shot through Nori’s spine and his lower back but this time he was prepared and did not let any noise escape his lips.

It was only Ori holding him now, with Óin off to fetch more water. Nori couldn’t tell how long they had kept him there, each second just one excruciating moment of having to listen to the shouting and the noise from outside. His two guards had prepared everything they’d need, had not let him leave and foiled each attempt to run he had made so far.

“Ori,” he begged, trying his hardest to smile and keep his tone calm and pleasant. “You said yourself that you wanted to fight for our home. I promise I’ll be fine, but you understand, I can’t just let our brother fight all on his own. And Dwalin. We can go and you can do your best to find your princesses, all right?”

Perhaps he might have coerced his sibling into it once, when Ori had been younger, or when Nori could bluff without already having his pain be obvious and a tremor and sweat to betray him.

Ori wasn’t impressed, as predicted, their round brown eyes focused on their brother, not even a little bit of doubt in the set of his expression. They wouldn’t let Nori leave, no matter what. 

Nori’s eyes flickered across the hall, looking for a way out, for a way to grab armour and escape Ori and actually get outside. It was easy to grab weapons on the run, but he’d need armour; he knew it was suicide to go into battle without. 

Might be suicide to go at all, in this state or in general…

Óin was gone, Óin was the worst when it came to restraining patients and much as it pained Nori he _could_ overpower his little sibling.

Nori relaxed slightly, the arm Ori wasn’t holding curling around his belly, the other tugging slightly to do the same. And sure enough, Ori loosened their hold when they saw the apparent defeat on Nori’s face.

As quick as he could Nori dashed to the side, holding his arms over his belly, both on instinct and to not give Ori the opportunity to grab him again. The sound of battle from outside was all Nori heard so he ran towards it, near blinded by the cramps in his stomach and the pain and the fear.

He could not let them catch him, could not let them keep him from going down, to at least be _outside_. To the battlements, just long enough to see, he knew how Dwalin’s armour looked like, knew how it was like from helping him polish it, he just needed a glimpse, just to know where to look, surely he’d be able to find Dwalin once he spotted him.

Why couldn’t they just leave him, he had fallen, he wasn’t even bruised, he was still as quick with his knives as before, he could hold his ground. He was a Dwarf, Dwarves were meant to deal with whatever the world could throw at them and not break from it.

Then another cramp made Nori double over, the groan turning into a shrill scream of pain and surprise. It shook him and Nori forced his legs to move on, towards the battlements and his arms reached for something to hold on to, shaking.

Nori knew that that unexpected wave of pain had ruined his last chance to escape when slim arms wrapped around his wrist and larger, stronger ones took hold of his shoulders.

He could not fight off Óin in this state, not without drawing a knife and he could not slash at him, he just couldn’t risk hurting him more than necessary.

They pulled him back, and Nori let out another howl, this time one of desperation turning into a sob at the end.

“Please,” he begged, feeling wet heat on his cheeks, “please, don’t leave me here, please let me go, _please_.”

There was a large nest of blankets and furs Óin had prepared, enough pillows and rolls of whatever he had found stacked at one end that Nori’d be able to lean down against them and still remain half seated. He chocked back another sob when he saw.

“No, please don’t- I’m not- I _can_ go, please.”

He was whimpering, and Ori’s grip on his arm was still firm but now felt shaky. 

Óin’s hand wiped over Nori’s forehead, warm and it probably might have been soothing, under better circumstances. 

“Lad, you can’t go anywhere, your baby is coming.”

Nori shook his head violently, loose strands of hair flying and sticking to his damp cheeks.

“It’s not, it’s really not. It’s too early.”

“Early but not too much. That fall of yours shook you well and good.”

They were still pushing him towards the nest, Nori’s feet dragging against the smooth floor uselessly. He let out a desperate little laugh.

“It _is_ , this is nothing-“

Another cramp made Nori loose his ability to speak, nearly going slack from the shock of it.

“This brat _can’t_ be seriously coming now,” he shouted, struggling to stand and pull free. “It can’t, it’s always too fucking early, couldn’t wait to blow up my stomach for just another year, couldn’t pick a better bloody moment. _No_! It will damn well wait another two weeks and Dwalin will be _here_ -”

There was something soft at his heels and Nori started sobbing when two pairs of hands gently lowered him against the blankets. They were too soft and he sank into them, with no energy to try and get up. But he _had_ to, didn’t they understand that he could and needed to not be on his own?

Óin whispered something and Nori couldn’t even resist when Ori started to gently undress him, pull off his boots and trousers and the layers of coats, could only let himself be pushed to the side when Ori removed jackets and coats but not helping otherwise.

The pain in Nori’s stomach wasn’t leaving as it had before with each contraction… with each wave being enough to make everything else seem silly but at least they’d been brief. Now everything hurt and was cramping.

Nori whimpered softly, and he nearly sobbed again when his sibling was sent off to fetch some warm water and a pitcher with cool one to drink.

Óin was there, his hands touching Nori’s stomach and a frown on his face. He didn’t look reassuring in any way, and when he glanced up at Nori he was stern and worried.

“You’re tensing up way too much on your own,” he said, not making the problem of tenseness and better. “You need to relax, or it will hurt much more. You need to relax and breathe, do you understand? This is already a very bad situation, a _dangerous_ situation and not just because of those Orcs outside of our gates. You will breathe and do as I tell you, and I will make sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible.”

Nori nearly snapped at him, wanted to shout about how this was exactly why he couldn’t stay here and why this could not be happening. If he were just fighting with the company, with his brother and with his lover, then it’d be so much easier. But Óin’s hands were pushing him back, gently, so he only pressed his lips together.

“This isn’t ideal,” Óin went on, slowly removing his hands. “I’ve got less help that I wanted to, and since it’s just Ori we won’t have time to carry you to the old healing houses, and we’ll have to make do with you lying here. But this _will_ go over well. Just do what I tell you and I’ll make sure that you and your child are safe.”

Nori bit his lip, hating how he was still crying. There was no use in this; he couldn’t change the situation in any way. He sagged against the pillows.

“Dwalin…?” he asked, softly. “Maybe he’ll make it back in time?”

Óin’s hands were on his stomach again, then he moved down to lift the hem of Nori’s tunic, despite the thief’s weak protests. 

“You’ve probably have a few more hours to go, but one can’t tell how long a battle with such large armies might last.”

Nori closed his eyes. Just what he had feared since the first time he noticed that he was late in his bleeding. He had wanted nothing more than to have Dwalin by his side, to have him near to have him hold him and make sure that everything was all right. And even if things weren’t, Dwalin would still be there to hold and comfort Nori. He had wanted nothing but that, really.

Óin shuffled to his feet and left to fetch whatever it was he would need, and Nori didn’t look, only lay there and felt the cramps in his stomach and the fear of loosing everything tearing at him.

“ _Why_ ,” he thought at the child, “ _why can’t you just stop doing this to me? Your father promised just this_ one _thing and you decide to come just when he_ can’t _be here_.”

When he cracked open his eyes Ori was by his side again, smiling reassuringly and petting his hand.

“We’ll make sure you’ll be fine,” they promised, smiling with a confidence that nearly fooled Nori into thinking that everything _was_ as it should be. He tried to turn the corners of his mouth up for his sibling, barely managing even the slightest twitch. Ori didn’t seem to mind.

“You’ll have to relax, as Óin said. Just breathe in and out, slow and deep,” they demonstrated it, and Nori tried mimicking the breathing, even if he wanted to do anything but sit around and do it.

It was calming, and after a few minutes Nori felt the sharp pain in his stomach ease away a little. He did his best to only focus on Ori’s voice and their instructions, and not on the feeling of discomfort or the noises from the outside. If he lingered too much on that he’d just start imagining how…

When Óin returned he sat down next to Nori, and placed one hand on his stomach, waiting. Nori wanted to tell him to piss off, but he knew he really shouldn’t be getting to angry at everything. They already trapped him in the mountain without Dwalin, there was nothing worse anyone could do right now.

Then there was another contraction, starting in his lower back and making Nori gasp in pain as it passed. His hands clawed at the blankets and at Ori’s arm, making the younger Dwarf yelp in shock.

That seemed to be what Óin had been waiting for, and he removed his hand to gently pet Nori’s shoulder.

“These will be getting more frequent and stronger soon.”

“What do you mean _stronger_?!”

Óin ignored him, frowning and looking towards where the battlements were. 

“I’ll send a message to any of Dáin’s healers. As soon as the battle is over and they can enter the mountain I want one here, just in case of things not going over well. Ori, can you go look whether there are any Ravens willing to go?”

Ori nodded and ran to find a bird, leaving Nori on his own. He didn’t want to be on his own, he wanted Ori to come back; at least they’d been someone he knew and loved at his side. But at least they wouldn’t worry as much as Óin, who was used to dealing with sick and scared people after all.

“I can’t do this,” Nori whispered, trying his best to continue breathing as Ori had made him do before, “I can _hear_ them, and what if they all die? I don’t want to do this without Dwalin.”

“Laddie, I’d much prefer it if he was there was well. But he isn’t, he and our King are out there, because they couldn’t be anywhere else.”

Óin looked at Nori, frowning, his sleeves rolled up already and Nori curled his arms around his belly. He wanted some medicine, but he wouldn’t ask, he knew there was little Óin could give him, he had mentioned and what if it run out and things got even worse…

“I don’t know if I _can_ do this.”

He felt strangely calm now, with the cramps momentarily gone and a weariness settling deep in his bones.

“You’ll do it. You’ll do it to hold your child in your arms,” Óin said firmly, and his hand was on Nori’s shoulder again, squeezing slightly until Nori raised his head to meet his eyes. “I know everything is looking dire now, I’m not going to sugar-coat it, but in order to ever have your little one and Dwalin all together and happy, you _will_ do this now. Focus on that thought.”

Nori wanted to sneer at that. He didn’t do things for an off chance of them going well. Whenever he could he wanted to be sure that he’d get something out of it. All three of them dying now was as likely as having Dwalin and the child both safe and sound, wasn’t it?

Dwalin had only asked him to be safe before he left. Had wanted him to promise it. 

Dwalin had never questioned Nori, had always done what Nori thought would be safest in the end, had lied and tricked his own family and had done what he could for him. If it hadn’t been for Dwalin agreeing to the only thing he’d asked of him, Nori might be sitting in some cold dark cell in Ered Luin, or wandering on his own where nobody knew him. Either way, he’d be all by himself, and their child would be lost…

Nori’s choice would have been to not do this, to run away from the pain and the danger he couldn’t escape. There was no way of running from the only way the pregnancy could end, no way to run from the armies of Orcs and Wargs either. If he could, he’d have the child wait and only dare move when Dwalin was there to hold him.

He had no choice though. He could only try and fight it, or do what Óin said and try to stop getting too nervous or tense. He could try.

There still _was_ a chance of Dwalin managing to be there on time. And there was a chance of him being there in just a little bit, there to hold Nori and then he’d be so happy to see their child as well. 

Another wave of pain washed through Nori’s body and he cursed and hissed as he tried to remain still while it passed. Óin patted his shoulder, keeping out of the reach of Nori’s hands and Nori was sure he’d want to break something if the pain got any worse the next time or lasted longer.

“All right,” he gritted out when it was over. “I’ll do this, I’ll manage.”

He pressed his back against the pillows, leaning his head back to focus on the ceiling and keeping his breath even. He _could_ do this. He just had to think of Dori laughing and smiling at him, at Ori being pleased about not being the youngest anymore and the company cheering for his child. He had to think about how Dwalin’s face might look like when he’d get to hold their baby.

It was worth it. 

Ori returned and spoke to Óin, then did his best to comfort Nori, offering more pillows or a cool damp cloth for his forehead or anything he wanted really. 

Nori screwed his eyes shut and breathed, in and out, bracing himself for the pain and listening to the screams from outside and the clatter of shields and swords and Ori’s voice chatting as if they were trying to drown out that noise.

Nori breathed and tried not to think of the Orcs and the screams and how this might as well be the last day in any of their lives. He breathed and didn’t think of how Dwalin had looked like just before he turned to go. He breathed, and only imagined warm arms holding him and a child’s happy giggling somewhere near. 

He breathed, and tried to pretend that he wasn’t crying at all.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> battlefield and disoriented Dwalin at the beginning

If Dwalin had to consciously will his legs to move that moment, he’d have fallen to his knees and into the freezing mud. He was numb all over, not feeling anything anymore. He didn’t know whether he was hurting or tired or maybe even dead already, and whether it was just his ghost wandering through the carnage around them with how little sense he could make of anything.

He couldn’t tell where he was either, or what day it was. It was getting colder and darker, with snowflakes drifting around them. Or was it ash? It had been ash the last time Dwalin had stood on a battlefield, but he had felt something back then, hadn’t he? He hadn’t been so wary.

The mountain was shifting as well. Sometimes it was to his right, and then to his left though Dwalin could have sworn that he’d only walked a straight line. Three or four times Dwalin had made for the mountain, knew that he had to reach the gates, but by the time he could lift his eyes from where he was watching the ground, he wasn’t seeing the Lonely Mountain but the valley and the lake in front of him.

Sometimes Dwalin was sure that he heard the sound of battle and screams and noise coming from weapons hitting together close by, but when he looked there was nothing there and the noise was gone.

It was nearly too dark to see anything at times, but there were torches lit all around, held up and moving as others wandered the battlefield just like Dwalin did.

It was instinct that had him move through the fallen and carefully look for anything that still moved, and injured warriors who’d need help but could not call for it. That was just what one did if one could still stand.

The battle had taken so long this time, lasting well into the darkness of the night. Dwalin remembered letting his axes sing through the air and cutting at Orcs, doing his best to cause as much damage as possible, not just kill but also render them immobile in nothing else was possible. He had to protect the mountain after all. He remembered the Wargs and the howling of warriors, calling the names of their homeland or their leader and the strange langue of their foes. He remembered seeing glimpses of the company as it slowly was pushed apart in the hat of the battle, remembered watching out for his brother and fighting by Bifur’s side, and how Dori’s flail saved him from being crushed by a Wargrider’s club. 

Dwalin could remember seeing Fíli’s vicious dance behind her sister’s back as she kept her safe so that Kíli could fire arrow after arrow before she had to pick up her own sword as well.

He remembered how his throat had hurt at his vicious scream as he tried to fight his way through to Thorin, failing as he’d been surrounded, and howling in rage when spears pierced his friend and he was not close enough to do anything about it.

The Eagles had come when the sunset made Thorin’s golden armour gleam red with the reflection and his own blood, and Beorn had been there, out of nowhere. Dwalin knew that he saw the massive skinchanger pick up the limp body of their King and carry him to safety, but he wasn’t sure what happened after in the mess of terrified Orcs.

With that the battle had turned, and the Orcs had started to flee, with their own leader slain and their foes starting to overpower them. It had been so dark the moment Dwalin looked around in a daze and realized that it was over.

He was afraid of finding anyone of the company. What if he just found them dead? What if he found out that he might have saved them if he were just a little bit quicker?

Dwalin walked and he felt thirst and exhaustion slowly settle in. Somewhere to the east the horizon was getting light again and Dwalin wondered how he’d managed to wander through the whole night and not notice. Perhaps it had also been the battle going on into the latest hours of the night.

With the dawn the battlefield became clearer. There were little colours besides the grey and the red, with the mud and frost making everything else look pale as well. But it still made Dwalin see his surroundings clearly and actually understand what everything was, beyond the fallen right next to him.

He was very close to the mountain at least, and he saw that there were many more Dwarves wandering across the battlefield. Men and Elves as well, and it wasn’t as gruesome as that battle of his youth had been like. There were many more survivors than last time, though the dead and wounded seemed countless anyway.

Sheltered at the mountainsides there were tents, those of Men, Elves and Dwarves separate but still close together, and he saw how healers in simple leather uniforms were guiding the wounded towards those.

The light also made Dwalin able to see himself. 

His entire armour was smeared with something dark, and in the dim light he couldn’t quite made out whether it was just mud or blood, black or red, foe or friend and Dwalin felt his hands tremble at the sight. He could make out dents and cuts on the plates, some that would have killed him if his armour hadn’t been of Dwarfish make.

He still had no idea where anyone was, had no way of knowing whether anyone had survived. 

When the sun finally cast a pale red light on everything Dwalin thought that he was about to faint for a moment. It took him some time to realize that the change in colour wasn’t bad and that the redness he was seeing everywhere was just the grey shanging to other shades.

Dwalin forced himself to remain calm and walk on, stumbling towards the tents over Wargs and the dented armour of dead Orcs. He could barely stand to look at them.

On his way he saw a healer, her leather vest soiled and her hands working on bandaging a dazed warrior’s head. She looked focused on the task, even though it was a basic one, and Dwalin didn’t wish to keep her from her work. He needed to ask _someone_ though.

“The King,” he rasped out, surprised at how hoarse and rough his voice sounded. “Thorin Oakenshield, is he… In the tents? Has his company been seen to?”

The healer nodded before she looked up and pointed at the tents closest to the mountain.

“The King lies there and all of his company who already arrived in the camp went there as well, I think. Or they are helping with the injured.”

Dwalin nodded weakly and was just about to go when he noticed her staring at him, eyes wandering over his Erebonian armour and the tattoos on his head.

“Are you Dwalin son of Fundin?” she asked slowly, squinting slightly.

He nodded again, pausing to wait for an explanation. Somebody must have described him to the healers, but why?

“The Ravens are flying back and forth between those in the mountain and the ones who could only be brought to the tents due to their grave injuries. They said that the one of the company named Dwalin should go to the mountain when he can.”

She turned back to the warrior she was tending to, checked the bandage and patted him on the back to send him off. Dwalin was frozen to the spot and stared at her. 

The mountain? He should… Nori. Did that mean something had happened to him?

He took two quick steps towards the healer.

“Why the mountain? What happened, did Orcs get in or is… Did something happen to my… Why did they _send Ravens_ for this?”

He must have made a terrifying picture, snarling and his weapons all in easy reach as he stalked towards her. The Dam startled back, brow furrowed.

“I don’t know! The Raven only said tha,t but not why.”

Dwalin glared at her for a few seconds then his shoulders slumped. 

“Thank you,” he remembered to say, before he turned and walked to the mountain leaving her worried looks behind.

He walked as quickly as he could, eyes always fixed on the gates, climbing over rubble and rocks and between fallen and those who still could walk. He felt so exhausted, now that it mattered, his shoulders hurt and the heavy plates on his body seemed to be slowing him down.

Dwalin tried to run but his knees felt stiff and he couldn’t even walk in a straight line on the battlefield. He needed to be faster, needed to be up on the battlements and then in the hall where Nori surely had stayed. Óin and Ori had been there to protect him, but what could they really do if a hoard of Orcs entered? What could they do if Nori was sick and injured and what could they do if their child just didn’t…

It hadn’t been that cold, not as biting as it’d be in the deepest winter but now the air felt like it would freeze Dwalin’s lungs with each breath he took.

The gates were open when he arrived, and he passed the first few Dwarves blindly, not even questioning their tired forms and the healers leading some of the less wounded ones to rest inside. 

He found the staircase leading up towards the battlements, and he was nearly on that level when the other Dwarves finally started to take note of him.

Dwalin nearly roared and lashed out at them when hands reached for him and held him, preventing him from going further. Those were warriors though, some of them healers and some already rested, and they knew how to deal with agitated soldiers.

“Leave me!” he hissed as they started to speak. They were only talking nonsense and about meaningless things anyway.

Taking off his armour and drinking, maybe take a rest and even sleep. As if he had nothing better to do. As if he didn’t _need_ to go find Nori now, to see whether he was still alive, whether he was well. Mahal knew what could have happened while Dwalin wasn’t there, he couldn’t waste any time.

They didn’t let go and finally Dwalin let them, his hands still trembling when he stopped trying to push them away. If he stood still they’d be done quicker.

“Nori?” he asked as they worked on the clasps his fingers weren’t steady enough for. The armour was dropping quickly; he’d only let them touch him for as long as they needed.

One of the Dwarves paused, looking up at Dwalin.

“You’re Dwalin, aren’t you? Some of our healers have been requested and the one from your company, Óin, said that you’re one of those who have to come as quickly as you can.”

Dwalin stared, feeling a soft tremor run over his back.

Now that the armour was mostly off, he felt lighter, and there still was blood and mud on his vest and the chainmail underneath, where it had seeped through the cracks of the plates. It was warmer in the mountain and so close to the torches lit along the way, and with the warmth Dwalin could feel the dull throb on his right cheek and on his lips. He was probably more injured than that, but he had no mind for it now.

The healers said something about needing to clean his wounds and maybe get something for the pain, but then the last vambrace was off with their help, and Dwalin pushed his way through them, shoving them aside with ease.

They couldn’t hold him anymore as he stormed off, up, with no weapons left and of what use would those be if there was no actual enemy for Dwalin to fight. He ran and he recognized the corridor, recognized the light coming from the hall and he could barely _breathe_ in his fear.

For a second he didn’t know what he was seeing, he heard strangers’ voices protesting loudly, saying that it was no place for a raging brute and he pushed past them with ease, ignoring it. 

He saw Ori huddled close to a brazier, barely even sitting upright, he saw scattered weapons in one corner and a pile of bandages or towels soaking in water, and he saw one of the healers looking up at him in surprise, and was that blood on the front of his tunic? 

There wasn’t supposed to be blood, there couldn’t be and Dwalin could have screamed as he saw, tried to tell whether it was red or sickly black like that of Orcs, and he was already reaching for his hammer than wasn’t there anymore but he had to do _something_ and his first frantic glances showed no sign of Nori even though he _had_ to be there. If he wasn’t, were else could he be, what had happened, why had nobody told him? And then Óin was there and his clothes were ruffled and he was smiling, _why_ was he smiling if Nori was lost and Dwalin had been to late and failed at everything-

Then there was a bundle in his arms, gently placed there by Óin, who was still smiling, and he only let go when Dwalin’s arms curled around it on instinct. He felt the softness of the clean and warm blanket against his bare forearms and recognized the texture before he even managed to look down at the tiny something in its centre.

Dwalin heard a gasp, realized that it was him, letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“Congratulations, Dwalin,” Óin said, and his tone was far too pleased. “Your son is a strong and healthy little child. The latest addition to the line of Durin, and I’d say I can see the resemblance already.”

The Dwarfling’s little face was so endlessly tiny against the folds of the blanket and in Dwalin’s arms. His cheeks were rosy and looked so soft that Dwalin didn’t dare even think about touching with his oversized rough hands. A fluffy shock of dark hair stood out in every direction, as if somebody had dried it off a while ago, and Dwalin couldn’t tear his eyes from the tiny nose and the slightly parted lips as the baby dozed. 

He had the tiniest fists Dwalin had ever seen, curled just above the blanket’s edge. They’d probably be too small to close around one of his fingers.

Dwalin had no idea how long he stood there, looking down at the little one and something about his expression made the others laugh.

When Dwalin finally managed to tear his eyes away from the baby’s face the healers he didn’t know were smiling, and packing things into their pockets to leave. Ori was yawning in their corner, and rubbing their eyes slightly, and Óin had his hand on Dwalin’s elbow, leading him gently.

And finally Dwalin saw where Nori was, in the furthest corner from the main entrance to the hall, sitting in a nest of blankets and cuddled into furs. He seemed to be wearing one of the oversized coats they had gotten in Laketown like a nightgown, only that it was washed and patched up, and his hair has falling unbound over his shoulders.

He was smiling up at Dwalin, tired, but looking utterly satisfied with himself. His cheeks were flushed and there was a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead, but he looked _healthy_ and uninjured. He was more beautiful than Dwalin had ever seen him before.

Nori stretched out his arms a little bit, reaching up, and Dwalin was still too stunned to understand until Óin very carefully lifted the baby out of Dwalin’s arms and carried him to the bed.

With some slightly shuffling Nori curled his arms around the child, tugging at the blankets to have him rest against his chest better. The baby fussed a little, but then stilled again, as he was held. Where he had seemed impossibly tiny in Dwalin’s arms he did look like a very big child against Nori’s slim frame, and Dwalin felt a wave of pride and awe wash over him.

Nori turned away for a few moments, gently petting the little one’s cheek and sinking deeper into the blankets. Only then did he look up at Dwalin again, watching him expectantly.

“Nori,” Dwalin managed to croak out, though he wasn’t even sure whether he was being audible.

He took a step towards the makeshift bed, then another, until he was right by Nori’s side, and then he sank to his knees, feeling all exhaustion drop of him but also an inability to move settle over him.

“Glad you made it back to us,” Nori said, smile widening. His voice was hoarse as well, and he sounded so happy and tired. 

Dwalin leaned closer, bracing himself on the blankets with one arm and reaching out with the other. 

He wanted to touch the child, and feel whether his hair was as soft as it looked and whether he would be warm under his palm. His hands were round and battered though, he didn’t want to hurt the little one, or do something he wasn’t allowed to.

He glanced towards Nori, who was still grinning, looking more pleased by the second, and he didn’t pull the baby away or frown at Dwalin, so Dwalin took it as a permission to touch.

His son’s hair was downy soft, and Dwalin nearly pulled away again when he saw how easily his hand could cradle the boy’s head. He moved a little, but didn’t look like he’d wake up or was uncomfortable, simply dozed on against his bearer’s chest and with his sire’s hand cautiously petting his head.

“I think he might have your nose,” Nori said as he watched Dwalin fondly. “But one can barely tell how yours was like unbroken anymore.”

Dwalin only reluctantly tore his eyes away from the sleeping boy, even if it was to look at Nori instead.

And even with his smile not being so wide anymore he just looked so _pleased_ about everything, pale despite his cheeks still being nearly feverishly flushed, and so exhausted, but he held their child in his arms and he’d made it, and Dwalin had as well.

He wanted to ask about how Nori felt, but that was a useless question considering his expression, or how it’d been like. That too, was useless, since Dwalin couldn’t describe what he’d felt during the battle anymore.

“When was he born?” he asked instead.

“A few hours before dawn I think? I honestly didn’t care enough to ask for the time.”

Nori leaned his head down briefly, to kiss the top of the baby’s head.

“You were quite a pest to me, weren’t you? Being too impatient and then taking your time like nobody cares.”

Dwalin reached up to cup Nori’s face in his hand, smiling at the way he rubbed his cheek against it.

“But you did it. You actually did it!”

The laugh he let out was surprising and thankfully not too loud, as it might have woken the baby.

Both Nori and the child were _here_ and safe, and the mountain was there to shelter them and Dwalin thought he’d drop from the relief and the happiness washing over him.

“You did it.”

Dwalin kissed Nori’s cheek, grateful and unsure about how to express his gratitude any better, how to show that he _loved_ Nori _so much_ and their child as well, and how he was grateful to have them both healthy and how indescribably grateful he was to Nori, for gifting him this moment.

So he kissed Nori again, kissed his cheek over and over and kissed his lips and nose and pressed kissed to his forehead and cheekbones and his temples, kissed every inch of Nori’s face and ignored the laughter and Nori’s fists knocking against Dwalin’s chest when he started to lean in and hold Nori as close as he could.

Finally he stopped, after far too few kisses, and leaned his forehead against the side of Nori’s head, breathing in and feeling his scent and his warmth. His lip stung, and perhaps he should be taking it easy if it was split, but he didn’t care.

“Thank you,” Dwalin whispered, so that only Nori would be able to hear, and then Nori’s slim fingers stroked over his beard and cheek where it wasn’t bruised.

“You’re very welcome,” Nori purred.

Then his smiled dropped and his tone grew serious.

“I have to thank _you_ , really.”

Before Dwalin could ask about what Nori meant he was being kissed, softly and deeper than any of his quick pecks from before.

It stung and both their lips were dry and Dwalin cradled Nori’s head to hold him closer and returned the kiss.

By the time Nori pulled back Dwalin had nearly slid down against the makeshift pillows so that he was nearly stretched out at Nori’s side. The baby had started to fuss a little at the minor commotion his parents had caused, and immediately Nori’s hands went back to cradling and rocking him back to sleep.

Dwalin took the opportunity to glance over the shoulder at the others in the hall. There were only a couple of Dwarves he didn’t know, most seemed to be on their way to the battlements anyway. Óin had turned his back to the little family, to give them privacy perhaps, and was instead helping Ori lie down against some bedrolls rather than doze while sitting awkwardly.

The baby was back to sleeping soundly, and Nori watched it for signs of discomfort or need. Dwalin settled against the pillows, feeling the ache of his injuries and exertion finally catching up with his body, but he ignored it and put his hand on Nori’s knee, pulling him closer and playing with the strands of his soft hair with his other hand.

Nori leaned his head against Dwalin’s shoulder, curling in a little, to be closer to him and hold the boy tighter as well. He looked like he could use some sleep, and Dwalin knew the healers would soon enough notice that nobody had tended to him yet, they always did. Before they did so, he’d use any moment to just sit there and watch his two treasures.

He shifted so that his arm was shielding Nori and the child, and smiled. He’d not let any second of this go to waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news, nobody will have to go murder me for this anymore


	23. Chapter 23

Dwalin and Nori got half an hour of holding on to each other and their child before Óin gently, but very firmly made Dwalin get up to be checked over for injuries. One of the other healers went to check on Nori as well, to see whether he was still going well. The baby also needed care, so Nori reluctantly let another healer pick him up.

Dwalin gave Nori a quick kiss before he followed Óin to the far end of the hall for privacy. The throb on the right side of his face was getting painful and noticeable, and it was hard to get his chainmail off. With some help it was manageable, and Óin at least knew how to be gentle. 

There were deep bruises all over his body, some of which made Dwalin wince when he just glanced at them. His tunic stuck to his back with dried blood where a spear had hit him hard enough to make the skin burst and there were cuts and torn skin here and there. 

It wasn’t anything serious, thank Mahal, and Óin even agreed that he could walk about once his bruises were cleaned and cared for. He had some salves, cool against Dwalin’s skin even if it hurt to be touched there, and bandages, more wasn’t needed for now.

“How was the battle,” Óin asked quietly, as he wrapped the clean and warm bandages around Dwalin’s torso and arm. 

He had asked the warriors from the Iron Hills already, but it was another thing to speak to his cousin and somebody of the company. 

The rumour of Thorin and the princesses being hurt had spread. Everyone had seen them, in their golden armour, everyone knew the royal family. Most had heard about the Eagles and how the battle had happened. While lying with Nori Dwalin had tried to ignore anything he heard, but he couldn’t ignore the talk completely, just as he couldn’t forget the image of Thorin pierced through by enemy weapons. 

“Gruesome,” Dwalin whispered. What else was there to say? How was he supposed to compare it to anything? The battle of his youth had been so different, and there had not been anything else coming close. 

“I can’t recall it.”

Óin nodded and secured a bandage across Dwalin’s ribs. There was nothing else to add then, they both had experience with forgetting details, with only fully understanding every memory later on. 

Besides, there was no room in Dwalin’s heart for the grief. It was not like before, when he felt like it was there, but supressed. Not like the times he had to try and deal with it on his own. Now there was only warmth and joy in his heart, and all of the sorrow he would have felt otherwise simply didn’t stay.

He had a child and his Nori was well, they were _safe_ , finally safe, how could Dwalin not be happy? 

There was some fear left from earlier, he still couldn’t quite believe that everything had turned out right, in his family. 

Óin noticed the tenseness in Dwalin’s posture, and he stilled briefly, to give him a look.

“How was it… here?” Dwalin asked tentatively. “Was Nori fine?”

Óin sighed and picked up another roll of bandages. 

“It was… hard. I was worried about Nori, to be honest. I only had Ori here to help, and they’re good, but still very young and alone. Nori was afraid, of course. It would have been much easier to have a helping hand or someone to hold him up, and maybe a better place. An actual seat, stone to brace against rather than blankets.”

The touch on his skin was more biting than before, but Dwalin held still, listening, cursing himself for not being there. 

“I don’t remember being this aware of everything that can go wrong before. He’s a fighter though, it took a very long time but in the end everything turned out right, didn’t it? No need to worry anymore!”

Dwalin’s lips quirked into a smile and he turned around to look back, despite Óin’s protests and reminders to keep still. 

The healers were done with Nori and the baby was returned to him. Nori was cradling him against his chest, a tiny hand was curled around his finger and he was whispering something, his lips moved but Dwalin couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

Óin made him turn back for the last few minutes he needed to finish him up. 

“I have never heard such _creative_ insults though,” Óin went on, “make sure your little one doesn’t hear them or won’t repeat them for another century.”

Dwalin let out a barking laugh, and shook his head. Of course.

In the end Óin gave him some medicine to help numb the pain, and gave him a cup of some cold brew to chase it down with. Only then Dwalin was given leave to return to Nori.

Nori smiled up at him when Dwalin sat down and cuddled up to his little family. The baby still feeding, so Nori very cautiously held him tighter to snuggle up against Dwalin.

“Hello,” he said, smiling and letting Dwalin adjust their positions so that they were comfortable and none of his injuries ached too much at the contact. 

Dwalin gave him a kiss to the forehead instead of a reply, and then looked down at their child. This was the first time he saw him awake, and it was a whole new wonder. The boy looked sleepy, with his eyes closed and completely focused on sucking and holding on to Nori’s finger. 

It took Dwalin a few seconds to notice that Nori was still speaking to him.

“You’re fine, yes? What did Óin say?”

Dwalin rubbed his nose against Nori’s cheek and gently patted his knee for comfort. 

“Everything is fine,” he promised, and Nori turned back to look at the baby.

It was a mesmerizing sight, and Dwalin watched until the boy seemed to have had enough. His tiny head rolled against Nori’s chest as he smacked his lips softly, but his hand gripped tighter. It was adorable.

Nori very gently pulled the baby closer and rearranged his robe to cover himself, while Dwalin pulled up more blankets so they’d both be warm. The baby let them shift and pull, not minding the commotion much and watching Nori.

“Do you want to hold him again?” Nori asked softly, and ran a thumb over the boy’s soft cheek.

“A little.”

Dwalin was still nearly afraid to pick up the tiny fragile baby, even if he wasn’t that small. His son was big, as far as babies went, or so it seemed, and he was a Dwarf, not fragile at all, as little as his bearer was. 

Nori put the boy into his lap, and Dwalin reached out to curl a hand around the bundle for support. A tiny fist reached out from between the folds of the blanket, and found Dwalin’s index finger, holding tight immediately. 

Dwalin knew that his smile must look stupid, but Nori was grinning too, so it didn’t matter.

“Hello my little pebble,” Dwalin said softly and leaned closer. He worried a little that the baby might be frightened by him and the bruises and cuts in his face, but perhaps it wouldn’t.

“I’m glad to finally meet you!”

The boy had been staring at the edge of his blanket, but as Dwalin spoke he slowly turned his face to look up at him. His eyes were the light blue of a new-born, but it looked good on him, perhaps the colour would stay. He focused on Dwalin’s face, studied it as calmly as he had watched Nori before, and Dwalin could feel his heart swell and skip a beat.

“I hope you won’t be up to as much mischief as your Da,” he told him, and Nori laughed and swatted at him, while the baby lost interest and returned to looking at its hands and the blanket.

Dwalin leaned down and kissed the boy’s forehead gently, his beard brushed against his nose and the sides of his face, causing him to whine softly and squirm in Nori’s hold.

Dwalin laughed at that and brushed his hand over the boy’s head as an apology and Nori hoisted him back up so that he was lying against his chest and also leaning against Dwalin. The baby still seemed ruffled about being tickled and moved around, but in the end it settled down.

It was the best feeling in the world to curl his arms around Nori and hold both him and the child, even if it ached a little, even if Nori tried to shift and be able to hold on to Dwalin as well at first. But it was good, and they’d be left alone now, they would be good.

“I love you,” Dwalin told Nori, as they finally were both still. He could barely see Nori’s smile at that angle, but Nori leaned his head against his shoulder and that was enough.

Dwalin was tired after the day before and the sleepless night, and Nori was still moving stiffly and with little of his usual energy, so they didn’t speak much, just leaned together and held their son. Nori seemed to doze off a couple of times, while Dwalin was content with simply lying still and not doing anything that took effort. For now that was rest enough, and their son seemed to be content doing just that as well.

Hours passed like that, barely anyone even came close to them, most slept, Óin prepared bandages and medicine along with some other Dwarves, and any news from outside the mountain were spoken so quietly that Dwalin didn’t hear. 

Eventually Dwarves he knew arrived as well, Dwarves of the company. The first was Bifur, followed by Glóin. Bifur seemed to have a headache and barely lifted his face from where he was watching his feet, while Glóin moved stiffly and slower than usual. Both were excited to see Nori well and Dwalin holding the little one.

Bifur sat down close by, watching the three, and he seemed to be smiling, which was hard to tell under the mess his hair and beard were. Glóin was loudly making jokes once he saw the boy, asking about what Óin had done to Nori and how the lad was most certainly like Dwalin. He laughed and told Nori to take care, telling him of terrible mischief Dwalin had been up to, but his eyes were wet and he looked happy about the babe.

When some soldiers brought a pot of hot soup up to them, Dori arrived as well, looking tense and his arm in a sling. Once he saw his siblings, Ori still in heavy sleep and Nori dozing safely in Dwalin’s arms, he relaxed, face melting into a smile. 

Any jarring of his arm was painful to the pretty Dwarf, but with some help he managed to cradle his nephew in his good arm, and cooed down at the boy while he fumbled with the ends of Dori’s beard. Nori only let Dori have him since they were brothers, he hadn’t wanted to give his son out of his hold when Glóin had asked to take a better look, or when Bifur had wanted to. At least Nori had reluctantly promised to let everyone hold him later on.

Once Dori was satisfied with his little brother and the baby being hale, he went to check on Ori. 

Bombur, Fíli and Kíli weren’t in a condition to walk up to the battlements apparently, the princesses were resting and Bombur had twisted his ankle and would not hobble so far. Bofur was fine, from what Glóin could tell, but had chosen to help search for survivors and those who needed help.

There was little anyone knew of Thorin, only that he was in good hands and that the healers did everything they could. Óin frowned at that, hands pausing where they had been mixing medicine to help with pain. He finished working on that though, before he got up and said he’d see what he could find out.

After everyone had eaten and it was little past midday when an Iron Hills Dwarf arrived with a message.

“Thorin Oakenshield is awake,” she told them with a grave voice. “He is very weak but he is asking for the company.”

She looked around, until her eyes fell on where the little family was huddled.

“He’s especially asking after you.”

Dwalin tightened his grip around Nori and stared. 

Thorin might as well die this very day, and he could not let him be alone. He was his oldest friend, his cousin, his King; he needed to be there for him.

Nori was warm against his side, and he didn’t want to let him go. The baby was dozing, and Dwalin wished that Thorin would know of him, get to meet the child now, should it come to the worst.

“I have to go,” he said and he saw some of the others nodding. They all wanted to see their King, wanted the chance to say farewell if it came to the worst as well. 

Nori’s grip tightened around Dwalin’s sleeve, but he nodded, understanding the need to go see the King. He could barely stand on wobbly legs; otherwise he would have gotten up.

Dwalin disentangled himself, and kneeled at Nori’s side while Ori was gently shaken awake. Those who could walk would go soon, but Dwalin needed to go right away. He was already cared for, his injuries would not keep him. He paused though, looking down at their son.

“I would want Thorin to know him,” he said, and he saw how the others were watching him with sadness and understanding in their eyes. “He is my firstborn and Thorin should meet the youngest of his family.”

Dwalin heard the others agree and for a second he thought Nori would as well, but then his arms tightened around the baby.

“Don’t take him,” he protested tiredly. “I don’t want to- I can’t go.”

Nori looked miserable at that, and Dwalin gently brushed a loose strand of hair out of Nori’s face and behind his ear.

“Then I’ll take you with me.”

It was a matter of minutes to put on his chainmail again. Dori chided them about how easily it was to drop someone in such a state, but it was easy to lift Nori. Dwalin didn’t mind the weight at all, and he knew he’d be able to lift more, so he carefully took Nori in his arms, making sure that Nori was still able to cradle their baby.

The Iron Hills messenger hesitated, but then she smiled and led the way, slowly then a little faster when Dwalin had no problems keeping up.

Nori leaned against his broad chest, and the baby seemed more excited than upset about the way down the stairs to the gates. Dwalin held Nori close, made sure that his hands had a firm grasp on him so he wouldn’t fall. Nori didn’t even slip a little, and Dwalin just had to walk.

As they got closer to the gate more Dwarves were there, and they watched as Dwalin passed. Most of them had been there before Dwalin had even arrived in the mountain, so they knew of the baby and Nori, had maybe even seen them before. Some hadn’t, and Dwalin wondered briefly how quickly the information might spread.

Before he was out of the gate Nori tugged at the child’s blankets a little, made sure that he was completely covered and held him closer to his chest. It wasn’t that cold anymore, the sun warmed them and it was beautiful, nearly. The day was clear and there was frost und the ground, where nobody had walked a path yet. Wind would occasionally swirl up some of the snow that had fallen some time before. Their breaths came out in tiny white puffs, but neither Nori nor the baby shivered from the cold.

Dwalin walked, eyes fixed on the Dam’s back, but he did notice the stares. They all saw him in his Erebor armour and with the bandages peeking out from under his sleeves and the bruises on his face, carrying a slim Dwarf with a baby on his arms. Nori held his chin up, proud and not caring for anything around them, only paying attention to the child. He leaned his head against Dwalin’s shoulder, and Dwalin suspected that he was pleased by the picture they made, and by the ridiculousness of being carried past a battlefield. 

Dwalin ignored them all as well, didn’t look at any of the Dwarves who watched them in wonder, didn’t care when he saw them whisper. Everyone knew that they were members of Thorin’s company, heroes, and that the child was battleborn, as well as the first little Dwarfling to be born in Erebor ever since Smaug had driven them out.

There were Men and Elves as well; staring, some probably not even realizing that Nori was holding a baby. Dwalin didn’t waste any thoughts on what they might think of it.

Finally they approached the tents Thorin was in, and the Iron Hills Dwarf slowed down. Dwalin felt himself tense up, and Nori felt it as well, glancing up with worry on his face.

Bofur was at the tents, and though he looked distressed before they approached he did crack his usual cheerful smile, widening more as he saw what Nori was cradling against his chest.

“So the little one made it out all right!” he laughed, and Dwalin felt a little comforted by Bofur’s presence. He wasn’t sure what he should expect inside, and then Bofur already held the tent’s door open and Nori patted his chest gently, to let him know he was ready.

It was dark and warm in the tent when Dwalin entered, but there were lamps burning further in a corner, surrounding a cot. The memory of Thorin pierced by spears fought to be acknowledged in Dwalin’s mind, but he pushed it aside. Now was not the time.

Balin was inside, sitting in a chair with pillows offering him support for his back, and he looked pale and miserable as he stared at the King’s form. Thorin himself looked oddly fragile and small bedded on the furs spread over the cot. His breath came at an audible wheeze, and there were bandages across his ribs, arm and head. Both of them turned their head when they felt the draught of the open door.

“Dwalin?” Thorin’s voice was weak but hopeful, and Balin made a move to rise from his chair to greet his little brother but thought the better of it. Even that little motion had him wincing.

Thorin looked tired as he tried to make out Dwalin’s shape in the dim light, and his eyes widened a little when he stepped closer to the lamps. Both him and Balin noticed Nori right away, and the bundle in his arms as well. Balin just looked relieved and as if somebody had lifted a weight of his shoulders, but Dwalin wasn’t entirely sure what to make of Thorin’s expression.

“My King,” Dwalin said and bowed his head respectfully.

Thorin just pulled a face at that.

“Dwalin please… Come closer?”

He tried to sit up a little, but there was little support in the pillows behind his back so Thorin had to remain lying still. His brow was furrowed and as Dwalin came close he saw that it was guilt on Thorin’s face, and pain, both physical and emotional.

Thorin watched them approach, and then his eyes fixed on Nori. His face twisted and he looked away briefly, before he could return his gaze again.

“You are well?” he asked, quietly, and Nori nodded briefly. 

When they were right by the side of Thorin’s bed Dwalin very gently lowered Nori so that he could stand without letting go of their child. Nori kept one hand braced against Dwalin’s elbow, but otherwise he seemed to be able to stand just fine. 

Thorin watched them do that, and Balin managed a soft smile. Both of them looked so tired though.

“I can’t ask you to forgive me,” Thorin started when Nori and Dwalin returned their attention to him, and then his eyes turned to Nori.

“What I said, none of it is true, I know that, I know that now and I knew it before. I know you, Nori, and I know Dwalin, and not even the greatest blows from all around me would justify me saying such a thing to you! You are loyal to me, the company, and to your family first, and that’s good, it’s a good thing, I should never have expected anyone to act otherwise.”

Thorin paused as a cough shook him, making him tremble with each wince and Balin half rose from his chair, looking alarmed. In the end it passed and Thorin waved him off with his good hand, taking a deep breath and fixing his eyes back on Nori.

“What I said and did is unforgivable, and if anything had happened I’d have refused all rights and love our Maker has for each of his children, once I am in his halls.”

Nori held the baby closer to his chest and shook his head. He made a strange picture standing among three noble warriors, all wounded and one lying on what could yet turn into his deathbed, with a ragged and too long coat used as a gown and his hair falling free and tangled over his shoulders. 

“You were on edge, you snapped,” Nori said softly. “I can’t say I’m not used to seeing that. I think I know you as well, your Majesty, I would not have followed an intentionally cruel man.” 

Thorin looked from him to Dwalin, regret on his face.

“I don’t deserve your loyalty now, not as a King, and not as a friend or kinsman.”

Thorin closed his eyes, not doing anything but taking deliberately slow and steady breaths. He was in pain, even though they must have given him milk of the poppy and anything to soothe him. Knowing him, Thorin had probably refused anything that would dull his mind too much, once he had regained consciousness.

“I might not live to see the end of the day,” Thorin started again. “They won’t let me see my nieces yet, I’m too weak to go to them and they won’t bring them to me either. But I must make amends, I have to let you all know that I see how I failed.”

Dwalin took his hand gently, and crouched down by Thorin’s side. Behind him Nori’s hand found his back and didn’t let go, as he braced himself slightly.

“You haven’t failed,” he said, then added with a firmer voice. “And you _will_ live. I don’t care what you think about what you deserved. You reclaimed the mountain. You are a good King, a good leader. And our family will not be broken so easily.”

Thorin watched Dwalin wearily, but his fingers curled around Dwalin’s hand. And finally he looked past Dwalin, and at what Nori was holding. He looked afraid then, before he asked. 

“This is your child,” he asked quietly. 

Nori edged closer and wrapped both his arms around his son before very carefully reaching out. Dwalin caught the baby in his arms and Nori’s hands were back to holding on to his back as he watched anxiously. Dwalin cradled his son briefly, and then very carefully laid the bundle on Thorin’s blankets, taking care not to put any weight on his body and so that he would be able to see the newest addition to their line.

“My son,” Dwalin told him, and Thorin’s hand came up to hold the bundle steady.

Thorin looked at the baby in wonder, tension melting of his features, and the boy watched him eyes moving over the King’s face curiously, and then fixing on the shiny bead at the end of Thorin’s braid. 

“He’s so much like you as a baby!” Balin exclaimed. He looked incredibly moved by the sight of his little nephew, but he didn’t manage to lean forwards to watch for long.

Thorin very cautiously brushed on hand over the baby’s cheek, then looked up at Dwalin.

“He really does.”

All four of them watched the child, and how its little fists curled and uncurled. It made a little noise when Thorin touched him again, causing the King to flinch and pull his hand away, but he didn’t seem bothered by the touching. He just watched back, and after a few moments he reached out and took Thorin’s bead, to start tugging and pulling at it.

Dwalin broke the boy’s hold on it gently before he started to try and put it into his mouth, and Thorin laughed as he saw that. It was a happy laugh, with no bitterness in it.

“The youngest of Durin’s line. Truly the son of both of you.”

Thorin reached out to touch Dwalin’s shoulder and pull him closer. They knocked their foreheads together, and Dwalin felt how he seemed to be so much more at ease than before.

When Thorin finally released Dwalin, he stood up straight again, taking his child in his arms. Nori was there immediately, reaching for his son and holding on to both him and Dwalin, so Dwalin wrapped his free arm around his waist.

Thorin seemed amused by the picture they made, and next to him Balin’s eyes were shining suspiciously.

“You will make good parents,” Thorin finally stated, and he sounded as if he’d accept nothing to say otherwise. “From how you have acted so far I can only say that your boy is very lucky.”

Then he turned to Nori.

“And I am honoured to welcome you as part of the family.”

There was a question in his voice, but Nori smiled at him.

“I am honoured to be part of yours.”

Dwalin felt his heart beat harder and he squeezed Nori slightly.

Outside there were voices, and they heard Bofur’s relieved call of “Bilbo!”. Thorin lifted his head at the noise.

“Bilbo?” he asked, voice turning weak again. “Please, let him come here, I must… I must talk to him.”

Dwalin watched him with a pained look, but then he nodded, as Nori bowed his head, and they walked out slowly. 

Bilbo was right in front of the tent, his hair matted with mud and blood, and he looked terrified and upset as he stared at where Thorin was. Bofur was by his side, looking relieved but sad as well.

“Is he still… Is he alive? Should I see him, I don’t want him to be upset…” Bilbo was saying just when Dwalin and Nori walked out. 

“He asked for you,” Dwalin just told him, nearly startling Bilbo where he stood. 

The Hobbit looked relieved as he saw them standing and not too injured, and then afraid again. He managed a weak smile that widened a little as he saw the child, but then he braced himself and walked into the tent. 

Bofur’s shoulders slumped and he let out a tired sigh.

“The company’s accounted for, at least,” he said. He glanced towards the mountain, and Dwalin could see familiar figures coming towards them in the distance. 

It seemed to be getting colder already, the short winter’s day turning into evening. Their son was fussing slightly and Nori leaned against Dwalin, harder than before.

“I’m cold,” he said tiredly and held the baby to his chest, to rock it gently.

Dwalin leaned down and carefully picked Nori up again. He felt weary as well, but not exhausted enough to not be able to carry Nori back into the mountain and to bed. He gave Nori a soft kiss to the cheek when he had him secure, then he walked back to the gates.

This time he really saw the many faces that turned towards them, saw them whisper and look at Nori and the child with shiny eyes. They wouldn’t know who they were yet, some might have heard of Dwalin, but would they know what to do with this information? All they saw was the child, and its parents, and Dwalin had no interest in letting anyone ask anything now. Something about his look kept them all way at least, and no Elves or Men crossed his way anymore. 

Nori was in his arms and their son was being lulled to sleep by the up and down of Dwalin’s steps. 

Dwalin walked across the edges of the battlefield and he held on to Nori, and he had never felt so proud of what he had achieved as now, and in that moment nothing else mattered at all.


	24. Chapter 24

The rhythmic clang of hammers on stone and metal were nearly like proper music, and the sound followed Nori even three levels above where the work was being done. He couldn’t see that particular square and the pretty guildhall where the workers where (other buildings obstructed the view) but he knew exactly what was being done. He had been there when Glóin had signed off the contract and the wages for the Dwarves working on that, while muttering about how he was missing his lunch working overtime yet again.

Erebor was slowly beginning to thrive, very nearly a full year after it had been reclaimed. People lived here again, and the markets were already starting to return to their previous glory and variety. Hundreds of Dwarves had come with their families and trade, settling in the Lonely Mountain, and on the outside Dale was inhabitable already, though the city itself needed more repairs than Erebor.

As far as Nori understood it, now the main focus were the luxurious and not urgently necessary repairs, such as the waterways, the greenhouses in the south-eastern caverns and some of the larger mines and forges. The city itself had been restored so that there was room for twice the current population, and only now water pipes and supply tunnels were in demand. The more Dwarves came, the more workers could do the repairs, so there was no rush in any of that.

Three loud and dull crashes were heard, then it was back to the hammers.

On Nori’s hip his son started to squirm a little, trying to look for where that had come from. Nordin had been a little frightened the first few times he’d been this close to constructions and the noises that followed, but by now he only got curious, sometimes.

“They’re opening up the streets,” Nori said, and gently nudged Nordin back to lean against his chest better. Dori had helped him wrap a sheet so that he’d be able to carry his baby and have his hands free, but it still gave Nordin room to squirm and shift in ways that made Nori worry about him loosing balance. 

Nordin turned his little head towards the noise for another few moments, and then he settled against Nori’s soft wide collar instead. Nori cupped his head with his hands gently, and smiled. His boy was a sweet baby, curious and already watching everyone and babbling nonsense, and he loved being held and cuddled. He often reached for people, when they thought it was time to let him nap or sit on a blanket and play by himself. 

Nori walked up another set of wide stairs, and by now he could feel a cool draft of air over his face. Soon they’d be on the paths and balconies high on the outside of the mountain, far above the battlements. Perhaps there would be snow now, lasting long enough to remain lying on the smooth stones. Nordin had loved it before, and had tried to clumsily catch the tiny snowflakes he’d already seen.

There were only few Dwarves around in the city, and this high up Nori didn’t see anyone at all. Most who didn’t work would be in the greater caverns, or in their own homes, preparing everything with Durin’s Day this close. It would be a week of celebrations for Erebor, with the New Year, the anniversaries of Erebor’s reclamation, the memorial for the Battle of Five Armies, Thorin’s coronation…

And Nordin’s first birthday, of course. They’d need to make a special small party, just for that, apart from the celebrations. Thorin and Fíli would not want to miss that, and it’d give the former company a good opportunity to just gather privately on such a special day.

Nori didn’t feel like participating in the actual party much, even after a year there was a bitter taste in his mouth at the thought of how he’d nearly lost everything in one blow. He wasn’t sure whether Nordin was entirely old enough for that either, or whether he’d like the additional mess and the noise. If Nori agreed, Thorin would probably like to honour the child’s birthday like that as well, but Nori wasn’t sure whether he’d like the attention. Sometimes it still was overwhelming to have people look at him and his son, and know that he had borne a child, that he was a parent, and sometimes having Nordin was unbelievable as well.

The tunnel narrowed, and ahead Nori could see three sets of gates leading to the outside, all three opened wide. Dwalin was waiting for him, leaning against the first one. He smiled as he saw them, straightening and glancing at Nordin before speaking.

“There you are,” he said, the rumble of his voice making Nordin stir again, as he tried to see where his ‘Ada had come from. 

Dwalin came closer, one hand on Nordin’s back, the other against Nori’s side, and he briefly tapped their foreheads together. He didn’t remove his hands when his attention turned to his son.

“Here you are, my little pebble.”

Nordin gave him a big toothless smile, always so happy to see his father, so happy to see anyone friendly. Dwalin had left very early that morning, before the baby had woken, so now he was especially pleased.

“He’s not a pebble anymore,” Nori told him, but Dwalin never listened. Nordin was a very big child, had always been that, but to Dwalin he really still was tiny and light.

“Do you want to go outside? It won’t be too cold?”

“Dori will come over later, I wanted to take a walk with Nordin before. He won’t be cold, he’s wrapped up tight.”

Dwalin’s smile softened, and he curled his arm around Nori, finally, pulling him in close until he was holding him tight and gently, Nordin warm between them but not squished. He cradled Nori’s neck and leaned down for a tender kiss. 

Nori tilted his head up, his hands found Dwalin, and he purred into the touch.

This wasn’t something he was quite used to either. Being able to kiss Dwalin however often he wanted, where he wanted, having Dwalin’s child in his arms and his beads in his hair, for everyone to see. After so many decades of nothing, of being together secretly, this was pure bliss, and once in a while Nori just had to stop what he was doing to realize that he’d never be chased again, that he never had to pretend he didn’t know Dwalin, that Dwalin was his, that he had a son, that his brothers would never want for anything, and that they would never need to worry about him anymore.

It was best in the late evenings and nights. He could play with his son and sing him to sleep, with his grandmothers’ lullabies, feed him and tuck him in with his blanket and doll to watch over him until he was sure that Nordin was safe and warm and asleep.

And in the nights Dwalin was _always_ there. It was still a surprise on some, when Nori woke up and the bed was warm next to him, with Dwalin sleeping and neither of them needing to sneak away. It was so nice to wake up and seek comfort and be pulled into a hug by a half conscious Dwalin, or doze and then feel his big shape cuddle up behind him. 

Nori was never lonely in a cold and uncomfortable bed anymore, he had a nest of blankets and Dwalin’s bulk there to hold onto and sometimes Nordin slept in their bed as well, when he was upset or didn’t feel well or just because. 

It was nice to be able to wake up and start the day with lazy kisses and Dwalin playing with his hair while Nori got to grope him. Every day, if they wanted. It was nice to be able to go to bed and kiss and touch and fall asleep after making love and never worry about where they needed to be. 

“We’ve slept in a bed together every night for an entire month now,” Nori had whispered into Dwalin’s ear as they tried to sleep. It had been a record; one Nori never had thought to reach. Dwalin had kissed him breathless when he realized.

Just that closeness gave Nori so many moments he would never have seen otherwise. He could see how Dwalin was when he was in a bad mood and retreated to sulk, he saw how Dwalin was when he was at home and bored, when he hadn’t had a proper breakfast yet or how childishly happy he was when he got to eat his favourite food.

Dwalin half asleep and dressing Nordin, or Nordin sitting in Dwalin’s arms and chewing at his sleeves. Dwalin playing his viol for them, with Nori not needing to worry that anyone would overhear. 

Holding each other and being silly and loud when they wanted to, singing loudly at each other and having their friends over and Nordin giving everyone his sweet toothless laugh while Dwalin danced with him, wild but also so very cautious.

Nights in which they could kiss and stroke one another and then just sleep, no moment was a precious opportunity that might not come again for too long. Fucking and making love quietly and slowly whenever, and Dwalin’s eyes on him when Nori worked his hands between his own legs, knowing that Dwalin sometimes just liked to watch him, or having Dwalin’s hand to use instead and never feeling the winter’s chill in the mountain, not with Dwalin’s skin against his, whenever Nori wanted.

It was… it was overwhelming.

When Dwalin stepped back from the kiss Nori nearly let out a soft moan of complaint, but he stopped himself just on time. Nordin was too little to understand anything yet, but Dwalin always got ridiculously flustered when Nori did inappropriate things around the little one.

Nordin leaned as far back as his restraints would let him, smacking his mouth and looking up at Dwalin expectantly. Dwalin held him as Nori undid the knots at his side, so that Dwalin could take both the scarf and the baby to carry instead. As soon as Nordin was in his arms he started babbling again, and burrowed against the furs of Dwalin’s coat. He loved soft things; always happy as a miner in a pit of mithril when he could doze in his own nest of blankets, and he liked the coat Dwalin was wearing now especially. 

Nori tied the scarf around Dwalin to fashion the sling to put Nordin in, then leaned against Dwalin, watching his family fondly. 

Dwalin and Nordin babbled at each other (Nordin babbled, Dwalin replied with ridiculous sounds that Nori snorted at but Nordin seemed to love) until Nordin grabbed hold of some of Dwalin’s hair and put his free hand into his mouth to suck at his knuckles.

Nori reached up and gently brushed over Dwalin’s hair and pushed back the single braid with his marriage bead, so that the shimmer wouldn’t tempt Nordin to tug on it and put it in his mouth. Nori’s own was always braided into his other braids, hidden in his hair when he knew there was a chance of it being pulled. 

Dwalin offered Nori his arm, and once Nori might have laughed at him and said it was silly, but he was happy and their son was cuddled against Dwalin’s chest and nobody was around so why shouldn’t Nori just walk with his husband when he felt like it?

There was nobody outside when Dwalin and Nori walked out of the gates onto the broad walkway high over the flatland around. It was getting dark already, but it was light enough to see the lake and Dale in the distance and everything around. Snow was falling, and Nordin tried to reach for each snowflake that came close enough to his face. 

It wasn’t cold with the thick clothes Nori was wearing, but he pressed himself to Dwalin’s side as if to look for warmth. It had been a little like that on their wedding, when Erebor was still in ruins. Nori’s clothes hadn’t been nice at all then, really just the thickest crudest fur coat they had, though Dori had done his very best to make it look nice and braid Nori’s hair in as splendid a way as a wedding would allow. 

Dwalin still had some of the cuts he had gotten in the battle on his face, and his bruises had faded to an ugly green and yellow, while Nori had still felt weak and exhausted. Thorin had demanded to stand as he led the ceremony, and only Fíli had managed to shake off any healer’s protests to stand there and support her uncle, while Kíli had sulked from where she had to sit on a litter. 

Nori remembered how cold and snowy it had been, how he had braided Dwalin’s hair carefully but quickly before his fingers would grow cold and stiff. Afterwards he had tried his best not to seem frantic when he took his little son back from where Ori was holding him, and then Dwalin had joined them and their boy had smiled so sweetly, as if he understood. It was one of Nori’s favourite memories.

After a while Nordin grew tired of reaching for snowflakes, and he leaned his head against Dwalin’s furs, sucking at his thumb and watching the world below the mountain. Dwalin wrapped one arm around him, and one around Nori to pull him closer.

“The anniversary of Erebor’s reclamation is coming nearer,” Nori reminded Dwalin, and leaned his cheek against his chest, opposite from where his son was watching him with drooping eyelids. 

“And Thorin’s coronation,” Dwalin added, “and the battle, and Nordin’s birthday, and our wedding.”

He tilted his head to kiss Nori’s forehead at the last bit. He usually didn’t show more affection than holding him in public, but there was nobody around to see.

“I have already talked to Balin about the ceremonial dagger we’ll give to Thorin, and it will be done on time.” 

Nori hummed in agreement. Since he still wasn’t familiar with the traditions within the royal family he had agreed to leave all of the planning to Dwalin, or more precisely Glóin and Balin, since they had a better grasp on what was publically appropriate, unlike Dwalin who saw Thorin too much as a friend and shield-brother to care about what the traditions. 

“We should also prepare something nice for Nordin,” he added, and his son glanced up at the mention of his name. The birthday would be only a small thing, compared to everything else, and since Nordin was still too young to understand that the celebration would be for _him_.

“Of course,” Dwalin never liked talking about presents he wanted to get for his son, while he was there to listen. It wasn’t like Nordin already understood the words, but Dwalin insisted on being secretive anyway.

His nose rubbed against Nori’s temple, and he pulled him closer. 

“What do _you_ want though? For our anniversary. I’d like to give you something special along with what gifts I already have. Something you really want.”

Nori smiled, glanced up to better see Dwalin’s face.

“Besides all the emeralds and diamonds you can find? We’re already filthy rich, you’ll spoil me.”

“I still want you to have something nice.”

“Then it’s easy,” Nori told him, “I want us to spend the day locked away in our bedroom and for you to go down on me for hours, all sweet and slow.”

Dwalin looked scandalized as he protectively covered Nordin’s ears and gave Nori and accusing wide-eyed stare.

Nori laughed at him. 

“You asked-“

“ _Nori_!”

“Oh shush, our pebble doesn’t mind, does he now?”

As if to agree, Nordin gave a pleased little squeal and reached for Nori, to curl his little hand around Nori’s finger as soon as it was offered. 

Dwalin still looked mildly scandalized, so Nori leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. For a moment Dwalin was still, then he turned his head into the touch and Nori could feel him smile. He’d never cared for indecency before, and it was only the attempt to shield his little son that would make Dwalin protest nowadays.

“Really though,” Dwalin asked gently, going back to holding both of his Dwarves as before. “Is there anything you want, besides the obvious things? Just ask for it.”

Nori looked over the flatland below. The sun had set in the meantime, and the sky was an enormous field of dark blues and deep purples, with the bright lake in the distance and the lights of Dale shining nearby. It had gotten colder as well, and the wind stirred the fur of Nori’s coat and tickled against his face.

They would return to the inside soon, they could go visit Dori’s place, or any of Dwalin’s relatives, or all of the company, if they could find and bring them together. Nobody would mind Nori’s presence, and Nori wouldn’t need to think about whether he was endangering anyone by being near.

Perhaps Dori would cook them tea and Bombur might make his stew. Or maybe he’d just take Dwalin and go back to their own house, have a quiet night there and put Nordin into his little cot, cover him with a blanket and give him his favourite doll to cuddle with, and then go back to their own bed, and sleep together and not care about how this was an exception and rare, knowing that they were officially, unquestionably together. 

Or maybe he’d do none of that, or all of it, a little bit of each or one by one every day. It didn’t matter, Nori _could_ do that, without having to worry about anything. 

His husband was warm against his side, and his son was trying to suck at his fingertips, and behind them was the shelter of the mountain they had helped reclaim.

Nori hummed softly as he leaned harder against Dwalin.

“No,” he said after a while, and curled his free arm around Dwalin’s waist.

“There’s nothing else I could ask for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dwarf babies grow slower than human ones, but they're also very adorable so everyone wins
> 
> Thank you, so so much for everyone who read this through to the end, and everyone who gave me ideas, cheered me on or just listened to me whine about being stuck. :'3 this story was fun to write and with being the longest (and probably most serious?) I did so far, I'm also very glad about the experience.   
> stay tuned for me turning back to dust covered WIPs and silly One Shots

**Author's Note:**

> edit:  
> I have drawn some (mostly silly) things for this verse, so all of it is here http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/tagged/Only-Thing-Art
> 
>  
> 
> all right, first of all, I am a cis female and therefore I don't know nearly enough about what I am writing here. A lot of things that I wouldn't even have considered might be actually problematic in one way or another. If you notice that, please do call me out on it!
> 
> and second, this was supposed to be short, but it got out of hand, and it was for the Nwalin Week, but I doubt that the prompt 'first times' or 'last times' even relates anymore.


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